To send DS to school with a cold and request he doesn't play outside?

[aldiwhore]

Genuinely not sure if I'm U or not. DS was off school yesterday with the stinking cold the whole family has, he wasn't right at all so was confident I made the right decision.

This morning I decided to send him, he's still snotty but perfectly well in himself, though he said the cold air (and its freezing) was stinging his nose. I gave him tissues and some vaseline and feel a day at school would do him more good than harm.

I asked the teacher if he could be excused from playtime outside if HE didn't feel up to it. The teacher said if he wasn't well enough to run around in sub zero temps then he wasn't well enough to be in school and I shouldn't have sent him in ill.

I sort of see his point, but I have this cold too, I'm perfectly fine to sit in the warm and sit on MN work on the pc, but there's no way I want to run about outside.

So.. my first AIBU, not very dramatic, just unsure!

He's either well enough to go and take part in everthing at school or he's not. Is the school so well staffed that they can provide supervision for your son if he decides he doesn't want to go outside? If it was me I'd have kept him off and let him have a duvet day since it's Friday anyway, which would also presumably save you having to go and fetch him later when you also have the cold! Get well soon

Well, every sympathy and all that but yes YABU and his teacher does have a point. Also, when I have a cold being out in the fresh air (cold as it is) makes me feel better as it clears the airways.

If he just has a cold but is well in himself then of course send him to school but no, dont start making requests that he stays inside.

Fair enough. Confidence crisis! I obviously listened to hard to my mum who said I'd have had to be near death before she kept me at home and I would be spoiling him.

Being ill affects my judgement. I would have kept him off for the said duvet day had i been thinking clearer, even though as I've had no phone call he's obviously okay.

I think I was trying to be kind to him. Thanks, much appreciated.

Who are you expecting to supervise him? Staff already on break duty who have a whole school of "outside" children to look after too or the staff whose turn it is to have a toilet / coffee break of their own?

I have sent my dd1 in with a stinking cold. It didn't even occur to me to ask she was kept inside... I feel even more cruel now

Even if it had occurred to me I wouldn't have asked. There won't be any additional support for supervising her and I wouldn't expect anyone to miss their own break to do so.

skittles there's at least 3 children at present on library breaks (I don't know why), I wouldn't expect anyone to provide supervision just for him.

YABU for the reasons others have mentioned above.

And why wouldn't you go outside with a cold? He'll feel better with a bit of fresh air and exercise, honestly.

Agree with the teacher I think. I suspect he will be fine outside unless he has a temp still (in which case he should be at home). It's a gorgeous day so he'll enjoy being outside as long as he's well-wrapped up.

Hope he's feeling better soon.

Obviously my own illness and feeling sorry for myself is being projected onto my son... I may even wrap myself up and go for a walk, you speak sense.

I'm not good at being ill and have a tendancy to wail.

Soft touch AND U

As long as he's put his vaseline on then I'm sure a good bit of fresh air will do him good. If he is having fun playing with his mates I wouldn't be surprised if he actually forgot about his sore nose.

YABU and why do mums put rain covers on prams when it's cold and not raining? A bit of fresh cold air never did me any harm

Thanks for answering aldi - I came across as stroppier than intended there.

We too do library style breaks - usually mixing an interesting combo of children with broken limbs and those who have struggled with social interactions outside!

As an aside though, I am home from school today with a throat infection that has caused me to lose my voice entirely - can't think where I would have caught it! My resistance to being sneezed and coughed on is pretty high and I have no problem with slighty poorly returners to class but you wouldn't believe that way some children are sent into school.

My favourite last week was a child that produced a note during register (after parents had gone) saying

"A's sister has chicken pox. A has loads of spots on her tummy, could you have a look and you think it's chicken pox too you can ring us (after 11am please as working)"

Amazing! And yes A was engulfed in the pox by 9.30!

My child currently can't play out as her consultant has said she can't for two months following recent operation. I wouldn't really expect them to keep her in if she had a cold though.

YABU for all the reasons mentioned above, if he;s not well enough to join in he really shouldn't be at school. I'm sure he'll be fine :)

Wowzer skittles that's a bit much! I do try not to inflict illness on the school, but also strike balance so that my children aren't at home with every sniffle. There's a nasty sickness bug doing the rounds, and I do get annoyed when people have sent their children back into school the next day because they 'seem' okay...

Don't really know what's come over me lately, I'm usually quite good at judgement!

You didn't sound stroppy by the way, it was a very valid point.

But when you take the correct time of for every illness, 5 days for chicken pox, 24 hours after last bout of d and v which has already lasted a couple of days, stay at home with temperature, then the school start sending you nasty letters IME.

I've kept ds off today, he's coughing so much that his throat is very sore and he can barely speak as his voice is going. He was off so much last term though (flu) I feel terrible about letting him have the day off. The school keep mentioning his attendance but there's not a lot that I can do if he's unwell. Should I send him in this afternoon with a packet of tunes and some Benylin?

Sadly schools are under such pressure to improve attendance figures (by LA advisors and ofsted) that some are forgetting the common sense approach of dealing with each family as individuals.

There are a (larger than you would think) minority of families who will call a child in sick for shopping or cinema trips, family birthdays or to help with caring duties for family members. That is where the support (or pressure) needs to be directed but some schools go for the one size fits all threatening letter approach at 90% or 85% attendance.

If your school is being an arse about real sickness, the best way through it is to document it all with doctors appts. No EWO will carry forward a case of genuine illness to the courts.

I did this once with ds1 because this is what happened when we were kids.

But it seems that things have changed. He was told by the teacher that if he's not well enough, he shouldn't come to school.