DH away on business a week after due date - more a WWYD?

[mistressploppy]

Not sure how to play this, I don't want to cause unnecessary guilt...

DC2 is due on 6th Feb. DH is off to HK on business for 10 days on 13th Feb. I've know this for months now and sort of buried my head in the sand about it but now I'm bricking it a little..

He says if the baby is late then he won't go, but we haven't agreed how late. My mum is coming to stay so I won't be on my own, it's just...you know how you want your DH...and I'm thinking about DS too (2.3yo, v close to his daddy)

I know I should probably just say I'm worried and have a good chat with him but he really needs to go on this trip and I don't want to make it harder for him

Not sure what I'm asking here really...I suppose I think that if he's able to cancel the trip in the event of a late baby then why can't he cancel it full stop? That's the me-being-unreasonable bit, I suppose.

Hell no yanbu - late or not . 10 days on other side of world a bit much that soon after. I struggled with pfb when dh was away in china for less than this

I'm due feb 15th and told DH no trips in feb what so ever. I think it's
Reasonable to ask him to cancel or postpone the trip. I would be hello upset to be left alone so soon after a baby.

What if for example you needed a csec and had restricted movement with a new baby and a
Toddler?

I would be very very unimpressed

I guess for me it would depend on how much trouble this would cause at work and whether it would impact on his job security. As you mentioned he's cancel if you were late though I'm guessing it might not matter too much.

The only way to know is to talk to him though.

I would ask him to speak to his boss and see if he can arrange for someone else to go. I would imagine not turning up at the last minute is worse than giving his boss time to sort something else out.

I'd hope he doesn't have to go.

Presumably though Kayano you gave your DH more than one week's notice of your view on the matter and did not go for the bury your head in the sand approach that sloppy has to date.

I expect to be in a minority but YABU unless as Nixea says it would really not cause that much of an issue at work. Fitting around an actually arriving baby or even post birth complication is much more worthy of sympathy from a disinterested employer than an anxious wife where there is no real issue and readily available alternative support.

Hi MistressPloppy
when I was expecting no2 I had a hard time dealing with the knowledge that my DP was about to go on tour for 5 months just as the baby was due. I cried all the time.
He went as planned and the baby was very late (at 40 wks i thought I was in labour and he flew home only for me to not go into proper labour and he had to return to the tour.) she was eventually born almost 2 wks late...
He managed to get home for a long wd when DD was a week old and thereafter I had to deal with rest of it alone. It was tough but tbh having her without DP there was not that big a deal. I'm just saying this in case you end up in that situation. I had a homebirth with my sister there and it was amazing. The annoying thing is not having my DP there to see how freaking great I am at childbirth
Anyway.... You will be ok! If he has to go Get support around you, that's the important thing. Good luck x

YANBU but your mum is probably going to be a lot more help to have around than DH, especially if you've only just given birth.

Thanks all, especially Tuppenyrice for a positive spin!

He IS the boss (MD) so has known for a long time that he might not be able to go. I think I shall drop a gentle hint or two and see how it goes.

Sarah - " Sloppy "? Do you know me in RL?

I'm really surprised that either of you agreed to this trip in the first place. He would either miss the birth, or the first few days with your new baby. Are you both OK with that?

Although with hindsight, I don't think I'd have been that bothered if my DP wasn't there for DC2's birth - I could have done without the comments about my grey hairs (on my head, I hasten to add) whilst I was in the final throes of a rather painful labour .