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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

should i wake my sleeping child to meet friends for lunch?

18 replies

chocolic · 31/01/2012 20:25

one of my friends invited me and another mum to go for lunch for her b'day. they wanted to meet 12 noon which I explained a bit difficult as playgroup then my child's nap (explained by email).
B'day girl ignored my email so I replied that I'd try and leave playgroup early then.
Day comes and I leave early but by 11.45 son still napping. Texted friends but no reply. So I wake son and take him by pram to restaurant.
Friends weren't there! Tried ringing a few times finally get through and one says that she's late as her son was napping and that the other would be late as getting her son from nursery!
Finally they arrived at 12.45. I had got so fed up waiting I ordered food for myself and baby (he was starving). Ds at least got his early but when they arrived waitress asked if we all wanted it to come together and I ended up agreeing so I was very hungry too.
Birthday girl offered no excuse (she arrived last) and the other just say "oh son had nap and she couldn't wake him" i.e. she didn't want to.
I felt a bit pissed off that I had made such an effort to get there on time!!

So, is it just the done thing to never wake your baby (I was worried if I didn't that we might miss lunch altogether if they were both there at 12).

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolic · 31/01/2012 20:25

ps. babies are all around 13mths.

OP posts:
BsshBossh · 31/01/2012 20:34

Could you have settled your son in the pram for his nap then it wouldn't have mattered if he was still asleep whilst you ate lunch?

Original poster
chocolic · 31/01/2012 20:37

Son started nap in car then transfered to cot. Moving to pram (sitting up) would definitely wake him.
Couldn't get back from playgroup by pram as too far.

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 31/01/2012 20:38

I never woke my sleeping baby, but I would have let everyone know if I was going to be late. I would have been a bit cheesed off in your shoes after that effort, so YANBU imo.

awomenscorned · 31/01/2012 22:38

God MN is boring at the moment. Hmm

smithereenies · 31/01/2012 23:01

awomenscorned Grin... i imagine you could have just told them you'd be late, end of.....

awomenscorned · 31/01/2012 23:03

Dunno, to bored by the thread to give a flying fuck. Wink

aldiwhore · 31/01/2012 23:09

A simple yes or no to the email would have been enough.

They probably were late to make the point that 12noon wasn't okay because of a sleeping 13months old was a bit lame really... they made their argument by arriving late and blaming nap time.

Yes you can wake sleeping children. It will not damage them. In fact I'm of the school of thought that a completely rigid routine has a negative affect on the whole family rather than a positve affect, it certainly won't set them up for life, nor is it needed.

aldiwhore · 31/01/2012 23:10

Also, why weren't you late if it was so difficult?

I'm afraid I would be the one with the evil laugh as I rolled up at a time you implied was better.

AND... what's wrong with a phone?

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 23:13

None of my friends have EVER let their sleeping child put a stop to their daily life.. if the kid is asleep, they put him into his buggy or car seat and take him out, if he wakes up, he wakes up. Nine times out of ten, every child I know sleeps right though it.

Bogeyface · 01/02/2012 00:22

I learnt many years ago to make the most of a child sleeping so no, I wouldnt wake them.

I would be more annoyed at ignored emails and messages. How bloody rude!

If they invite you out again make the point that you will arrive when you arrive, just as they did, and you hope that they will check their phones this time!

nicknamenotinuse · 01/02/2012 06:29

If you had to collect another of your children from play school/nursery etc. on a half day, which I have to do every day with a baby, would you ask the play school to move the time they finish to accommodate your sleeping baby? Come on, get a grip. Do not let a sleeping baby rule you, sometimes you have no choice.

Wallace · 01/02/2012 06:44

If I have arranged to meet someone I will always wake a baby/toddler to be there on time.

It really annoys me when people dont when they have made an arrangement. Unless they contact me with heaps of time to spare to rearrange because the baby/they really need the rest.

jubilee10 · 01/02/2012 06:53

I would have done exactly what you did - but - I wouldn't do it again for these friends.

callmemrs · 01/02/2012 07:06

I think it's a bad idea to let your life be dictated by 'nap time'. How do these people cope if they have another child whose nap times don't coincide? Or when they return to work? All sounds very PFB to me- yawn

Original poster
chocolic · 01/02/2012 11:23

ok thanks everyone.

and those who were bored - you did't have to comment - I find loads of threads boring just don't read or comment.

OP posts:
KD0706 · 01/02/2012 11:59

If I'd been in your position I probably would have let DD sleep till about twelve then woken her, so would have been a little late but not horrendously so. And it would have given DD a slightly longer nap. I would have texted friends to let them know I was running late.

Your friends were very rude. I would have been temped to just walk out. I certainly wouldn't put myself out for them again if I were you.

awomenscorned · 01/02/2012 12:07

Hands grip to op.

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