Not to want to do school run with other children?

[Molehillmountain]

Sets us all off balance. Dd1 doesn't like sharing me any more than she has to already, none of us is all that sociable in the morning , our timings are a bit critical-once everyone's ready we're off before a plate stops spinning. I feel very protective towards the other child and am therefore more restrictive to dd1s freedom which she doesn't like. And I like to be there to drop dd off and be the first to see her after school, except when working. All in all, it costs me more than I gain and the one time I set up an arrangement I knocked it on the head after a couple of weeks. I can do it for extra curricular stuff and I'm really happy to host playdates.

There's no law that you have to share the school run but sometimes in life it is good to share and there may be times when you are ill, delayed at work, have a doctor's appointment etc when you would welcome someone to share the school run. If you have insisted on 'doing your own thing' you may find people are not so willing to help you out .............. but at the end of the day it is up to you, personally I wish I did have someone to share the school run with .

I hated taking other people's children to school. The lift share thing didn't really work for me. I was always v worried about the other child, to the point where DS was getting virtually ignored. It was very very stressful.

I know exactly what you mean Molehill. I don't have to do it any more.

But you have 'their mum' Dizzy. That would make all the difference.

You know, it's completely different on one off occasions or emergencies. Really happy to help and be helped then. But I felt guilty when I ended up cross with my dc for the sake of half an hour at home. Luckily i've learnt early on that it's not my style and doesn't help.

No of course YANBU if you don't want to do it. I don't quite see the point of your post?

I suppose just am I weird not to want to! Have sorted out that I don't want to on a regular basis but wanted to know if anyone else felt the same. No biggie really.

I think the point of the post is that people think it's a great idea to take other people's children to school and they yours on a regular basis. It's not always, it's stressful. Plus sometimes their little darlings are a right PITA.

Sounds fair enough to me. Don't feel pressured. If it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work. Simple as that.

Eeek. And here's me trying to find another parent to take mine to school for me. I just can't manage the walk twice a day at the moment, so figured doing the afternoons only would be much easier. Just trying to work out who to ask about it and how much to offer towards petrol. Is it really as bad as you say?

It was a life-saver for me personally when the DCs were younger. With three DCs close in age I had between 10 and 15 trips to and from the school per week; a four-mile drive. I shared with someone nearby who had three similarly-aged children, and it made things so much easier, particularly when DD2 was a baby.

However, when we moved on to junior school there was no-one nearby to share with. I couldn't be bothered with all those complex meet-ups and child-switching in pub carparks, so I did the school run by myself.

I can see both sides of it, to be honest! But it is very handy to have help in a crisis (car breakdown etc).

My neighbour and I both liked to do the school runs, me because I worked evenings so I wanted to see Dss before work. We only took each others if we were ill etc.

You get the Mums who say 'would you like to come in DS is nearly ready' when you bust a gut to get there at the agreed time.

I with you OP - I never like the lift share thing for most of the same reasons as others posting. I'll always cover for someone in an emergency though. It just doesn't suit some people.

I really didn't mind once in a while, in emergencies. I'm not totally horrible.

Fewer cars doing the school run has to be a good thing - if you go on foot that's another thing entirely.

See, DS is still at the pre-school stage, but I can't imagine I'd like to be in a school run share, I hate it as it is that I sometimes bump into someone I know on the mornings I work at the train station and have to make small talk all the way to London first thing in the morning. I truely hate that. I can't imagine I'd like having to deal with anything other that what I had to deal with in the morning, so YANBU.

And I think I have less to gain than lose given that it's a five min walk to school. I just stick my three year old in a pushchair if I think he'll be stroppy walking. Emergencies of any kind are a different category. If I had a drive or longer walk I might well feel differently. Sparkling-oh the getting ready!! On the few times we did it we were ready and waiting. But maybe other people aren't as stressed in the morning as me!

for me it completely depends on the children. Some of DDs friends are absolutely great, no trouble at all, one or two though are very hard work and I agree, no-one needs that at that time of the morning.

YANBU. Emergencies are different but I can only cope with sorting my own in the mornings. I'm very punctual so being late because of others drives me nuts. Last year I agreed to take a friend of DS1's to school (a 20 min drive away) for early morning rugby training - we had to leave at 7.10. First two mornings he didn't arrive until 7.20, third week we left without him as I had got DS to phone him the night before to remind him he had to be on time but there was no sign of him at 7.10. After that I told DS1 to tell him it was no longer on offer which would have been more difficult if they were younger or if I knew the parents.

That was a big part of it-finely balanced timings, a baby strapped on and two others ready then hanging around. Just not worth it.

By coincidence I am taking my neighbour's little boy today. DS2 currently still in his dressing gown and we leave at five past 8.

I see your point Molehill. Myself and a friend have been sharing the school runs for a year or so now, with our ds's, I do Tuesdays and Wednesdays and she does Thursdays and Fridays, (mornings only, both boys have various clubs etc after school so we do our own thing then).

Thing is her ds is more of a handful than mine, he's calmed down a bit now but there was a time he'd just argue, want to go a different way, didn't want to carry his bag, wanted to run down alley way on his own and meet us at school, etc etc!

I had to get quite firm with him and tbh missed the 1 to 1 time with my my own child in the mornings. The other child has got a bit easier but since September I've said on a Monday I just take ds. He was also saying he wanted some time without the other boy. Obv if my friend couldn't take her ds for any reason the odd Monday I'd step in and vice versa.

He also says he can't "talk" to his friend's mum like he can me, so sometimes even when it's his turn to go with them he'll ask me to take him!

Sharing school runs works a treat sometimes, but doesn't suit everybody all the time! I think my friend was a bit put out about the Mondays tbh, she did say once or twice if she was going anyway why couldn't my ds just go with them, or vice versa. But then I don't get the feeling her and her ds are that bothered about time to themselves, she'd rather have other kids over for him to play with or have him at somebody's house pretty much all the time so he's occupied. We do a lot of that ourselves but also need time when it's just us as a family. Everyone's different I suppose.

I love it,2 or 3 mornings a week I don't have to get dressed before 9am.i can have 20 mins extra in bed.the child I take is a dream though,they have fun on the way,especially in summer when we walk rather than drive.