To think that displaying "PFB-ish" behaviour has nothing to do with how many children you have?

[Perriwinkle]

Sorry but I just think you're either inclined to be a precious type or you're not, regardless of how many children you have.

I know a woman who has 3 kids and she's still sooooo bloody precious about all 3 of them - and the youngest one is now 12!!

Then there's me - only one child and I'm very laid back and always have been. I come from a very long line of laid back people so it's in the genes. My DS is also incredibly laid back.

So in short, I think it's either in you to be a "precious" fuss pot or it's not.

Hmm, I know that when I only had one I was a lot bit more precious than I am now.

I know
Someone who was totally pfb with all her kids and the youngest was 14! She did my nut in lol

A relative of mine is suffers terribly from PFBitus with all 3 of her children. It drives me nuts! DSis is a bit PFB with her DD but I think she'll relax more with subsequent children. DH and I are much more laid back horizontal I think it's six of one and half a dozen of the other. Still does my head in though

I think the answer is yes and no.

I will add that I know someone who would tell you she's very laid back, and about a lot of stuff she is. However there are a few things that she is extremely pfb over. She would just tell you those are big issues so you should be very careful over, and on one of them I agree... on the others she's almost obsessional and I would disagree.

Also I do know two or three families who stayed pfb after the second (and subsequent) were born. In those cases they're very much "oh the first one is so sensitive/careful etc. and the second is so relaxed and won't mind". It's not that they are meaning favouritsm, it is how they see it.

Yopu can't be all consumed by one child if you have more than one!! Although I do know some God awful 'never tell the children off' types.

I have definitely got more relaxed with each child. I just don't have time to worry about all the small stuff any more!

Eg with DC1 I had a little notebook to write down all his feeds / sleeps etc until I ditched it when he was about a year old. I found it really useful to keep track of these things so I could fret about him a bit more. With DC2, a similar notebook lasted for a few weeks. No chance of a notebook with DC3!!

Agree with you OP that some people are naturally more laid back than others.

Some people are never afflicted, some get it really badly throughout, a few get it with their last (as they know it's their last little baby).

But for the majority, it really is their eldest who gets it, particularly in babyhood when they seem so tiny, fragile and alien; but it lasts as that baby is the one who gives you all the worrying parental "firsts".

I have 4 dc and fret about each one of them equally. I am no different with dc4 than I was with dc1.

Mind you, I think all families worry about different things, so one parent may appear more relaxed about an issue that another parent feels quite strongly about and vice versa.

I think that you often unclench a little with your second.

But I´ve just told my great gallumping teenager to be careful out as it´s cold (-8)

Wow karma I am in awe of you!

My SIL is PFBish with all of her three... dogs.

I completely agree.

I am horrendous (by my own admittance) with all 3 of mine. And possibly getting worse.

I am POEWD (precious of ex-womb dwellers)

And I shan't change.

mumofthreekids, they are all at school now, so I get lots of time to MN

I think all of my children are precious, they just are....and its my job to care for them and make sure they grow up as decent people, able to care for themselves when appropriate....of course they have accidents/friendship breakups etc...but im there for these times until they can handle them alone....that doesnt mean i am precious about them, i have to make sure they can cope with real life after all...in fact they think i am a bit harsh at times..
There is the opposite though, which is IMO worse, being soo laid back that either your or someone else's child gets hurt.