To have brought dd into my bed tonight

[quitcomplaining]

Dp is sleeping on sofa due to awful cough that feels like it shakes the foundations of the house

I have hyperemesis and feel like a donkeys arse. Will probably need to go back into hospital tommorrow for another wonderful shot in my bottom and time on a drip.

I have been the worst mother ever the last two weeks.

But tonight I don't care. I have taken 18 month of dd from her room and put in with me to listen to her little sleep sounds and smell her hair.

This is the bit where you are all thinking oh well one night won't hurt when you feel so bad...

Well it will because I have spent the last 2 weeks sleep training her as we used to cosleep, I fear i have probably ruined everything!

YANBU. Sleep well.

Sometimes u just need to do what you feel is right :-)

Oh NO NO NO NO... put her back!!

Honestly, it's not fair on her. If she always slept in her own bed, no bother - but you can't do this to her, it's far too confusing. Have your cuddle and take her back to her own bed.

oh :( i agree with chipping sorry

I would have done what you are doing, tbh.

Do what is right for who?

This child has just spent 2 weeks being 'sleep trained' as her parents have decided they no longer want to co-sleep (no doubt as the next one is due) - so the poor mite has had to get used to that, then just because her Mum fancies it she's taken her into her bed. The child is 18 months old. She needs consistency otherwise she'll never understand what's going on then when she cries to be allowed back in the bed she's always slept in, she'll be told she's a big girl now and needs to sleep in her own bed... until Mummy is lonely and wants her in her bed....

It is selfish.

Oooo - my heart agrees with ddubs but my head agrees with ChippingIn.

Hope you feel better soon though .

LineRunner - after co-sleeping for 18 months then 'sleep training' for two weeks? You think it's fair to 'sleep train' for two weeks, upset the child, make it sleep in its own bed in another room because after 18 months you want it to - then because you are cold/lonely/fed up bring it back into the family bed - then start the whole process again when Daddy is wanting his bed back>?

It's just selfish, sorry, but it is. No matter how lovely it is to occasionally sleep with them, you have to put them first and not confuse them :(

Does this mean you've relented on the sleep training? If so, YANBU.

No better way to stop feeling like a 'donkey's arse' than by cuddling up to a peacefully snoring baby turning to toddler child. Hold on, cuddle and kiss, make it worth the mental Indecision and the agony it brings. Comfort is a concept to be taught and learnt. If dc brings comfort - great. Give it right back when she needs it. No hard rules here
DS now 19 mo has always slept in his cot. But, when he is ill/ sick/ grizzly - dh gets turfed out And DS and I cuddle in bed and when he is fine he is back in the cot.
Get better soon op!

Crikey, Chipping. I'm not suggesting the overthrow of civil rule in Surbiton.

I'm just being me.

Yes chipping I know I'm
Being selfish. But I didn't even have a hint of morning sickness with previous pregnancy it has come as a massive shock to feel this poorly and useless. I have barely spent any time with dd with week. And now I potentially have another 24 hours in hospital away from her. Miss her so much and feel so guilty that she is being pushed out because of another pregnancy. If I had know I would be this Ill we would have put it off for another few years.

I will return her to her room soon.

Oh gawd, not the end of the world. Not cruel. And I've have probably done the same. Selfish? Kinda. But in the nicest kinda way!

I think you need to do what feels right for you and her at this time.
It's an opportunity for the two of you to have a lovely cuddle and reconnect.
Spend time with your child.
They are adaptable.

Well said, thingiebob.

Amazed and amused at the big overreaction at a toddler spending a night cuddling in her mama's bed.

I'm sure she'll survive and her parents will manage to figure out between them a way to get her back sleeping in her own bed before she's 12, without leaving her irrevocably confused.

Enjoy the snuggles and breathe her in deeply, OP :)

Agree that after 2 weeks of sleep training you will confuse her. Was it hard up get her in her own room? I sort of wish my dd would co-sleep. Currently in her room cuddling her and it's freezing.

Quit - how are you feeling today? It is horrible to feel so ill and horrible to feel so crap when you haven't spent time with them when they are so small. It's amazing how different pregnancies can be isn't it. You have to remember, she's so little she wont remember what it was like when you were pregnant :)

Onehand - it is not a 'big overreaction at a toddler spending a night cuddling in her mama's (bleurgh) bed'. No problem at all for a toddler to spend a night in her Mum's bed, none. Every problem when it's a toddler who has just spent two tough weeks learning that she needs to be a big girl and sleep in her own bed, in her own room, because that's what her Mum & Dad need now - you can't just whip them back into your bed because you want them there, it's selfish. You have to get them settled into sleeping on their own, in their own bed and that being the norm. In time when it's the norm, then no problem at all for her to spend the odd night in her Mum's bed. She's a tiny tot and needs consistency to understand the world.

I think its fair to have her in with you in response to her needs -when she fells unwell/unsettled/scared. But not moving her out and in, in response to your needs, which she can't understand. Or telling her one thing and doing another. Thats hugely confusing and can feel like a reward/punishment scenario to them.

I popped her back in at 5am and she was none the wiser that she had ever played musical beds whilst sleeping.

Went down without a fuss tonight.

We have moved her straight from co sleeping to toddler bed and so far the first 2 weeks has gone perfectly albeit a couple of early starts the first few mornings. So I think no harm done last night.

I on the other hand am no better. I did have to spend the day on the ward on a drip but thankfully was allowed home this evening on strict instructions to take a urine sample to nurse at surgery in morning to check for ketones or I'll be back in.

I never really understood hyperemesis before. I always thought it was what wimpy women who had never had a truly horrific hangover called morning sickness

That sounds great.

Sorry about the hyperemesis. I had pregnancy sickness with DCs and that was bad enough.

Hope you are ok.

Not remotely unreasonable, do it as much and as often as you want. Hope the hyperemesis eases soon, I had constant nausea with DS2 and that was absolutely horrible. You have to do whatever soothes.

Good Mummy :)

Hyperemesis sounds absolutely fucking awful :( People who say 'You are pregnant, not ill' clearly never had it.

When are you due?