AIBU to be shocked at lack of car seat behaviour?

[fortheloveof]

I looked after my friend's 4yr old last night. He was in bed asleep when she came to pick him up. She wrapped him up in his sleeping bag and put him on the back seat of the car lying down even though his car seat was there.

I am totally surprised at this as she is normally very safety conscious and I would trust her judgement in every situation. She had a half hour journey to get home and it was late and icy.

I didn't realise until they were driving off that he was on the back seat but the truth is I was probably too surprised to confront her about it anyway. I understand that it was her call but it really doesn't sit well with me.

YANBU, that's the sort of thing our patents did with us in the 70s before we knew how vital car seats are, not to mention the legal aspect now.

Wake the sleeping child up, strap them into the car seat is the only option. YANBU.

I will be honest and say it wouldnt bother me too much so long as there was no motorway driving involved.

YANBU.

sparkling - i agree, that's what I would have done

squeaky - i think any roads can be dangerous. We live in a very rural area with single track, icy roads where the deer jump out at you!

I agree any roads can be dangerous, but the chance of a fatal collision at low speed is much lower than the chance of fatal collision at high speed.

squeaky - of course you are absolutely right. I just don't see why anyone would take any unnecessary risk

If she had had to do an emergency stop it wouldn't have been good.

you don't have to be going that fast to get thrown off the seat.

Yanbu

My friend was killed because he lay down in back seat when really tired and there was an accident, the others were in front and had some injuries but nothing life threatening, he was killed straight away as he went through front windshield. So if that happened to a young adult a little child would have no chance.

squeaky Even if you're driving slowly their might be others out there on the roads driving far faster than appropriate for the road. Or drunk drivers.

Squeaky are you for real??? Certainly in Scotland, the majority of road fatalities occur on rural roads. Crashing at 40mph would be fatal for someone not strapped in. If it's a head-on collision, the force is about 80mph. Even a very low-speed shunt is a whole different matter if not restrained.

Not sensible. Without suitable restraints, children are simply thrown around the car and become like small, uncontrolled missiles. This occurs even in relatively minor accidents and awful injuries, or death, can result. Since the alternative is to just wake the child and put them in their seat where they are likely to fall asleep again anyway, it's an awful risk to take.

Squeaky ??? So I presume you never wear seatbelts cos what's the point?

Car seats are comfy enough, have put him into it and strapped him in and then tucked the sleeping bag around him to keep him warm and cosy.

Even if she had to brake a bit suddenly at lights or if someone slowed down suddenly in front of her, he might have rolled off and got a fright and woken up.

Kids sleep in car seats all the time, so it is unnecessary to lie them down and not use a car seat.

Not sure what the law is in UK, I am in Ireland so they are usually fairly similar, but here it is illegal for anyone not to have a seat belt on and children under 12 (or a certain height) have to use a carseat/booster seat.

Why take the risk? If she had crashed he would have been thrown straight off the seat and the possibilities don't bear thinking about, even an emergency stop would be dangerous.

If any of us were in fortheloveof's shoes would we have said anything to our friend? I don't know if I would.

I would have made an " you not strapping him in?" type comment at least

Yes, I suppose I would say something like 'do you think he will be ok not strapped in?'

YANBU.
I wouldn't let her take my kid anywhere in her car, now, either.

Good job you don't live where I live. (a middle east Gulf state) No-one except the European and Western Ex-Pats bothers with car seats at all. Babes in arms go on the mother's/maid's lap until they are old enough to clamber/toddle, and then they just clamber/toddle all over the car like it's a ball pond. They hang out of the windows, and I once saw a man holding up a baby through the sunroof as they drove at about 50 miles an hour down a dual carriageway. I frequently see toddlers 'driving' the car on their parent's laps. And all that would be bad enough in the UK, but if you could see the horrific standard and speed of the driving here, the tailgating, erratic lane-changing and sudden emergency braking that goes on, it would make your blood run cold.

I didn't realise until she was reversing past my kitchen window that he was lying down, so I would have had to run outside and flag her down to speak to her about it.

If I had seen her putting him in the car like that I like to think that I would have said something at the time. I don't think there is much point confronting her now but will think about what to say if it ever happens again.

She has always seemed super cautious when in comes to driving my children around and insisted on booster seats etc. I am just very suprised at this lack of attention, especially considering she had a car accident in icy conditions last year which wrote off the vehicle, but thankfully no one was hurt.

yet none of us care that buses or trains do not have seat belts...why?

Fair point minimiss, and it is something I think about when using public transport. However, it's different in a private vehicle where the belts are there so why not use them?

I suppose we would like them, but they are not practical on most public transport for obvious reasons, and statistically buses and trains almost NEVER crash, (at least not more than a low speed prang) compared to cars. Coaches, on the other hand, do seem to crash. I guess most buses never get up enough speed to do too much damage.