To wonder if this CM was having a bad day?

[BBisBBack]

Firstly let me say this is not a CM bashing thread or anything like that. I was at soft play with my DS 2.3 and his friend and her mum. The soft play we were at is small ish and ue to its location quite quiet (this is why I like it!!) it has seating between the areas for play and is split levelled. We were there during toddler time as were a few others one of whom turned out to be a childminder. Said CM had three mindees with her between about 2-4. Mysel and friend were letting dcs wander as they can quite happily access all area of downstairs play area and still be in view. Cm is ypstairs with youngest child oldest child is going between the two levels via slide. Middle mindee (id guess 3 ish) proceeds to go to toilet unaided. Apparently gets stuck therein. Is discovered some time later by another parent who alerts cm (hence knowing cm is cm
Not parent, asked child where mummy was she said at work but x looks after me and she is upstairs) parent then asists child back to cm. cm then storms towards OUR table and says "you obviously could hear X calling for help I cant believe you didnt go in to her"

Now excuse me but AIBU for thinking I disnt deserve a telling off?! As : I nor my froend heard the little girl calling for help, we were talking to each other and supervising the kids. AND moreover the child was not my responsibility?! I would have obviously helped If id heard her but still im a bit shocked by her attitude and If she were my dcs carer id be annoyed as child was clearly out of sight for some time?! Maybe she was just having an off day but I resented her berating me and mores her tone upset the kids ( raised voices)

I have read your post three times now and cannot see why she selected you to give a telling off to. Was it your positioning of where you were in relation to the loo?

Sorry for typos on phone, should add our table was near the loo, and whilst I registered vaguely the little girl going in to the loo i didnt really think to watch her come out...

Sounds like she knew she was at fault and was just trying to lash out and blame someone else.

Sorry nicknack but tbh i did state i wasnt bashing CMs so the whole thing is pretty juvenile. I stated she was a CM as I just wouldn't expect someone who was working to act like that. I wouldnt Act like that in my place of work.

You asked if you were being unreasonable to think that the childminder was having a bad day. She may or may not have been having a bad day, thus YANBU in respect of the AIBU question you asked.

If your question is AIBU for getting pissed off that another person raised her voice at you for not looking out for the child in her care, then - well, what do you think?? If for a moment you think that is NOT unreasonable, then you are peculiar. So, all in all you are asking obvious questions that in my opinion do not warrant an AIBU post.

If what you wanted to do was vent and rant, then feel free to do so. YANBU to want to rant about being unreasonably challenged regarding the care of a child that was not your responsibility.

Im sorry you think i ABU for posting in AIBU... I was genuinely interested in whether people would agree with the CM along the lines of village to raise a child line, i.e in an area where children are playing should we have been vigilant about the ones near us. Perhaps I put that across badly. I wasn't to phased by her slight rant as i was likening it to that feeling you get for the split second you loose sight of your child in a setting etc. I also wondered if this was the type of thing that put people off CM as a care provider, it is one of the reasons I wouldnt use a CM and just wondered again if that was unreasonable as all CMs differ.

Thought this was NOT a CM bashing thread???

"I also wondered if this was the type of thing that put people off CM as a care provider, it is one of the reasons I wouldnt use a CM and just wondered again if that was unreasonable as all CMs differ."

And of COURSE it is bloody unreasonable because OF COURSE all CMs differ.

YANBU. I am fed up seeing small children left unattended whether at softplay, playpark or at mums and toddlers. I am constantly wiping noses, giving cuddles and/or drying tears whilst some other mums or carers are outside having a fag.

It's nice to catch up with friends for a chat or whatever but you should still maintain responsibility for your charges.

My CM, on the other hand, is wonderful. She has eyes in the back of her head and knows what all of her mindees are up to at any one time.

Bloody hell! this is the most belligerent I have ever been on MN!! OP, of course you are not being unreasonable to expect CMs to look after their charges themselves and of course you have every right to be upset if a CM blasts you for not keeping on eye on their children!

I would certainly not do that if I was out with mine and CMs like that give others a really bad name and make it terribly difficult to be out without being watched - then again, we are encouraged to go out so that we can be seen to providing good, loving care to the children in our care.

She may well have been having a bad day. Childminding is not easy and it has reduced me to tears on more than one occasion. There are some appalling childminders though, and there are some that are human and have bad days. For all we know that CM found out last night that her husband was having an affair, or her mother was dying, or her bank was foreclosing on the house. Anything could be going on in her life.

BUT: the children come first. So she most certainly should have been more circumspect in how she dealt with you, and the children in her care.

CMs on the whole are okay. And, OP, on the whole, YANBU.

You should have told her to piss off and mind her own bloody charges.