To expect my children to have a booster, at least a SEAT BELT when taken home from school?

[amidaiwish]

DDs are nearly 8 and 6.
Last week DD2 went home with a friend for tea & play, that evening she told me in the car to her friend's house she wasn't wearing a seat belt, because there wasn't one for her! (her friend was in the front on a booster and seat belt), the mum also had her toddler in a car seat and another girl who she drops home in the back with a seat belt. DD2 was in the middle of the back seat with nothing. I was furious.
Then tonight DD1 was supposed to be going home with a friend and i happened to ask this morning if she had enough boosters and the mum said "oh no we don't use them anymore". AIBU?! DD1 is quite tall but surely they should still be in boosters. Mine are both still in high back boosters in my car and i would never give a child a lift without at least a booster never mind a seat belt.

In the UK, children under 135cm height or age 12 should be in booster seats. Booster cushions are not recommended for under 6 under any circumstances.

www.childcarseats.org.uk/law/

The lack of a seatbelt for your daughter dictates she shouldn't be in the car.

I saw 4 kids piled across the back seats of a car the other week and did a serious cats bum mouth.

I would definately expect a 6yr old to be on a booster seat at least, 8yr old too.

No seat belt at all was dangerous & wrong and you have aright to be annoyed. But the booster seat, it just depends on the height of the child. Both mine are tall for their age and eldest did not need a booster anymore by age 7. Younger one is nearly 7 and nearly tall enough not to need it. We will keep the booster for a while though incase we need to give lifts to younger/smaller children. However I do see children of 8/9/10 who are pretty tall still on booster seats and it does look very uncomfortable for them.

YADDDDNBU.

That is a total shocker.

thank you. i was beginning to think i was being ridiculous! I asked a few other mums and they were quite shocked about the no seat belt at all but didn't worry too much about boosters.
If the seat belt rests against their neck rather than their shoulder then in a crash the seat belt could actually kill them. That is what I've understood anyway, so in many instances it does depend on the car, height of child, position and adjustability of seat belt etc. I think i'll be the paranoid mum sending my kids to school with their trunki back pack seats whenever they're going on a playdate.

YANBU. Part of making arrangements for tea is to ask about seatbelts. Fortunately we have a few boosters (but nothing for very small toddlers) even though my eldest (8) doesn't require one anymore as he's tall...

Strange that its not habit to ask!

You are absolutely right, I would have been very angry with the other mums for taking my children without informing me that they had no booster seats.

A note for the future, ask beforehand, though, and as pp said, provide yours if necessary.

This happened to my DD once. She was about 5 or 6 at the time and was going home to a friend's house for tea. I knew the mum had three children altogether, but I figured that meant there'd be three kids in the back and the oldest child in the front. Actually what happened though was she brought her boyfriend along with her so there were four kids in the back and none of them wore seatbelts because there weren't enough to go round. I felt furious but too much of a wimp to say anything.

Another occasion when she was a bit older DD went to a birthday party. The Dad drove them all to the swimming pool in his 4x4, and when it was time to come back the birthday girl wanted them all to sit in the space at the back behind the seats. The dad didn't want to but the mum was on birthday girl's side, so they all of them (about four or five of them) sat in that back bit without seatbelts. Not only was I annoyed but I was just incredulous that someone could be that stupid when looking after someone else's kids.

Erm......kids are allowed to travel on short unplanned trips without the correct seat.

Seatbelts I would insist on though. So YANBU about that bit.

A playdate is planned Blue. These arrangements were made in advance. I would never take a 6yo without a carseat, let alone a belt.

OP - next time, always ask if got carseat/space in car. Everyone at our school does this, there must have been problems in the past. Even if you provide the trunki, if there isn't a seatbelt for your DD like on this occasion, it will be no good.

YADNBU.

we have a spare boster seat for when DS 8 has friends over for tea,

i had 2 kids back for tea tonight
my DD1 was in the front on a full high back seat
DD2, her friend and DD1's friend were all in the back, all on boosters, with car seats. This took some planning for me as i had to take out DD2's full seat and put 3 boosters in the back.

no one asked me, i am sure they would just assume that if i needed a booster or whatever that i would ask. (or that it would be MY children who would go without, not theirs).

but yes i do often ask "do you need a booster", but not always. i certainly didn't think i needed to ask "will DD have a seatbelt"!

thanks for the replies, goes to show you can never be sure!

Am surprised people are suggesting 7 year olds don't need boosters. They'd have to be over 135cm before they don't need one.

I would never offer a child a lift without proper seats etc

Also, the exemption for short trips is only "unexpected necessity" ie not a planned trip

I think the unplanned thing is to cover say, your son is at football, you get a flat tyre, it's pouring down, someone drops him off but has no spare seat - on the balance of probabilities it's more likely he will be harmed by standing in the rain than by the short trip...not a good example but hopefully shows you an idea...if I knew I was taking someone else's child in advance, id always arrange a seat.

As for no seatbelt!! Words fail me.