to only want to invite one of ds's mates at a time

[crazedupmom]

Ds has two best mates at school.
Recently me and the other two moms have arranged occasional get togethers for the three of them at either of our houses although most of the time its been at mine.
I only used to invite one at a time before and it suited me just fine.
I have noticed recently that ds's two mates friendship seems to have become closer and that when the three of them are at mine together that ds just sits playing on his games and the other two seem to be interacting together doing stuff together without ds.
I don,t blame the children at all I am sure that nothing is meant by it.
I just feel that ds is better off having one to one as it seems he then interacts properly.
I do however feel guilty thinking that the other child will be upset or I will cause offence by not inviting them both.
What do you think.

I can understand your point

I think in that case I'd let your DS guide you

If he's happy to have them both then fine...if not then invite them separately but make sure it's 'equal' if you know what I mean.

Well I had them all on a sleepover and ds was engrossed in a xbox game whilst the other two were doing soemthing together and chatting happily.
I said to ds out of their earshot I couldn,t help myself but I said to him why don,t you go and join in with what they are doing.
He said he is happy to just have them there, I however can,t see the point when they are just playing together without him.

I only like having one child at a time over for the same reason, that often someone is left out. I invite one on one day and another on a different day, but I try to do the asking at the same time.

Friendships grow and wane all through life.

If they have always been a threesome and are now splitting into a twosome, you are trying to split the twosome for your own ends.

Why not widen the circle? Or invite three?

Twos company, threes a crowd.

I don't think you need to worry about upsetting the other one.

My ds is in a group of 3 like this and while they all play together when they are here they are very very manic and I got to the point where I had had enough of all of them at once.

I'd still do it if I needed to help one of the other mums out but now its on their own, alternating.

Noone seems to be upset as far as I can see!

Agree with others though that if your ds is happy then I wouldn't necessarily change anything. how about ask,ing him next time when they are not there what he would like? he might actually surprise you and ask another boy altogether!

When DS was about 8 we invited two of his mates around for a sleepover. We gave them our room and laid down a blow up mattress at the foot of the double bed. At bed time DS asked who wanted to sleep with him on the bed. Friend 1 said that he wanted to sleep with Friend 2. You should have seen DS's face collapse. We've never since invited two friends over at the same time.

Switch the Xbox off?

He wouldn't have any choice but to interact with his guests then. Perhaps the other boys don't want to play on the Xbox the whole time and are bored.

Unplug the X-box and have some games/activities ready which they can all take part in.

How old is your ds? My dd is 7 and although we have a wii, ds, tv etc the rule at the moment is that friends are here to play , so unless they are here for a sleepover we don't have them on.

Obv I assume as they get older this gets harder

YANBU
But as others have said ask DS, if he's old enough for sleep overs he's old enough to understand.
Some threesomes work and some don't.
I refused to invite one convenient 3 some because they just kept swapping pairings moaning and being a total pain, but they are girls. I get the feeling girls are much worse at taking offence.