Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want DH to post on my FB?

29 replies

GiserableMitt · 01/02/2012 10:48

For my birthday?

He's not here, been away for weeks and weeks and all I've had is one text.

Sufficient? Or would you expect him to at least say a "public" HB on Facebook?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/02/2012 10:52

Why? Wouldn't it be nicer for him to ring you if he can't be with you? Why does it need to be 'public'?

PostBellumBugsy · 01/02/2012 10:54

Is he usually quite chatty with you on FB? Would you expect him to post on there?

If you had asked send me flowers, a card etc - then it would be an easier one to answer.

Thingumy · 01/02/2012 10:55

No.I'd rather have a personal call TO ME.

Is it more important that everyone on your fb reads your DH's birthday message?

BupcakesandCunting · 01/02/2012 10:55

I would be pissed of at no phone-call but not so much at no Facebook message.

Original poster
GiserableMitt · 01/02/2012 10:55

Time difference makes it difficult to talk, we don't talk more than once a week.

Out of the messages I received I thought it might be nice for one of them to be from DH..

I could be U because I'm wallowing in self-pity because of having flu since Saturday. :o and I did have a moment when I realised that this is the first time in over 40 years that I won'r get a card from my grandmother

OP posts:
scuzy · 01/02/2012 10:56

why cant anything happen these days without a facebook update???!!!

sigh

Original poster
GiserableMitt · 01/02/2012 10:56

No, he's a FB lurker lol!

OP posts:
OnlyANinja · 01/02/2012 10:56

YABU

Facebook birthday messages don't mean "I thought of you", they mean "I turned on Facebook and it told me to say Happy Birthday".

If he is going to spend 2 minutes making a birthday gesture it should be something more personal.

Thingumy · 01/02/2012 10:57

My dh deleted me off his FB as I annoyed him on there no change there then

Does that help you feel better OP? Grin

PostBellumBugsy · 01/02/2012 10:58

Sorry about your grandmother and Happy Birthday.

I hope he does get a chance to phone you, because there is no time difference big enough that should prevent a birthday phone call.

MsVestibule · 01/02/2012 11:00

No, forget FB - I'd actually be offended if close friends and family said HB to me on that, rather than phone or send a card! But if it is possible to talk, however difficult the time difference, he should make the effort on your birthday. Did you get a card?

Newmummytobe79 · 01/02/2012 11:01

This isnt about facebook is it?

I'm ill so you have my sympathies - I too am over annalysing things! Grin

Firstly, happy birthday! and I'm sorry about your Grandmother :(

Text him back and arrange a time to talk. Today. You should speak to your husband on your birthday.

Have a lovely day :)

mojitomania · 01/02/2012 11:01

Oh dear OP, poor you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Wine.

My DP has me on facebook and never talks to me either, mind you ditto Grin

Fo0ffyShmo0ffer · 01/02/2012 11:02

I don't think you are being unreasonable if what you mean is that since there is little to no chance of a call or text then the very LEAST he could have down was stuck a Happy Birthday on FB. I understand that.

However, I wouldn't be too upset or disappointed if he isn't actually given to posting on FB in the first place. Have a lovely birthday. You never know, there's time for a message yet.

Original poster
GiserableMitt · 01/02/2012 11:03

Actually Thingumy, it does :)

You're right, I'm being a tit. FB isn't the be and all end all. a fucking card might have been nice though

I'm off to buy wine. That should help. Thanks for the perspective.

OP posts:
nizlopi · 01/02/2012 11:03

Lol. Husband? This sounds like a 14 year old boyfriend problem to me.

MrsHoarder · 01/02/2012 11:10

Husband talking to you on facebook? I'd rather have something private: be miffed that he hasn't sent you a nice card or at least a long email to read at your lesuire if he really can't ring you! But I don't really want to communicate with my DH via a public space..

Get some chocolate to have with your wine too!

sozzledchops · 01/02/2012 11:10

wouldn't bother me at all, in fact i think it would be a bit strange, but then i defriended husband in a huff when he put an embarrassing video clip of me on his wall. Then realised I can't keep an eye on him now.

PostBellumBugsy · 01/02/2012 11:12

Aw Giserable, please tell us that he has organised something for you for your birthday?

Original poster
GiserableMitt · 01/02/2012 11:15

"Aw Giserable, please tell us that he has organised something for you for your birthday?"

Nope, been away since the New Year.

OP posts:
Threeprinces · 01/02/2012 11:16

I find it a bit weird when couples talk I each other on Facebook, can they not do real communication. I hate the 'I love you honeybun xxxxx' type thing, smacks of trying to show the world not actually each other. Odd.

So sorry OP, I think YABU to want a public Facebook post but YANBU to expect him to make some sort of effort.

Original poster
GiserableMitt · 01/02/2012 11:26

You're right. I guess FB isn't the crux of the matter as we don't communicate through it - just post on each other's statuses or photos occasionally. It's the lack of ... anything, especially considering he's been away for most of the past 3 months with little time at home.

Someone else said an email would have been nice, and I would have loved him to send me an email but it feels like he cba to take the time to write one.

He said yesterday he'd be on skype all day (we IM, not talk) but he's not been on since last night.

Feeling like crap is muddying the waters. I'm sure I wouldn't be so bothered if I was feeling ok.

OP posts:
scuzy · 01/02/2012 11:39

how old do we have to be before we dont expect anything for our birthdays??

Original poster
GiserableMitt · 01/02/2012 12:14

There's no rule, it's a personal thing. If couples want to acknowledge birthdays then that's up to them, it's not for someone else to say it's right or wrong.

We don't do Valentine's or anniversaries. Not to say anyone who does is wrong.

OP posts:
helpyourself · 01/02/2012 12:18
Thanks

YANBU to want b'day wishes, in any way, from your DH.