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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have said this to my 3 year old?

22 replies

badmumalert · 31/01/2012 22:05

My DS is being naughty for the fun of it at the moment. When I say 'at the moment' I mean for half his life, at least when he is with me rather than at nursery or when DH is in. No sanctions make any difference. I have tried carrot, stick and indifference.

Anyway, today the final straw broke this camel's back and I told him to fill his boots because 'tomorrow your new parents are coming to collect you; only children who want to behave can live here'. He was pretty non-plussed by it all to be honest which on one hand was good because he didn't take it seriously but perhaps one day he'll be in therapy talking about it.

I know I am now the #1 worst mum for saying it.

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 31/01/2012 22:06

He's not going to remember it. But if it becomes thd norm for you to say things like that, yup, therapy beckons.

BikeRunSki · 31/01/2012 22:07

Sounds like the kind of thing I would say to my 3yo DS ! And worse.... don't worry.

xxmush1983xx · 31/01/2012 22:09

Lol, I use the "jaggy jersey home is coming for you", when I am really pushed by them. We are only human, and children seem to know instinctively that you will not give them away :)

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 22:10
Grin

I still remember my mum dragging me to the telephone box when I was about 7.. (we didnt have a house phone), saying she was ringing the childrens home as she had had enough of me..

I begged her not to... she didnt (of course!).. and I think I behaved nicely for at least another two days.... (I was a brat at times!)

I didnt need therapy, I still find it quite amusing... although at the time I did think she might do it... I knew I had been very bad.

lagrandissima · 31/01/2012 22:12

Sounds like a normal 3 year old. I once threatened to send DS1 (6) and DS2 (4) to boarding school. They asked me not to say it again. Luckily for them, we're not in that income bracket Grin.

hiddenhome · 31/01/2012 22:13

I think I've threatened mine with ebay before Grin

It might be best to change your tactics though otherwise he might start to believe you Confused

A woman once babysat me when I was about 4. I can remember her telling me that if I went to bed (I was tired), then she'd leave me alone in the house. I felt scared and believed her and had to stay up Sad

MoaningMinnieWhingesAgain · 31/01/2012 22:14

DD (4) has told me she is never going to speak to me again. I asked her if we could start right now please. Grin She doesn't stop for breath, witters on all day, every day.

lagrandissima · 31/01/2012 22:16

Hiddenhome - freaky babysitter - yikes!

flibbertywidget · 31/01/2012 22:17

and you are worried about what exactly?? don't over think it. Kids push buttons, especially at that age. We would not be human if we didn't say things we don't mean sometimes. Perhaps explaining it to him and helping him understand why at some point may be worthwhile, but not sure if a 3 yr OLD ds will care.

give yourself a hug and tell yourself it was a bad day. As much as I adore mine there are times when they would try the patience of a saint!

aldiwhore · 31/01/2012 22:18

If he doesn't give a shit now, don't think it won't damage his confidence in the future.

I know that when you've tried everything, you resort to saying things for shock affect, done it myself, but it does not work.

When my 4 yr old just started blinking at me and carrying on regardless of MY behaviour I thought there must be something wrong with him... there isn't. We're simply very close and at present his confidence comes from knowing I love him really (much as a sibling will be horrible and forgiven instantly) but it certainly didn't make things better. There's no use thinking "well why is he respectful to his dad - and me when I'm with dad - and not me?" its a different dynamic.

What's helped was using (for me) the procedures that his pre-school have... much as I hated the fact, he was an ANGEL at pre-school.

We're still extremely close (you know the saying 'cut from the same cloth' well we are) but now because of (previously disliked) formal, repetitive procedures, we built respect as parent and child. We still get all the good bits of being so tight together, but there are firm boundaries that don't involved threats, shouting, unhappiness... its simple cause and affect.

Oh I still use the 'Santa won't visit' line... but these days, there's less need for it. Its bloody hard work, and it sometimes feels unfair (I'd rather have a debate yawn) but he gets three chances then its time out, no sticker, no treat, etc etc etc...

Harsh but fair but friendly. good luck!!

aldiwhore · 31/01/2012 22:19

Crikey Hidden if I was that babysitter I'd have probably threatened the opposite "GO to bed or I'll get a freaky babysitter in!" x

rhondajean · 31/01/2012 22:19

I often mention eBay.

My mother used to say the hospital gave her wrong baby, she should have had the big blond boy in the next bed, and she'd swap me back.

Her dad used to tell her he'd sell her to the gypsies.

So I like to think over generations parenting is improving as I mutter " I'd eBay you if only they took items with DNA"...

Arachnophobic · 31/01/2012 22:23

Sometimes I tell my DS (3.9) that if he doesn't behave I am going to phone the child catcher (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang).

Works every time.

Arachnophobic · 31/01/2012 22:23

Forgot the Blush emoticon after my first line.

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 22:25

The problem these days is, as soon as they are about 8, you wont be threatening them with anything... because if you do, they will be threatening you with ringing Childline... Wink

hiddenhome · 31/01/2012 22:27

She came from a reputable agency that my mum and dad used. I think she knew I was tired and was just tormenting me.

I always seem to cop it from these people Hmm Dunno what's wrong with me Confused

Original poster
badmumalert · 31/01/2012 23:02

I thought I was going to be flamed!

If he carries on tomorrow I'm getting a suitcase out...

OP posts:
Visitor57 · 01/02/2012 00:11

Well my three year old is getting a new mammy and she will be nice!

Wonder if I will need therapy?

iceandsliceplease · 01/02/2012 00:21

I can very clearly remember my parents telling me they were going to take me back to the shop and get a new daughter. I told them that actually I was going to go to the Mum & Dad Shop and buy new parents. I had a very clear picture in my head of what the shop would look like - clones of my parents, but with different, better personalities. I even knew which shop in Norwich I should go to (Davey Place, was the Start-Rite shop, now empty).

I was three.

Fo0ffyShmo0ffer · 01/02/2012 00:26

We were threatened with Ginny Greenteeth and Biddy the Knackerwoman Hmm. We were to be sent to them in the house where the naughty children go.

I don't know but "your new parents" is quite personal. I'd have been devastated at that. If he didn't take you seriously then that's good.

missingmumxox · 01/02/2012 00:32

no flaming I said something like this daily when they where 3 and they said awesome! can we live with the fairies? Phfuuft.
I have thou kept all the receipts from the IVF clinic, which I intend to present to them on their 18th with a easy repayment plan Grin ....what?? it was a 2 for 1 offer they just need to work out which one gets the BOGOF! and that 1 will save me one set of uni fees, not that I will be encouraging that type of thing :)

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/02/2012 07:05

I tell my 11yo that 'he's not too big to be put up for adoption' occasionally. In a loving way, of course Wink

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