Why do people feel the need to touch me just because I'm pregnant? WIBU to drop kick them into next week?

[Rhinestone]

Getting fed up with the touching which only seems to be happening since we announced I was pregnant. Was half expecting the 'bump' touching and practicing my teenage karate in preparation but it's not that, it's everywhere else though.

E.g. Otherwise nice woman but not especially close friend starting stroking my hair the other night.
Colleague / friend of my husband has been way too touchy freely and started running her hand up and down my back last week which actually went on long enough to be a bit creepy.
Various people placing their hand on my shoulder / arm etc or patting me on the leg, hugging me for too long etc.

Why are they doing this? For context, we're living overseas at the moment so away from close friends and family and meeting lots of new people / friends that we have made are relatively new.

Any useful not-too-rude yet nonetheless steely responses?

No clever responses but YAAAAAAAAAAAANBUUUUUUUUUUUU.

We will be ttc soon and this is possibly the thing I am least looking forward to. It's. So. Fucking. Creepy.

One of my colleagues is 4 mos pregnant, we are quite close, but I have never ONCE felt the urge to run my hands over her. Because, you know, I'm a normally socialised adult.

What did you say to StrokyStrokyWoman?

This is a common thing, but baby bumps are just so gorgeous!

You need to think of a few quick and cutting remarks to use, I'm sure you will get some suggestions from others soon.

My closest friend is heavily pregnant at the moment and I am loving being able to perv over her beautiful bump! But she is happy and doesn't mind at all, in fact she loves that I love her baby already so I make no apology!

People occasionally touched my bump (didn't bother me), but I was never touched anywhere else. If somebody stroked you like this when you weren't pregnant, how would you react? I like to think I'd give them an "eeew, please don't do that" look and move away but I'd probably just sit there feeling uncomfortable, wuss that I am.

Unusually for me I was a bit thrown. I sort of stiffened but we were standing in a scrum of people at a party so difficult to move away. Was about to say something as she seriously ran her hand up and down my spine about four times, I.e. four times up, four times down, then she stopped and I avoided her the rest of the evening.

You see KitchenRoll I wouldn't mind if it was my close friends back home, completely different dynamic.

But these are friends we've not had for long, acquaintances and new people.

YANBU. It makes me fucking cringe and even DH is well versed in warning people not to touch the bump in case of setting me off.

Is it part of the culture of wherever you are? Do people "get touchy-feely" with each other there lots? Not that that makes it better for you, but it might mean that to the people doing it, it's something they "just do" and don't read anything into other than a gesture of support/goodwill towards a mother to be. You could try stepping back/away and saying "please don't, I don't know what it is but I can't bear to be touched just now - everything makes me itch." Then laugh and say something about "it must be the new washing powder or something"
Once you have a bump though, it seems to be unstoppable - for some reason a baby bump seems to be public property the world over
(I am fat spherical and have had total strangers stroke/pat my fat before now, assuming I was expecting. Some days it's heartbreaking, some days I take delight in saying "72 hours, that's how long it takes pie to transit the digestive tract and become turd" when they ask when it's due)

No, English speaking 'Western' country.

Love the pie response though!

Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww I would not like that!

I sympathise, I'm not tactile at the best of times and have hated this element of pregnancy. Not helped by OH telling people "You can judge grab her and feel the bump, it's fine..." .

I just don't get it. Four of my team members have been pregnant in the last few years and I have never had the need or desire to violate their personal space in that way.

"You can judge grab her and feel the bump, it's fine..."

My DH would be in MASSIVE trouble for that, thankfully he's of the same opinion as me and said if anyone touched my bump he'll pinch their arse!

I recomment a t-shirt like this.

If you want to create one of your own design, then Vistaprint are very good, have used hem several times.

YANBU - I used to stand with my hands over my bump and if anyone tried to come near I'd rub it for them while glaring in a "don't fucking paw me or I'll scream rape" manner.

I find it strange too.

But my mother (who is a seriously brainy academic and tends to overthink everything) reckons it's an instinctual thing in communities - getting (literally) in touch with new life, showing warmth and encouragement etc. A new baby is the continuation of genetic material and the future of the clan, so everyone takes an interest.

She explained this much better though! Doesn't make it any less annoying, but I can see her pov now which helps.

I'm 32 weeks with dc2 & I hate it. I tolerate some but stiffen & certainly don't encourage. Those who know me well don't do it, strangers will have their hands slapped away & get a stern 'please don't .

I have a newish friend who is from a very touchy feely culture. She rubs bump & strokes my hair regularly (whilst we're with our dc at playgroup) it's eew, but she is otherwise lovely & backs it up by fetching me tea & biscuits & generally treating me like a preggo queen, so carry on!