To be completely freaking out at the thought of my first appt. with the infertility consultant tomorrow

[raspberrytipple]

As per thread title really. It's tomorrow and I'm getting in a hysterical panic. DH is taking the more laid back approach of 'just think of it as going to get sorted so we can get pregnant sooner rather than later'. He's been lovely but I just can't feel as laid back. I'm scared about the pelvic examination, I'm worried they'll send us away and just say we have to try for longer (its over two years already). I'm just scared of everything and have got myself in a ridiculous mess :(

Hi raspberry, by now you'll probably have had the apt and realised it's nothing to worry about!

We've had a number of 'first appointments' due to various doctor-led referral cock-ups and a change in clinic, but they were nothing but positive experiences as it's a way of taking control of what otherwise is an unhappy situation to find yourself in.

TBH the examinations, scans, poking and prodding to mean to end up leaving your dignity at the door, but you quickly get used to them and they become less stressful. In fact if you're like me, once you get going, you'll probably find them quite fascinating as you see your follicles growing on the monitors and the transfer later on!

Hi again all,
It's all over and I survived. Nearly had a little cry before hand but I stopped being a wimp and it all went ok. Consultant was happy with with the shape/size etc of my ovaries when he dildo cam'ed me. I've had the day '3' test today (even though I'm day 5 which he said didn't matter) and have to go back in two weeks for the day 20.

I have to be honest he showed me the ovaries and said 'ah yes, couple of follicles getting ready to get going' but I couldn't see what he was looking at even though he traced over it with his finger to point it out. I had some swabs taken although I can't remember what for. Because one of my earlier blood tests was a bit higher than they would expect he has said he suspects fibroids and possibly a touch of endo. I can't remember now what the explaination was but he seemed to think that because of another condition that I have that my tubes are likely to be blocked.

DH's sperm sample is apparently a shade under what they would consider normal (literally by 2 or 3%) so they are re-running that test again as it was over 3 months since he was tested.

So the upshot is I am now on the waiting list for a lap & dye which I will have by the end of April and if they find anything they will fix it there and then.

Very relieved I think but also anxious about the op and whether it will all worked but at least we have progress people!

Thanks all for your messages, they really helped! x

Glad it wasn't too awful, you are now on the road to getting what you want! I found the waiting MUCH worse than the appointments.

Now do something nice like have a few glasses of wine / eat some blue cheese as hopefully that will have to stop soon!

That all sounds really positive. It's great that his sperm count isn't too bad - my husband managed to boost his from pretty to low to above average by cutting out most booze (especially whisky and beer), foregoing his hot baths and taking solgar male multiple vits. I think it only takes 3 months to make a difference.

Let us know how you get on at your next appointment.

Glad all went ok and the ball is rolling.

I also highly recommend www.fertilityfriends.co.uk you will get answers to any questions as well as lots of hugs & support.
Xx

Thanks guys, feeling much more positive today. I spoke to DH about bath time and booze, he just got all defensive and hurt and said 'but I'm only a tiny bit under and the results were probably just wrong' but I did point out that if I'm having to have surgery and GA then he can do it do his little bit too. Just been working through the bits of information the doc gave us on the NICE guidelines and now going to check out fertility friends. Going to slob out this weekend then back on the healthy eating/lifestyle next weekend in preparation. Do you think I should keep taking folic acid between now and surgery?

If you aren't going to use any contraception then yes keep taking it. Good Luck - all sounds pretty positive so far.

Another FF recommendation.
Does DH have job where he is sitting down a lot eg bus driver, lorry driver as the heat from sitting down and poor air circulation can also hinder production. Likewise cycling, rowing machines - hot and sweaty.
It doesn't always work though, I know this from experience but the treatment did.

DH is mostly desk bound Glitter and cycles to and from work so about 40 minutes on a bike a day. Also sits with a lap top on his lap a lot! So that is going to be banned from now on :) This is not going to go down well I fear.....

Okey doke Northern I'll stick with the Folic Acid because the consultant didn't say anything about using contraception between now and the Lap so I suppose there is always a chance no matter how small and it's part of a multi vitamin any how so it's only going to do me good.

Laptops are a huge generator of heat and there have been various studies about the impact on male IF. If he puts a mat under the laptop to stoop heating himself up, this could help.
Being desk bound isn't so much a problem as he can get up and walk about whereas a driver can't really do this. 40 mins a day out in the fresh air (2 lots of 20 I assume?) on a bike isn't as bad as an airless sweaty gym.
I would caution a bit by bit approach so as not to be a nag, it's something he will also be hurting about as well.

Yes, men are generally v. sensitive about their swimmers - approach subject with caution!

To add to the list of things that slow them down - mobile phones in front jeans' pocket. If that's where he carries it he should change.

I will have to tread carefully then! Funny isn't it, us women just accept that we aren't working properly and do whatever it takes to fix it whereas men just seem to panick and worry what people will think ie that they are less of a man for being 'slightly less than normal'. The consultant certainly didn't think it was an issue and fingers crossed the next results will be better.

Just want to wish you well. Have they made it clear you'll need 5 days rest after the lap? That came as a shock to me.

Please keep a record of your scores, dates of tests etc etc. You are now on a journey and you don't know when it will end - and if you move house & hospital they won't send for the notes they'll expect you to know this stuff. That was a shock too.

Stay strong. Keep talking. Use the counsellor if it's offered even if u think you don't need it.

I regret wasting a year on iui. Ivf is only a bit nastier and has a much higher success rate.

Hi PicaK, the literature says 2-3 days but I know a couple of girls who have had one who have been advised to take a week so I will have to see how I go.
the house move is only to the other side of our current town so I wont need to change hospital but you are right, I do need to take notes and be sure what they say. Yesterday was such a lot to take in, all I remember now was that he has said I've got to have a lap &dye!

You can get special bike seats designed not to squash men's bits too much. Every litlle helps!

I had 2 weeks off work after my lap n dye. I could not sit at my desk until then...lol. DS was IVF.