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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think MIL could come and see ther grandchildren?

11 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 29/01/2012 14:17

She's says she is to scared to drive, but will drive other places. We used to live walking distance and she wouldn't drive there as scared of road been busy. We've moved to more rural area and about 30 min drive. No motorway needed be used to get here and still she don't drive here. She will drive to her dd's and for work.

We do go and visit and have collected her and dropped her home, even my parents have collected her. FIL is currently in NZ till spring and goes back their every winter for work and to maintain his house and boat over there. She won't go with him as doesn't like his boat. He drives her over when he is home.

AIBU to think of she can drive for work (to people's homes to care for them and transport them to hospital etc) and can drive to her dd1's she could drive here?

There's been a few odd issues like our wedding party where she and her 2 dd's bought their own food with them. Oartly because we got married in registry office with just them, my parents and a sibling, then had reception following day but only small with immediate family and close friends. I was 33 weeks pregnant and financially we couldn't afford much. She was very upset as we didn't invite aunts/uncles/cousins etc.

EI don't think she likes me much, tho we've never fallen out. When she is here she doesn't really pay attention to the children (12, 4 and 3 months).

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 29/01/2012 14:19

She could come and see them, but some people just don't like children, even when they're related to them.

breatheslowly · 29/01/2012 14:24

Well she could drive over to yours, but she doesn't pay attention to your kids when she is over anyway, so what would be the point? It just all sounds a bit of a waste of time for every one. Sad

ComposHat · 29/01/2012 14:25

Is this a case of her pestering you/others for lifts or does she not seem to want to come round?

Perhaps she's just not that keen to spend her leisure time around a small child?

MamaMaiasaura · 29/01/2012 14:33

No, no pestering for lifts. Actually I think sadly she just isn't really interested Sad I find it a bit sad as she sees her other grandchildren. I suspect she moans to her dd that it's because of me. I say this because she will say things to me about the dd's husband, her SIL, basically the other important person in her relatives life.

I stupidly listened to get when she told me that her SIL was a really really awful woman to the point of saying she was racist and cruel to her adopted daughter. Because of that I cried off a planned visit and have not yet met them. I know I should reserve judgement till meeting someone. However, I now wonder what she has said about me.

I think I need to just let her get on with whatever and I'll get on here

OP posts:
ssd · 29/01/2012 15:19

does she take an interest on her other grandkids, do she go to see them?

NeedlesCuties · 29/01/2012 16:04

Has your DH spoke to her? It is his mother after all.

I feel your pain though, my MIL is similar :(

MamaMaiasaura · 29/01/2012 16:19

Yes she sees one lot from her dd1, her other grandchild with her dd2 lives about 3hrs away so she goes and stats there for a few weeks, but comes back saying how awful the husband is. I don't think she's malicious and I don't think she sees what she does

OP posts:
Kayano · 29/01/2012 16:34

I would drive on normal roads and motorways but I don't drive on country roads for anyone.

Ever.

I just hate them

MamaMaiasaura · 29/01/2012 16:37

But her reason is that she doesn't like motorways and busy roads. You can drive to ours either through quiet country roads or quicker route on motorway.

OP posts:
eatyourveg · 29/01/2012 16:50

Train?

MamaMaiasaura · 29/01/2012 17:28

Exactly, there's a ferry too and buses. We do visit her and also bring her over but with good traffic it's half hour each way so that's 2 hours driving for us to collect her. Think I needed to type it out to make sense of it. She's an adult and it's up to her at end of the day.

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