After 2.2 years DP still just doesn't get it!

[QueenSconetta]

DD is 2.2, and I can count on about 2 fingers the amount of times DP has got up with her. It is always me.

This morning was the worse example for a long time, DD came through to us at about 7am, so I talked to her etc and eventually at about 8 I went to the loo, left her with DP. While I was away I could here her saying 'play cards Daddy' repeatedly, getting quite annoyed, I saw she was shouting in his face, and when I came back she had given up and was just sitting there. He just doesn't get that you can't just sleep when you want when you have small children and they won't go away just because you ignore them!

He works shifts, so a lot of the time I

don't expect him to get up, but he is off this week and next so no excuse! On top of this my Dad is very ill in hospital 20 miles away and he knows I am struggling with everything, with visiting and dealing with DD.

Rant over, sorry!

Have you asked him to get up with DD? What does he say?

He says he will, then doesn't bother his arse.

Pull the duvet off of him and push him out of bed. Some men need more than a hint.

Lol, will try that Tee, xx.

Blimey what would he do if you weren't there, just ignore her all the time?

Why not tell him you're off to see your dad and he's got her all day, what would he say to that?

Then let him know he's expected to get up with her while he's off work as you've been doing it without a break for over 2 yrs, it's about time you had a lie in!

Oh dear, explain to him how stressed you are and that you need the extra support this week, especially as he is not working and your dad is ill. I hope your father is feeling better soon.

Sorry but he doesn't have to give in to every whim of the child. Just because she wants to play cards doesn't mean everything has to stop. Maybe it's good for the child to learn the world doesn't revolve around her.

I agree he shouldn't ignore her though, he could've said "not right now dd daddy's sleeping"

Salmon, I agree but its all the time when he decides he has something else to do, that was just an example.

Ah ok, are you a sahm?

Since he's off for 2 weeks and your dad is in hospital, you need to tell him you're struggling and you need his help. Tell him he's got to stay with dd on days xyz while you visit your dad

So I have just gone up to tell him to get up. He's had an extra hour and he says 'now we're even, you fall asleep in the chair at night'. He's right I do but this is when DD is in bed, so its not the same thing at all! I really had to use all my will power not to shout fine I'm going to my Mum's, lol

No, I'm not. I work full time (over 4 days) an hours commute away.

In that case he's taking the piss

Yes, he is, x.

Are you working today? If you're not, just quietly put on your coat and say "I'm off, bye," and head out the door.

He's had an extra hour and he says 'now we're even, you fall asleep in the chair at night'.

I am laughing at this. My first instinct was to detail what a petty, childish idiot he is....but then you know....when lack of sleep is the subject, it can become very very petty indeed.

OP - his rest is NOT more important than yours. It's equally so. Don't let him bully you into doing more than your fair share of getting up in the morning. Sit him down and calmly tell him that it unacceptable to be so self serving in the mornings, and don't fall for any his ignoring tactics in the morning either - firmly tell him it's his turn and to get up. As agreed.

Small issue - but I don't want to play cards upon opening my eyes first thing either. I understand him there.....but to ignore his little one is rude. He can respond kindly without giving in.

No I wouldn't want to play cards either, it was more that he just ignored her.

Thanks for replies, I need to get tougher. Amazingly when I have called him out about it he still thinks he's in the right!