wwyd mental health

[whoknowsnotme]

Hello, prob the wrong section but here gets the most traffic so thought id post here, perhaps it might do me good to get a virtual slap!
Im pretty sure i have got some sort of mental health problem. I cant quite put my finger on what i think i have so is prob easier if i wright a list of strange things i do...

1. some days i dont go out because i feel so ugly, other days i feel great
2. i am extremely paranoid about doing things in the house as i am genuinely concerned there may be cameras watching me

3.i spend hours feeling sick worrying about the most ridiculous things (last night i stayed up panicking that there wer pins in the moses basket with the baby in it. there definatly wasnt as i had checked already) 4.i sometimes dont open the curtains for days

1. on the rare occasion i shower, i spend the whole time panicking that im going to get stabbed and killed
2. i have many sleepless nights panicking about developing cancer, what would dd do, how would i tell everyone
3. i cry all the time at the thought of dh dyeing, being at his funeral ect. if id even be able to speak (there is nothing wrong with him health wise)
4. i panic and feel sick at the thought of my dh going out in the car without me at night as im convinced he is going to crash and die

These are just some of the things. now if im honest although it sounds very very strange my life, it doesnt really impact it in anyway! if you knew me you would never know iyswim. iv always got my make up done, dd is excelling (hv words) shes happy healthy, loved, properly taken care of ect and im very happily married to dh. so given that it doesnt ddebilitate my life in anyway except for stressing me out. is it worth going to gp when a) i woulndnt take any pills b) i really dont like or trust them really to talk about this with.

other than the above im actually a very happy functioning person! :) its just isolated things! but in my possition wwyd?

you shouldn't feel embarassed.......this is probably related to the pregnancy and being a new mum...it's more common than you think , there are treatments available: be fully honest with GP or health visitor....you'll get over it much quicker with medical help than without it

PND isn't just failing to bond with your baby though, it certainly was not much of a problem with my dd.
For me, like you, I had suffered long term but having my dd worsened it whilst at the same time giving me a real valid reason to seek help, so that in the long run my issues would not impact upon her.
You don't have to get a diagnosis but making the time to carry on with the CBT would be a good starting place.
Really believe me, the best thing to do is face up to it and deal with it. It will be worth it in the long run!

Do go back to your GP whoknows. There is nothing to be ashamed of - really! We live in a society that is obsessed with being perfect and MH diagnoses don't fit into that ideal (which, incidentally, doesn't exist). The majority have issues now and again which would come under the heading of MH. People just don't talk about it.

Whatever the issues you are facing, it's not your fault - it's not as if you stood in the queue for this is it? ("Yes please!"). You don't like it, it's not pleasant, it interferes with your general functioning, even if you do manage to cover it up. Why cover it up? Whatever it is that is going on with you, whatever the title, it is well documented by professionals and you won't be the first or the last to experience symptoms like these. I am very pro anti-depressants should the need arise - or SSRi's if that helps! - as the alternative doesn't bear thinking about tbh. They are extremely clever meds designed to hit the exact spot and, frankly, are a godsend - they certainly saved my life when I had eg PND. Most people I know have taken ADs at one stage or another (also had counselling) - they just don't talk about it. My last GP was on ADs - and singing their virtues.

Well done for getting it out on here. I do think though that thoughts like the ones you are having won't just go away and could well get worse without treatment, even develop into something more serious - have your symptoms got worse over time? It sounds like you are experiencing high levels of anxiety and there could be many reasons for that - you need the right people to work out what it going on and devise treatment to suit your needs. Sounds like there is also an open door for you re your last counsellor.

Please dont worry too much! I am the same.
For example I have to cross the road because I am thinking one of the people will shot me if I dont do it. Sometimes I can see car running me over and I have to do something to stop it i.e turn or take the bus right that sec. Its really annoying and taking over my life. my dd is 10mo and I am sure its nothing to do with pnd. I am really angry with myself because I have to do things I dont want to do. I have very controlling personality and I hate that things are out of my control. As I said i do have ocd. I do things in order, clean etc but intrusive thoughts are the worst.
Please speak to your gp and get things sorted. It will get better!! good luck

OP you need to tell someone about this

you are 12 weeks post partum... and you think there are cameras in your house watching you...? PND is not always about the baby, do you know that? It can manifest in all sorts of ways.

This kind of paranoia thinking you are being watched, fearing being murdered/attacked, etc can very quickly spin out of control into full psychosis. if that happens your daughter will not be safe with you, and you won't know she's not safe. You'll carry on caring for her and may end up putting her in enormous danger because you've lost touch with reality.

Don't keep your feelings and anxieties a secret because YOU don't want to talk about them. This is not about you, it's about the baby and keeping her safe.

You need to talk to someone urgently. You need to take medication if that's what they prescribe. Seriously. This is quite a bit more of a problem than you seem to want to acknowledge.

I agree with oik OP. It may not be too much of a problem now but it really could get out of control and it's much better to address it earlier rather than later. You've gone as far as posting on here, now take it to a professional who will know the best treatment for you. YOu're not alone, as some of the posters on your thread can testify, but you will need to manage the symptoms you are experiencing and only a professional will be able to guide you on that. Don't try to do it alone eh?

agree you should be seeking medical help asap. as what you are describing even if it is "just" a form of anxiety/ocd you are used to living with is having a big effect on your day to day life, as you don't always feel able to go out, rarely feel up to showering, and spend sleepless nights tormented by anxiety, and can't cope with your DH doing normal activities (going out at night). Even if you aren't depressed right now, living with this level of anxiety is likely to lead to depression on top. I have experienced OCD and depression btw, with a degree of social anxiety, but have never thought there were cameras watching me, your fear regarding being watched does concern me tbh.

in terms of treatment - it may be that returning to CBT is the most appropriate course of action. or you may need meds as well. but that would be a decision for you to take in conjunction with your medical advisers.

I'm really surprised people are saying this is "normal" - I think it doesn't sound at all normal, to be honest, and it sounds like you need urgent medical help.

What is it that others are seeing that I am not? It sounds like you are having regular distressing intrusive thoughts, are struggling to maintain personal hygiene, regularly seclude yourself in the house, have feelings of paranoia and also worries and concerns about things that you have already checked and found not to be as you worry.

There is no "just" about it, whether it's PND, anxiety, OCD or whatever, it is something that needs to be dealt with. Now.

yes, GP asap

please

I have an anxiety disorder. My life was becoming unliveable until I reached crisis point and realised I needed help. It needn't have got that far.

Go to your GP as soon as you can. There's nothing to be ashamed of or worried about in their reaction. At this stage post partum if you had a physical issue you wouldn't hesitate for it to be investigated; try to understand this in a similar way.

Some A&E departments have on call psychiatric nurses if you sense any of the thoughts, feelings or beliefs you listed above are becoming unmanageable suddenly. Mind can give you more expert advice if you don't feel your GP is immediately approachable.

OP just to pick up on the point you made about not thinking this is PND because it was going on before your baby arrived, I had quite severe depression that began in pregnancy and continued after baby was born. I think pregnancy has such a massive impact on some women, so much going on hormonally, physically, also not to mention with our anxiety and stress levels. Throw in sleep deprivation too and it all can pile up.

Like others said don't be quick to throw a label on your feelings and worry about what people think, go see your GP they are honestly there to help.

Agree with Frida CBT could help with these thoughts. I think labels are unhelpful because they scare people. Actually almost all MH issues are a spectrum so I might worry about DD but you worry more. Some people worry less. I think your worrying has got a bit much for you so you need some help.

Just read your responses and tbh they have really quite frightened me. Im worried tho that i have made it sound worse than it actually is. i do stress about strange things admittedly but my day to day living is pretty much as normal as most other people! and as for the showering ect, that's probably just my laziness showing through, which i can work on! however i do take your points, i asked on here for advice so il take it and make an appointment with gp. thankyou all so much or sharing your experiences with me.

OP - I have quite a few of the same worries about you... Health ones and then random worry thoughts like if I am walking past a group of teenagers I think I hope they won't mug me for my bag or if someone is looking at me I think they're out to get me! Don't want to hijack your thread so will make a different one but you're deffo not alone. I'm scared to seek help too and Worry about it on my records

Not about you... As you!!! Sorry, that looks awful, not worries about you!

So so glad you're going to make an appt. Don't leave anything out when you speak to the GP, ok? Print this out and show it to him/her. If you leave something out, you may just end up downplaying what's happening, and you may not get the support you need.

Be brave, you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of, professionals admire people who seek help... it's the ones who DON'T seek help who end up putting their children in danger and getting things "on their record" etc.

Also I can't imagine how being afraid of being murdered/hurt/etc = you are lazy and need to "work on it". those two things don't go together at all, they don't make sense logically.

Don't be frightened. Do go to the GP or other MH services for a chat. Good luck!

There is nothing to be frightened about. Please go and see your GP, they will be able to help much more than we can via a forum.

Either way you win - either you go and they tell you there is nothing to worry about or they say that yes, actually it does sound like you need a bit of support for PND or OCD or whatever - then they give you the support that you need.

The idea of these things is always scarier than the reality and healthcare workers see lots of PND so if that is what it is, they will help you feel better so that you can enjoy your time with your baby more.

Good luck!