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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore the cat?

22 replies

Kayano · 31/01/2012 14:34

I had 2 cats - both active and outdoor/ indoor/ go whereever they like cats.

Cat 1 died by being knocked over.
Cat 2 had been with him and sat next to him crying until DH and myself found them and brought them both home (was very sad)

Since then cat 2 does not really like to go out. We (DH) got

Cat 3 - who is like cat 2 used to be - goes
Out, get exercise etc

Cat 2 has spent the last 2 years all over me and slowly gaining weight. They eat the same diet which is really the bare minimum recommended.

I try to keep cat 2 fit by letting them out each morning and letting them in later (I am in leave). I also play a bit more with cat 2 because she will play fetch with hair bobbles... Cat 3 is good at entertaining himself and often out.

Now cat 3 has a fab time out and about (I assume - they are both awesome cats) but cat 2 I have noticed more will go in the garden and roll around on her back for 3 minutes... Walk around the house and sit on the windowsill waiting to be back in. She is outside very little. I often let her in for a bit cuddle or play but I need to get stuff done and she is always under my feet. Even the Hoover does not deter her.

So I have been letting them out at about 10am. Cat 3 is off and doesn't come back for a good few hours. She is on the windowsill crying with her gorgeous squishy face within 5 minutes.

AIBU to ignore her for an hour or 2 a day while I madly clean the house. I feel so harsh! :( poor kitty

OP posts:
pinkhebe · 31/01/2012 14:36

Awww poor kitty. As long as it's not pouing with rain, she'll be fine Grin

Original poster
Kayano · 31/01/2012 14:36

Can't get a cat flap but in summer we have a little window that they can get in and out of at will.

It's really only a winter issue Sad

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 31/01/2012 14:36

Awww, poor kitty. She misses her friend. :(

Original poster
Kayano · 31/01/2012 14:36

Obv if it's raining or snowing I wouldn't Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Kayano · 31/01/2012 14:37

I miss him too. I was going to get him a cat tuxedo for our wedding but he dies 3 weeks before

OP posts:
MateyMooo · 31/01/2012 14:42

its sad, but its still a cat. my two cats are similar, whine to go out, whine to come in, so i put them out and leave them out and ignore them when they are scratching at the patio door. they have nice furry coats and are always fine.

DH comes home, lets cats in and rigmarole starts over again... i put them back out he lets them in ad finitum

issey6cats · 31/01/2012 16:31

YANBU just look the other way one of mine does the same thing sits there looking all please mum let me in and hes perfectly fine just dosent like been outside

Original poster
Kayano · 31/01/2012 16:48

I think I need to moderate her treats/ portions to help keep her healthy and glossy.

She is in for cuddles now Grin

OP posts:
paisleyII · 31/01/2012 16:52

ah OP, i am going through very very similar situation myself! i found your post very refreshing, apart from the bit about your cat crying next to the one that had died, that was really upsetting to read, really sad. i only have one cat, rescued in december (or november, can't remember). lovely cat but a bit suffocating. a 'lap' cat and only wants to sit with me. she gets loads of love and attention but it just never feels enough. she doesn't like going out although we do encourage her to but BAM, she wants to come in REALLY soon after going out (we don't have a cat flap, i look out of the window and she is sitting by the back door waiting to come in, we let her in straight away, haven't got the heart not to). she is overweight, came to us like that (long story), vet has seen her. i never give her (food) treats, am really careful about the amount of food i give her, she loves food and nags for it, even when there is some in the bowl [consfused]. the thing is, i am self employed and work from home. am never busy with work in dec & jan so have spent ALOT of time with her sitting on my lap watching tv, lovely BUT i have started to work again and it is really hard. she likes to jump up and sit on the table, or the keypad of the laptop, whilst i am working, and sometimes bites my fingers which freaks me out. i have found best way to keep her off the table when i am working is to make sure the chairs are pushed in as she is too fat and lazy to easily jump up directly....... i am hoping the in summer she goes out more/for longer and gets some excersise. she doesn't seem to like other cats. so you have my sympathy but fraid' i have no advice to give! i think you are certainly NOT being unreasonable :)

paisleyII · 31/01/2012 16:55

ps: i too have given thought about when i need to sit at laptop and work should i put the cat out whether she wants to or not........i have tried but haven't been able to.....i know she would be sitting by the back door right behind where i work wanting to come in. some neighbours have cats that seem to sit on the windowsil waiting to come in for what seems like most of the day.

Original poster
Kayano · 31/01/2012 16:59

I bet I'm your neighbour! She seemed unbothered once I let her in so I think that arrangement should work :) in the summer she should be much happier Smile

I might get one of those luxury scratch post bed things then I can pop her in the conservatory if its too cold or raining while I get the jobs done

OP posts:
fruitshootsandheavesupafurball · 31/01/2012 16:59

I have a cat flap
Last night I spent 40 minutes chasing a mouse round the boot room that my Persian brought in as a 'present'

Be thankful you have to let her in 'manually' Grin

paisleyII · 31/01/2012 17:37

fruit - how on earth do you catch a mouse?? our cat is too lazy to bring me anything like that as she would have to catch it first :), mind you, that is one gift i am quite happy to not get (although i do like mice). we don't have a cat flap either, dh won't let me, no idea why really but we seem to be doing fine without it, if we had one she would come straight back in the house the minute we put her out :D

fruitshootsandheavesupafurball · 31/01/2012 19:24

I have a couple of humane traps and a long mouse poking stick and years of mouse catching experience. Grin

This one was a 'proper' mouse, although quite small. Not like the horse sized one a few weeks ago and the fieldmouse which was all fluffy and sweet.

I once had to apply a blob of tippex to a mouse, who I was sure was purposely getting caught just to get fed in the trap and released.I was correct so next time I took it right up the field across the road before releasing it.
Have never used the proper traps that kill them as I don't fancy the dog chewing the remains up before I can dispose of it!

paisleyII · 31/01/2012 20:22

fruit - that's darn good stuff! you don't kill it, you instead 're-house' it, i love that. brilliant too about the tippex, really sweet. we have one that lives outside and appears on the bins occasionally and nibbles bits of old bread that it pulls out of the bin liner. out cat can smell it but is too lazy to do anything about it, and jolly good too, i'd be very upset if it killed it, it has huge eyes and just sits on top of the bin eating whilst watching me and dd coo over it :)

MateyMooo · 31/01/2012 22:38

OMG dont get me started on the mice and birds.....

we are rural... two cats, both terrific mousers. We also have two extremely bloodthirsty chickens.

Picture the scene... cat 1 catches mouse, cat 2 catches mouse. I run out of the house and grab cat 1 who drops mouse, enter stage left two bloodthirsty chickens waiting to pick off the mouse. i drop the cat, chase the chickens and go after cat 2 wrestle mouse from her, again hotly pursued by 2 bloodthirsty chickens.

All the while i'm shouting... you bad girls, you leave them alone...

good job the neighbours already know i'm batty!

PS i love that the cats are scared of the chickens... chickens must be a cats nightmare, when you have killed as many chicks as ours have!

paisleyII · 31/01/2012 22:57

matey - i love chickens although we have too many foxes around for us to consider getting any plus our garden is far too small. i used to be friendly (kind of) with a local fox from the forest. she was however bullied by the local cat population. on more than one occasion i would be in the street (when dark) in my jim jams with the fox on one side, the bully boy cat on the other, holding the chicken drumstick that the cat kept trying to take off the fox (i would grab it off him to try and give it back to her) and all the while i would be shouting at the cat to bugger off and leave her alone and to go and eat your own food......you think YOUR neighbours think you are batty...... :)

MateyMooo · 31/01/2012 23:06

i love ya paisleyII i'd do that too but i dont want to worry the chickens!

bubby64 · 31/01/2012 23:16

We have 4 cats! All are different. cat1-she dissapears for up to 2 months at a time during the summer, winter time she goes out for a couple of hours at a time, then scratches and miaows to come in. cat2- she regularly goes out each morning and stays out all day, then in for the night, cat3 (2's daughter) in all day then out all night! cat4 (2's son) typical male, sleeps all day, goes out a couple of times for barest minimum, miaows like mad to come back in after just 10minutes, sleeps again! All 4 will be there at meal times waiting by each ones bowl, the only time I can guarentee to see them all in the house at the same time! All cats are different, and just control your vats diet and push it off regularly whatever it is on that you dont wish it to be on! By the way, our dog thinks cat 4 is another dog, think the cat belives that also!!

bubby64 · 31/01/2012 23:16

We have 4 cats! All are different. cat1-she dissapears for up to 2 months at a time during the summer, winter time she goes out for a couple of hours at a time, then scratches and miaows to come in. cat2- she regularly goes out each morning and stays out all day, then in for the night, cat3 (2's daughter) in all day then out all night! cat4 (2's son) typical male, sleeps all day, goes out a couple of times for barest minimum, miaows like mad to come back in after just 10minutes, sleeps again! All cats are different, and just control your vats diet and push it off regularly whatever it is on that you dont wish it to be on! By the way, our dog thinks cat 4 is another dog, think the cat belives that also!!

ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 23:44

Oh arent they buggers! I have 2 cats and they're lazy in the extreme. Out for a bite of grass and a roll..then MAAW! MAAW! at the window.
Mine have also taken to insisting that DH stays away from me in the evening (they don't win with that one) but they are Siamese and have both "chosen" me as their offical human.

I say you are doing the right thing. He will get used to it bless him.

HansieMom · 31/01/2012 23:52

An earlier poster asked how you catch a mouse. I did that once. Teenager cat brought in a mouse for the two kittens to catch. Practice and all. They did not know what to do! The kittens ran around, the mouse ran around, diagonally across the middle of the room. I got a towel and put it over the mouse and carried him outside. Interesting for all.

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