...to feel unable to cope with DS any more?

[RubyWho]

DS is 2y2mo old. He has always been "spirited", and a bit of a handful, but over the past few months, everything regarding his 'behaviour' has hit a bit of crescendo. He won't eat; he tells me he is hungry, then when it's lunch time, he screams and cries and throws whatever is in front of him on the floOr/at the walls. I know it's nothing physical stopping him from eating, as he spends one day a week with his GPs and eats like an angel there.
He refuses to nap, and at night wakes every hour or so, and I'm sure he is probably hugely overtired because of his lack of naps in the day.
It just seems like every day is a non-stop scream fest, and yesterday was th worst ever-he just seemed to be tantrumming all day, no matter what we did, or where we went. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, just wanted to scream and scream.
We have a new(ish) baby: DD is 6mo old now. They share a room and his all-night screaming (we do go and calm him down and soothe him) is waking her up. She wakes up if she's in our room, tOo- she's a really light sleeper.

I honestly feel that I cannot go on like this anymore. The screaming, refusal to eat/sleep... I feel beyond exhausted, and at my wits end. DH feels the same, and has admitted to working lOnger hours so he doesn't have to deal with it all. Nice. I would probably do the same, given half a chance.
It's at this point that I seriously want to take the baby, and leave- go and stay with my Mum for a few weeks.
Is it meant to be this hard; are all two year olds like this?

Could he have threadworms? Lots of young children do and they can cause extreme irritability, loss of appetite or increased appetite and night waking. You can easily get rid of them by taking an over the counter medicine, you then need to give all the bedlinen, towels etc a really good wash as the microscopic eggs are very contagious and can cause reinfection. This link explains more: www.hpa.org.uk/Publications/InfectiousDiseases/Factsheets/factThreadWorms/
It's worth thinking about as I have found my children's sleep and behaviour improve dramatically when I have 'wormed' them!

I guessed that shopping, but they're not all like that.

OP might need support and strategies but sweeping generalisations only trivialise her concerns and probably aren't hugely helpful, especially if she knows it isn't true.

ok but I then went on to suggest a range of things that helped when my ds was at a difficult stage. Perhaps you are lucky enough to have a 2 yr old boy who is not grim, I've never met anyone like you in real life though.

Ugh, the past few days have been hellish. He has a cold/cough, and has been waking everytime he coughs, and saying "oh dear, oh dear..."
He has been sleeping in my bed, but requesting HIS bed (but becomes hysterical when he coughs...) but the fact that he's asking for his bed is positive, i feel.

DH and i have decided that when he is over his cold, we are going to borrow a travelcot, and Put DD to sleep in that in the living room (with baby monitor, obviously) whilst we tackle DS' sleep. We are going to try rapid return, and also perhaps a bit of rubbing his back to calm him down rather than calming him by bringing him in with us.

As for his food refusal/tantrums, it is most definitely an attention thing. MIL (who lives two streets away) is going to come in to look after DD for about two hours or so a day so I can really focus on DS; take him swimming etc, which js something I can't do on my own with two!
In any case, I have spoken to my contact at the SLT team about possible ASD, which we will discuss and explore further when I next see her with DS.

Thanks everyone, for your kind words :)

well done. What a great Mil you have. I think that will make such a difference. Rapid return is well worth it as I said earlier but you do both need to commit to it and see it through. No eye contact, no speaking at all was the key to success with it for us. good luck