To think that the media normalises Divorce/Separation?

[Allthesanityinme]

Noticed on my MSN homepage the other day that there were lots of articles about various famous couples who had split up. There was even a gallery on there recently of recently separated couples. AIBU to wonder who wants to read so much about this topic and also to think that it could be slightly damaging eg Children may be concerned that their parents will split up, Couples may be less likely to work on difficulties in their relationship as separation just seems the norm, Couples may be less likely to marry as marriages just don't seem to last?

But it is normal, when it comes to marriages and long-term relationships combined more separate than stay together. It may not be ideal for the children but in a lot of cases it is better than parents in an unhappy relationship.

maybe that's because it's normal

is there something abnormal about it ?

it's a fact of life for up to 1 in 3 marriages (or whatever the stats are at this snapshot moment in time)

I know that a lot of relationships do end and that sometimes it is better for children to have happy separated parents than unhappy together parents. I just don't understand why the media is so interested in 'celebrating' these break-ups? Are we susposed to read these articles whilst being smug about our own sucessful relationships?

I don't understand celebrity watching at all whatever it is they are meant to be up to so I can't be much help there.

I think maybe there is an odd pleasure that (some) people get from seeing the 'mighty' fall, hence all the weight-gain, drunken stumbling about and plastic surgery stuff.

I doubt reading about divorce will encourage happy couples to split. I don't know a single divorcee who has left a marriage without trying her hardest & putting up with more than any person rightly should.

I'm actually relieved in a way that divorce is now considered normal, being a social pariah & worse watching ones children ostracised for having escaped a horrendous, abusive marriage would absolutely kill me.

I never got married dreaming it would end in divorce I never thought my children would have to be protected from their father...

Life has a habit of not going to plan, at least I live in a society that accepts me despite the biggest failure of my life.

Oh fuck off, it's not like it's not shit enough being divorced when you'd hoped to have a life-long relationship and still be together when you were old and having your grandkids come to visit instead of secretly posting on here about whether they should ask stepmum to wedding and where she should sit, and still have your own home which you then can't afford when single, etc etc that 'the media' pretending it's funfunfun is hardly going to make a sodding difference to anyone sane. Just because some millionnaires can get divorced like that doesn't mean anyone else thinks they can- see also 'why does the media normalise owning yachts/going on holiday to barbados/owning a prada handbag/whatever'- normal people know their lives are not the same as that unless they are already so mad they're unlikely to be able to sustain a relationship.

I am utterly sick of all the married people on here pretending they're victimised in some way; you're all bloody lucky to have a supportive, useful, caring partner so stop rubbing it in the faces of those of us who are less fortunate. (And yes, it is pure luck, not anything amazing about married people that divorced/single people don't have- you're no better than us).

The media's reporting on celebrity life covers everything to what their newest film, song, show is right the way down to whether they have cankles, bad eye make up, sweaty armpits, hairy toes etc etc.

I think their love lives or divorces are just another thing for the media to focus on and spin.

I don't think the media 'normalises' divorce, as everyday men and women get divorces too and have been doing do since before there was a big celebrity culture.

I can sort of see your point, OP. But I think you might rub people up the wrong way by saying it in those words.

Wibbly I don't think that its really neccesary to tell me to 'Fuck off'. I'm sorry that you feel this way but for the record I am single and I am not judging divorced/separated people at all but just the media.

OddBoots I agree I don't see the obsession with celebrities in general but I think I can understand a bit more why people want to read about celebs having babies/getting married than splitting up. I think you are right that there is an element of wanting to see others fail, which is a bit distasteful imo.

Fuzzy you do make a good point, it is better for divorcees and single parents to be normalised rather than treated as social oddities. Just not sure if it is always done in the right way be the media.

blimey, wibbly...a nerve well and truly stuck there

are you ok, love ?

Divorce is much more socially acceptable nowadays. Gone are the days when women had no choice but to put up with shit lives because of the social stigma of being a divorcee. Thank god.

Gossip columns have been around for decades, it isnt a new thing for the media to go into overdrive about divorce and the break up of marriages of people in the public eye. Before the internet, celebs did manage to keep their private lives a bit more private though, and saved their biographies for writing towards the end of their lives, not in their 20's or 30's.

Its a shame when a relationship breaks down, and it is sad for those involved, but if you crave being in the public eye, then your dirty washing gets washed in public too.

for it could be slightly damaging eg Children may be concerned that their parents will split up

a) yes, let's reform the media on the basis of a frankly tendentious idea that some child somewhere might look at a magazine cover in a queue at Tesco and feel sad

b) any child getting relationship ideas from Heat is already 'damaged' anyway

ffs

wow my first biscuit eek. I would agree with you Revolting if it was just Heat, Closer etc but it seems to be much more mainstream that this. As I mentioned in my OP it was an MSN homepage that shocked me and these stories also appear on the radio on fairly mainstream stations such as Heart. And the same coverage isn't given to couples who work really hard on staying together, working through difficulties, presumably because it isn't as exciting, but still stories worth telling.

Looking back I think that 'normalising' was probably the wrong word to use, perhaps 'constantly putting it in our face', 'celebrating divorce/separation' would have been better words to use. Apologies if anyone has been offended.

And the same coverage isn't given to couples who work really hard on staying together, working through difficulties, presumably because it isn't as exciting, but still stories worth telling

Probably because those couple dont go running to the media, or have their publicity team "leaking" stories at every opportunity.

well tbf I do celebrate divorce. It may have some nasty side effects but coming from a country where it has only relatively recently become legalised and "normalised" it most certainly should be celebrated because it has no doubt vastly improved the lives and position in soceity of many more people than it has harmed.
If divorce isn't the norm for couples who are not happy and who are making each other miserable then I'd rather be odd.
Nobody who is happy is going to get divorced because Ashton Kutcher has, and if people are giving up on relationships easier than in the past then that just means their relationship wasn't that strong to begin with and that people in the past probably put up with shit that they shouldn't have.

don't worry too much, insanity

you ain't no-one 'til you get a

So long as people read and even pay to read this sleb shit, it will be published.

Divorce changed my life for the better, by the way. Having got out of my first marriage makes me appreciate how good my second marriage is.

I do agree squeaky that some couples do court the press and therefore stories will obv be written about their relationship break-ups. At the same time though I think that some couples who don't neccesarily court the press have stories written about them when they separate. For example I recently saw an article about Gethin Jones and Katherine Jenkins breaking up and I wouldn't say that they were people who seek out media attention, although they both chose jobs in the media spotlight.

Divorce is a fact of life though OP, no point in pretending otherwise, and thank god for that too, as women had it a lot harder years ago when divorce was stigmatised.

As for the gossip round celebs break-ups, people are always going to be fascinated in the minutiae of celebs lives, be it their divorces, weight gain/loss, addictions problems, etc this is what sells so this is what dominates the tabloid press and celeb magazines.