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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give away my 40th birthday present from my mother that has just arrived?

27 replies

TheRhubarb · 31/01/2012 13:08

It's a necklace from H Samuel, just arrived in the post. No card, no wrapping and no clues as to who it's from other than the handwriting, which is unmistakably hers.

For anyone who doesn't know, my mother and I have had a huge falling out after my stepdad inappropriately touched my 17yo niece and her friend whilst on holiday with us in France (no molesting but touching their bums, inner thighs whilst pretending to tickle, commenting on their breasts and making them feel uncomfortable). I had a word with my mother about it then days later I get an abusive phone call from her saying may God forgive me because she never would. She then tells everyone I've accused him of being a paedophile and as a result half of my family stopped talking to me and I still have no contact from one of my brothers and recently stopped contact with a sister due to abusive texts.

My mother has always been the instigator and was an abusive mother emotionally.

So now I have this necklace. It's pretty but the way it was just shoved in an envelope and posted makes me want to cry. I don't want it. But I don't know what to do with it. Could I give it to charity? I don't want to sell it as I don't even want to keep the money made from such a sale, I just want to get rid of it.

OP posts:
wahwahwah · 31/01/2012 14:16

Gotta go school run.

Chin up - you sound so lovely - and sane (so it's not genetic - yay!)

TheRhubarb · 31/01/2012 16:04

Thank you so much. Sorry I got a bit emotional - me a grown woman still letting my mother affect me.
I found the necklace on H Samuel, it says it costs £149 but is out of stock. Its a September birthstone so perhaps she got it half price. I might put a reserve price on it on ebay perhaps and then donate the money to Unicef or use it to buy one of those charity gifts, like 50 mosquito nets or something.

My dad is lovely but unrealistic. He expects me to arrange a party for him on his 75th and have everyone attend (apart from my mother). He says that he cannot take sides, that he loves us all equally and doesn't want to have a party without inviting the other 2 siblings. So I told him to invite them himself but he runs the risk of someone causing a fight and his birthday memories being tainted.

I shouldn't let this affect me, I know I shouldn't. Why spend so much on a present to just shove it in an envelope? It seems bizarre.

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