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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that 'Claire's' pierce babies ears...

150 replies

ConstantlyFrazzled · 01/02/2012 14:53

.... right in the main window for everyone to see... Sad

I hate to think of little babies having painful things done to them that they have not consented to, need or asked for. I know ear piercing isn't the end of the world, but I was really upset to see a baby today sitting on her mother's lap being held still, about to be 'pierced' for the sake of 'beauty'. Seconds later the baby did of course scream out in pain and cry, and I have to admit I felt extremely angry and upset for her sake Sad.

Am I being unreasonable to think that a child should be old enough to consent to have their ears pierced or is it right to allow parents to make this decision?

I would like to see 'Claire's' setting a minimum age for ear piercing - am I being unreasonable to suggest that?

OP posts:
PosieParker · 01/02/2012 18:03

Yuck, looks hideous whatever the culture.

Aribura · 01/02/2012 18:03

The argument that it's all good because it's "better doing it now than when they're older" is dump. There is no guarantee they will even want their ears pierced when they're older in the first place. I have a phobia of jewellery, piercings etc. I know that sounds crazy, but that's how it is. Had I holes in my ears (which I likely would, having had it so young, they don't always close up especially in babies) then I would certainly look into having this fixed somehow.

Please, don't make a choice like this for your infants. I know it seems like every girl would want her ears pierced at some point so why not do it, but they really don't.

Kayano · 01/02/2012 18:24

If my child asks for her ears pierced and she is older than 4 or 5 I will take her.

I wouldn't do it to a baby.

And an upper age limit of 12 would make me pissed.

MildlyNarkyPuffin · 01/02/2012 18:31

Why stop at ears?

Feminine · 01/02/2012 18:38

Aribura to be fair,your phobia is pretty unusual.

If done in a sterile and safe environment, I think its alright and up to the parents concerned.

I don't think Claires (in the UK) is the right place.

They are much more stringent here in the US, that makes all the difference.

Its not (to me) that much of a big deal if others do it.

They are not all cruel , nasty people.

For some cultures, it is the norm.

giveitago · 01/02/2012 19:31

I had mine done when I was young - something like 4 years old. I do remember it. I think my mum had it done because the family were laughing that I was so old with no earrings. It wasn't done with a gun but with some sort of pincer thing. Then I had cotton through them for a while and then progressed to earrings. I'm personally pleased she did that for me so I didn't have to go through that whole rites of passage my friends did.

Really no bloody big deal. But it's clearly a cultural issue and not 'poor kid' one. Back in my day I was the only kid with ear piercings. My friends parents didn't class us as chavs at all but at the same time their kids were expected to wait until about 15 or 16. Now it seems the 'norm' for being allowed to have it done is younger.

I've seen so many threads about this and it's all about 'abuse' 'chavs' etc. So different from the usual middle class multiculturalism and world knowlege on here!

Having said that who'd let a baby have that done in Clare's - now that is chavvy and probably quite dangerous. You'd want to be in a place with clinically clean conditions like a doctor's surgery or similar.

Not sure if a legal age here is really necessary but possibly about where it can be done? I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that new mums in hospital in spain could get their babies ears pierces by the nurses? Is that true? If so, isn't that a good place to get ears pierced?

Bah - one of those threads where people won't agree but will just show their class/culture hatred.

WorraLiberty · 01/02/2012 19:41

giveitago Are you suggesting that someone who thinks piercing a baby's ears is plain wrong, should suddenly think otherwise just because someone says it's cultural? Confused

It has nothing to do with class/culture hatred.

You either think it's ok to pierce holes in babies in order to decorate them or you don't.

thepeoplesprincess · 01/02/2012 19:44

YANBU. Also agree that if a parent really feels that they must do it, getting it done by a Saturday girl in Claire's with a gun is possibly the worst way to do so.

I had my tragus done recently by a proper piercer using a needle. I've had more discomfort from squeezing spots Grin

wigglesrock · 01/02/2012 19:45

Claires does have an age limit - its four months. I was there in December with my dd1 filling in her consent form and I noticed it.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 01/02/2012 19:46

i understand its culturally acceptable in indopak and african countries for example, but we are in the uk where it is seen as abnormal. im of an asian background ive seen young babies from my mothers native land with their ears peirced, and to be honest i find it strange. it reminds me of those pushy mums who put their tots into beauty pageants. i remember asking my mum why those mums got their babies pierced why not wait. she said they don't get the sanitised less painful methods of piercing in her country, its a hot needle.....perhaps thats why they do ther babies ears when they are very young, to avoid the pain as teens. But in the uk parents can wait. i think its an unecessary form of beautification for babies, but so are heels for toddlers and bras for pubescent kids, some parents do 't see the harm in them, every has their own idea of what is right and wrong, i don't think we can change that, unless laws are enforced. i remember david cameron saying he was going to regulate high st stores that are selling sexually inappropriate clothing for toddlers and teenybops, i take it nothing has happened all talk?

Feminine · 01/02/2012 19:50

worra but if it is a cultural thing, I don't think anyone else should 'go there'

Who appoints us , (who don't pierce) as correct?

All 'classes' do it here.

Lots of very ordinary folk.

Just because I don't do it, doesn't make me right.

WorraLiberty · 01/02/2012 19:52

I know this is a really random thought, but I wonder why you never see a baby with its eyebrow pierced?

Is it illegal but ears are not?

WorraLiberty · 01/02/2012 19:54

worra but if it is a cultural thing, I don't think anyone else should 'go there

Why not?

Culture isn't something that's necessarily forced upon a person so imo, a mother poking holes in her baby's ears for cultural reasons, is no different for a mother poking holes in her baby's ears for her own reasons.

Either way, the baby is still having holes poke in it and bits of 'pretty' metal shoved in to decorate them.

If I think it's wrong for one reason then I'm not going to think it's right for another.

Feminine · 01/02/2012 19:55

worra , do you really not know?

The ear lobe contains no nerve endings for a start...

Although I am sure someone will come along to tell me their ear exploded, most ear piercings^ go very normally.

Eyebrows? not so much.

Strawberrytallcake · 01/02/2012 19:56

It is Chav-tastic!

WorraLiberty · 01/02/2012 19:56

No honestly, I didn't know...but I did warn it was a random question Grin Blush

OhdearNigel · 01/02/2012 19:58

"Bah - one of those threads where people won't agree but will just show their class/culture hatred."

Ah, so now thinking that mutilating a baby's ears is wrong = racist Hmm

PopcornBiscuit · 01/02/2012 19:59

YANBU. It's not a cultural tradition in this country.

giveitago · 01/02/2012 20:01

Again - people just have their views. I have to say that if I had a baby girl i'd be hesitant to have it done in part because I cannot bear to see a young child cry but also because of the strength of disapproval in this country.

Also gotta say that the strength of disapproval was not there when I was young. But it's here now. For sure.

And it is cultural as we're talking about ears, not nose piercings and not not eyebrow piercings or belly piercings etc. many of which are very british things these days and so commonplace. Same goes for tatoos I suppose - I'm just amazed and impressed when I see a tattoo free person as it looks so different!

blonderthanred · 01/02/2012 20:06

My mum made me have mine done at 11 as a 'reward' for starting secondary school because she wanted hers done and was too chicken to do it alone. My friends all had to persuade their parents for years.

Babies though? Yanbu.

Feminine · 01/02/2012 20:09

popcorn Confused

It might not be the culture in the UK, but other cultures do live there too.

PopcornBiscuit · 01/02/2012 20:18

Other cultural procedures which are painful/harmful are banned in this country though. Why not this?

suebfg · 01/02/2012 20:22

YANBU - babies/children shouldn't have their ears pierced. It should only happen when a person is old enough to make that decision for his or herself.

Feminine · 01/02/2012 20:25

That is a good point popcorn

However, I don't think ear piercing is all that painful nor harmful.

Sure, the babies cry (one reason I don't do it) but its over very quickly.

I still believe if done properly , if you want it , its fine.

I think its because I know lots of 'ordinary' families that do it.

Apparently some babies don't even cry.

It is done very well here though, at the Doctor or trained ladies at Wal-mart.

Never seen a baby being held down or screaming anywhere.

PopcornBiscuit · 01/02/2012 20:28

That's incorrect, it does contain them.

"The ear lobe contains no nerve endings for a start"

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