to be sad and angry that the £70 dp left towards meal was not taken off bill before it was divided?

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To cut a long story short we went out with part of the family over Christmas and we had to leave early. DP paid our part of the bill and left another £70 with my step mum which he said should be taken off the bill before it was divided - basically it was £10 per person off their bill so not a huge amount per person but worth having.

I've just spoken to my sister who says this was never mentioned and the bill was divided up to the penny. She knew nothing at all about the extra money DP left. I haven't told him yet but know he'll be hurt as he meant it as a small gesture to them all for Christmas

Are you saying that your stepmum pocketed the money? - could there have been some misunderstanding about who it was meant for?

Hold fire- it is just possible it was taken off and she didn't realise. But if MIL has pocketed it than YANBU!

Sounds very confusing. Maybe the bill was (for example) 270 and the SM told everyone it was 200, so she has forgotten that your had paid an extra amount off it.

What happened to the money then?

Stepmum, sorry,not MIL!

Where did the £70 go?

Probably genuine mistake, especially if everyone had been boozing. I would let it go now seeing a few weeks have passed

Oh I hope you're all right it was just a mistake or a misunderstanding. i would hate to think anything else. I just can't imagine step mum doing something like that on purpose but do feel sad for DP that his gift wasn't acknowledged.

What can I do? I can hardly ring up and ask what happened to the money

Probably mil deducted it and forgot to mention it. A shame that nobody knew that your DH had contributed to their bills, but nobody pocketed his cash.

It was very generous of your dh to leave the extra but personally I would not chase it up as the meal was before Christmas and we are now nearly in feb. Like others have said, she deducted it but forgot to mention it so unfortunately no-one knew how thoughtful you guys had been

Well either it was taken off and your ds has got the wrong end of the stick or it wasn't and your sm has either pocketed it or thought it was intended to pay her share (or maybe towards her and your df if he was there?)
If you don't think your sm is the thieving sort then I would give her the benefit of the doubt and your dp would be well to make sure he's very clear if he makes any similar gestures in the future.