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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a second hand carseat?

31 replies

PoultryInMotion · 29/01/2012 12:49

Do tell me if I'm being precious Grin DD is 2.1, DC2 is expected in March

So DH went up in the loft to retrieve our old infant carseat the other day. I'd treat it carefully, stored it all wrapped up and in its box. DH for some unfathomable reason took it out of its packing, then proceeded to drop it out the loft hatch because he is an idiot thought I was at the bottom ready to 'recieve' it. I was not aware of this plan and was nowhere near the loft hatch. So it fell. Hard. And broke.

So now we need a new one. It's a nuisance, but we can afford a new one so I've been looking round the shops to see what's apropriate. I made the mistake of mentioning to my Mum and Brother that I was going to look at some carseats. They seem rather horrified that I'm actually going to pay out for a new seat. I'm not keen to use the old one as now theirs a (albeit small) crack in the side.

Now they've passed the message round, I've been inundated with offers of old used carseats. I'm really chuffed that people are being kind (even if a fair few are selling rather than givingSmile) but I just really don't want to use someone else's old carseat. I know that sounds stupid considering I was happy to use my own old carseat, but I know where it's been, how it's been taken care of, and that it's never been in a crash. I'm sure other people have taken just as good care with their carseat as I have (well, you know, until it was dropped from a great height) but I don't know for sure.

It's just that it seems to be the done thing. I've had several offers. I've also had people ringing me telling me they'd spotted ads in the paper for second hand carseats. It's lovely that people are looking to do me a favour and save me some money but I really don't know how to politely say 'I don't want your old carseat, it might not be safe' Confused

We have an old car and although it's perfectly roadworthy, I'll bet it's not as 'crash proof' as more modern cars, hence why I'd like to be doubly sure we have a decent carseat that's been fitted by a trained person.

Am I being precious? If not, how do I politely decline without offending?

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 29/01/2012 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainbowinthesky · 29/01/2012 12:54

Yanbu. I would get a new one if I were you.

Threeprinces · 29/01/2012 12:54

YANBU, I'd use a second hand one from very close family or friend if I knew where it'd been/ that it'd been looked after but not from random people at all. You don't know if it's been in an accident or not.

blackeyedsusan · 29/01/2012 12:56

no. go for a we are following the new safety guidance and a "you want your dgc to be as safe as possible don't you?" accompanied by a hard stare.

juneau · 29/01/2012 12:56

Just say 'thanks, we've got one now' and if you want to buy a new one, buy one. Your baby, your money, your choice.

Acandlelitshadow · 29/01/2012 12:58

Not precious.

Just thank people for their kindness and say you've already bought one.

Birdsgottafly · 29/01/2012 13:01

YANBU. The price of car seats are coming down as even the 'discount' type shops (B&M etc) sell them, it's a personal choice/weighing up the risk whether to take the chance on a used one.

Original poster
PoultryInMotion · 29/01/2012 13:02

Thank you all for telling me IANBU!

DM can't understand why I don't just use the old one but the crack has affected the harness mechanism so I got out of that one! I fully intend on buying a brand new one, I just didn't know what to say when people are offering me their old ones. I didn't think of saying I'd already been out and bought one

OP posts:
treas · 29/01/2012 13:03

You are absolutely right not to get a second hand car seat - official guidelines regarding car seats state that you shouldn't.

Besides you don't know if the seat has been involved in and accident.

onadietcokebreak · 29/01/2012 13:15

Car seat safety is the one thing i get a bee in my bonnet about.

I've been know to tell people in uncertain terms what i think when they mention taking risks eg second hand seats, travelling on laps etc. Apparently it's upset them but hey ho if I say nothing I'm complicit in their actions.

There are very few people I whose seats I would borrow -
My best friends I would- she values safety like me- my sister is more laissez faire-so no I wouldn't.

I wouldn't lend my seat out either.

Car seats do expire- most 5 years after date if production. The stresses on the plastic due to changes in temperature is one reason.

RitaMorgan · 29/01/2012 13:20

Not precious at all. Unless you absolutely trust that a second hand seat hasn't been in a crash (even a crash with no child in it) and isn't too old etc, it's safer to get a new one.

NinkyNonker · 29/01/2012 13:21

From a friend or family member that I trusted, then maybe, otherwise no. I'm very precious about car seats though.

SecretNutellaFix · 29/01/2012 13:22

YANBU.

Pandemoniaa · 29/01/2012 13:23

I'm really rather paranoid about car seats - things have changed a lot since my dcs were born and I won't take even the slightest risk with dgd. She had a brand new infant seat and I've just invested in a top of the range next stage seat.

So I dont think YABU at all. As others have said, just thank the people who've offered second hand seats but say you've already bought a new one. Suggest to your DH that he'd never forgive himself if you had an accident in a potentially unsafe seat when you could easily afford to buy new.

cutegorilla · 29/01/2012 13:24

YANBU, unless you really trust the people it's coming from. And you absolutely mustn't use the cracked one (as you clearly know).

Sirzy · 29/01/2012 13:24

I would only use a second hand car seat if I was 100% sure that it had never been in an accident/drop/used incorrectly even then I would buy new if at all possible.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 29/01/2012 13:25

I would never use a second hand car seat,just tell people that you already have one.

randommoment · 29/01/2012 13:29

With the rest of the MN jury on this one. Nice to see us all agreed about something for a change!

onadietcokebreak · 29/01/2012 13:32

What car sear is it? The cover / harness pads may feach a resonanlw amount on eBay.

ComposHat · 29/01/2012 13:37

Depends.

I would happily buy/use one from someone who I knew very well and I was certain they'd looked after it.

More nervous about a complete stranger.

lynniep · 29/01/2012 13:39

YANBU. As everyone else says. I dont care if my mum says her neighbours cousings daughter has never had a crash in it. If you cannot be 100% s just politely say no thank you.

upahill · 29/01/2012 13:39

I hope you have trashed the old car seat up sot it can't be used by anyone else in the future.

It clearly isn't safe and I would hate someone thinking they have a had a bit of good luck getting a second hand car seat only to later find out it was potentaly dangerous.

Original poster
PoultryInMotion · 29/01/2012 13:44

onadietcokebreak I have removed the cover as I was hoping to ebay it for a few pounds! Then as upahill suggests this would hopefully put people off skip diving for it! I'll give the polystyrene (sp?) inner a good smash just to be doubly sure!

OP posts:
oldraver · 29/01/2012 13:51

I would buy one or pretend too and just say "oh thanks, we have it covered". I too would not buy/ use a second hand one unless I was absolutely sure of its provinence.

AS DietCoke Break mentioned they do also have a recommended shelf life and as DS is coming to the end of his Stage 1 (at 6 years old.... he is tiny and was in his Stage 0+ till he was 18 months) it will be scrapped. Cut off the harness so it cant be used

onadietcokebreak · 29/01/2012 14:00

Yep cut harness and write in marker pen on shell damaged - dangerous

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