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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that Ive given them enough notice about my holidays

18 replies

cuteboots · 03/02/2012 16:07

So handed in all my holiday forms in bulk as Im a single working mum and when my childminder is off I have no choice but to be off as well. I have no other childcare or family that can help hence giving my boss lots of notice . I now have 2 of the dates come back and have to see if there anything I can do?? Im happy to try and be flexible but without childcare what can I do? Im supposed to ask my mum apparently if she can help??

OP posts:
mojitomania · 03/02/2012 16:09

Its difficult isnt it OP. Its the same here for me Sad

Can't you pay one of your kids friends, thats how i got round it?

mojitomania · 03/02/2012 16:10

oops! laughing here, I meant one of your kids friends parents Grin

ThisIsANickname · 03/02/2012 16:10

If someone else has that holiday already booked, it really wouldn't matter how much notice you give (unless your work is very different).

I booked holiday for the olympics in October this year.

Newmummytobe79 · 03/02/2012 16:10

Have they said no because someone has booked the dates already?

How much notice did you give?

Hope you get the dates you want in the end x

EauDeLaPoisson · 03/02/2012 16:12

The thing is other people without kids may also want that same time off for whatever reason. Do you have any family friendly working policies?

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 03/02/2012 16:13

What makes them think you can ask your Mum?

couldiBEwearinganymoreclothes · 03/02/2012 16:59

As others have said it's not just about how much notice you give, but who else might want time off at the same time. Also if it's a busy time for your work they might not allow people to take leave at those times. It is hard but while you are entitled to take your annual leave you are not entitled to insist when it is - your employer does not have to allow you leave when you want it. Ask your employer why they have refused the other dates - if it's because others want the same time you may find they're willing to move their holiday.

Original poster
cuteboots · 03/02/2012 17:11

I think its cos two of the dates fall on month end but Im really struggling and having never had them refused before Im a bit stuck. I have to take my holidays around term time and my childminder and have been doing this for the past few years without any issues. Im not booking a holiday in cost del med!!

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll- That did annoy me a bit and I think its cos she helps me when and if hes ill

OP posts:
Original poster
cuteboots · 03/02/2012 17:13

Newmummytobe79- First holiday is April and handed the forms in about 3 week ago as soon as CM gave me her dates...

OP posts:
giveyourselfashiny · 03/02/2012 17:21

They can't always accommodate everyone. If its already booked then they can't help that. Them never refusing before doesn't mean anything really.

fluffiphlox · 03/02/2012 17:23

It's a difficult situation clearly. You are, of course, entitled to ask for time off but your organisation has the right to refuse if there are too many people wanting the same days. As a paid employee you have a responsibilty to your employer, as a mother you have a responsibilty to your child. When you took the job, how did you anticipate managing childcare, should your CM be sick? What was your anticipated fallback position? Can this now come in to play?

ByTheWay1 · 03/02/2012 17:28

If you can't get the time off, I guess you have to pay for childcare from somewhere else.... doesn't the childminder have a "back up", or someone she can recommend?? holidays have to be taken when it is convenient for the employer too.. there is not usually a right to take it when you want, you need to fit in with their needs.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 03/02/2012 17:33

If your mum is available to help sometimes, then could you ask her again? Or ask your childminder who she uses as her emergency back up? Childminders usually know other childminders that could help for odd days.

I know that's not really the point of your post, but I think you have to see it from both sides. Your employers may not be able to give you all the dates you want, and they shouldn't have to just because you gave them a lot of notice. They have other requests to consider, and they have to make it fair to all their employees, plus make sure the work isn't affected.

It's a pain in the arse, but it's just one of the things that goes along with being a parent.

OrmIrian · 03/02/2012 17:35

it is difficult I know. But they aren't obliged and if they need you there it doesn't really matter how much notice you give.

Do you have a friend who could step in. Years ago the mum of one of DS#1's friends used to look after my children when I was stuck. I paid her for it.

Original poster
cuteboots · 03/02/2012 17:39

I dont really know anyone I can leave him with. This is where me never leaving him with anyone comes in. Plus I cant just leave him with anyone!!

OP posts:
PeanutButterCupCake · 03/02/2012 18:11

You need to find alternative care or try to swap with wIth whoevers already booked it off? Your employer has to ensure the working environment is covered.
They've obviously been accommodating in the past as you say you've not had a problem before.

Flisspaps · 03/02/2012 18:14

Alternatively, can your CM give you the details of anyone who can have your son for ad-hoc days, to cover times such as these?

Most CMs will know at least one other CM, and some do take children on an ad-hoc basis if they have space.

trixymalixy · 03/02/2012 18:20

YANBU to find it hard, but YABU to think you are entitled to get whatever holidays you ask for just because you have children. If you asked with plenty notice then you have plenty notice to find alternative childcare.

If the childminder's holidays are such a problem then perhaps a nursery might be a better childcare choice for you.

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