To be annoyed with dm over jigsaw mayhem despite the fact that she has helped us out?

[lecce]

I had another thread yesterday that mentioned some of this but basically my dh, usually sahd, has MS and has been experiencing symptoms over the last two weeks. Family, my mother and dh's father, have helped with childcare. They live 3 hours/1.5 hours away respectively and dm doesn't drive, so they have had to stay over. They have done a week each.

One child at local school, one 2.5 yr old at home to look after. I'm pretty sure IBU tbh, but I can't help feeling, I don't know, disappointed, that all my mother has done is opened up every jigsaw we have and left him to it, with the tv on. I have spent the last 2 hours, with the help of the dc where possible, sorting jigsaws. We have a lot as ds2 loves them. The thing is, we have 4 Thomas boxes - with 18 jigsaws between them - why do bastard Ravensburg do this? Anyway,these had been sorted into sandwich bags and are now totally muddled. I honestly doubt they'll ever get sorted - it was bad enough doing it the first time one box at a time. It wouldn't matter but ds2 loves them and is asking to do them. Of the other jigsaws, most have at least one piece missing.

I just feel like crying. Dc are watching tv - again - it has barely been off the last couple of weeks - while I try to sort everything. Am surrounded by endless jigsaw bits, most with Thomas's sinister grin on, and it's seeming to symbolise everything that's wrong with our lives at the moment

I know IBU but really just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading.

Do the backs of the pieces not have different patterns on them? I remember ours did when mine were little - one would have diamonds, another circles. Makes them a lot easier to sort out.

YAB v U to complain when you have been helped out to such an extent. They are only puzzles.

I have to admit though, it does annoy me when people get stuff like this out and don't put it away properly. Especially my PIL who don't put stuff away properly. And then will passive aggressively point out when there are pieces missing from stuff they have bought DD.

But in the context of a huge favour like this. And a weeks childcare with no notice is a HUGE favour IMO, then YABU.

Very sorry to hear about your DH though, I hope he improves soon.

Vent away. Sounds like things are tough for you atm.

Some jigsaws have symbols on back and so if they dont then I add a code on back.

That doesn't help you now but maybe a nice task for you to delegate to the culprit for next week.

Yes, it's annoying but YABU to complain when your DM has helped all week. But you know that already.

Just forget about sorting the jigsaws for now, switch off the tv and have some fun with your kids. The jigsaws can wait & you'll feel much better! :)

YANBU the noise of the TV constantly on would drive me crazy. Can't you just switch the TV off and put some nice Smooth FM on?

If they do not have patterns on the back as Ilove says chuck em, complain to the company for a major design error and ask for new ones (free)

Hope DH is feeling better soon.

Sorry it's a bit late for you now, but it would be a good idea when you've got them sorted- the first thing I always did when the DC got a new jigsaw was to mark the back of every piece with different colours, or numbers if I ran out of colours for puzzles that looked the same.

I should think people aged 60ish in general would find a week looking after a 2.5yo absolutely exhausting. My mum certainly would, my MIL would have a dizzy spell. I think putting the TV on and doing puzzles is a reasonable way of getting it done. Sometimes, you have to just do what you can and get through it.

When my 5yo was around 20 months, I was extremely ill. The best I could do was to put him in a playpen watching the TV. I was slumped next to the playpen, in pain and vomiting. I am talking all day on many occasions. I don't feel bad about it, it was a tough time and I have got through it. You shouldn't feel bad about the quality of care your 2yo has had this week.

You must quit worrying about the jigsaws. They can be sorted out. For the Thomas ones, just assemble all the puzzles and then mark the backs to avoid future problems.

Ds has similar Thomas jigsaws. When I arranged them into bags I also numbered them to make it easier to put away!

Ds is just 2 and if he had his own way he would have them all out at once so I am trying to encourage finish one put it away before starting a new one so I would be a bit annoyed but not for long!

YABU, I'd kill for that amount of childcare (also have an ill DH who is SAHD while I work). We have very little support. On the odd occasion my parents visit (usually late and then spending the whole time watching telly or not doing the DCs' bedtime routine etc etc) I just suck it up TBH because there is nobody else, anywhere.

But YANBU for being U... It is such a difficult situation and you are exhausted. Can you arrange some play dates for your older DS? Can somebody help with school runs? (I'm considering doing a swap with some nearby classmates if I go FT - eg I do Monday they do Tuesday etc) Also it might get easier when DS2 starts nursery.

Oh God this thread brings out my inner Monica. I would be over like a shot to sort them all out nicely, label them and put them back in the right boxes.

Ask your friends if anyone fancies the job! Seriously I would love doing it, I cannot be the only one.

Don't make it a massive job by doing the jigsaws all at once. That way lies despair. Over the next couple of weeks do a box every afternoon or so with ds 'helping'. You'll get through them.

The problem is the MS not the jigsaws. My late dh had MS and it is the most soul destroying illness which eats away at family life. Relax about the jigsaws and be glad you have your dm to help. Ask her to do the sorting or if push comes to shove, bin them,buy a new set and label them. Life is too precious to stress about jigsaws which are cheap maybe your mum could bring a couple of new ones next time she comes. TV doesn't matter either-honestly :-) in an ideal world you and your dh would be being creative and interactive with DC but given your circumstances a few hours of cbeebies, a loving gran and some puzzles will be absolutely fine. My heart goes out to you.