AIBU or just hormonal?

[OffTheBall]

DD moved to secondary school last year away from all her friends but has kept in close touch with her best friends from primary. Over the years we have had 10-12 sleepovers at our house with these girls. The last was just a few weeks ago. I know the other parents weren't keen on hosting sleepovers but as I don't mind it never bothered me that she had only been to a few at the others houses and one girl had never had one, although she has had the other girls in the group to stay at her house one at a time except my DD.

This was all fine, but I found out today that this girl had a just had a big sleepover for her friends from her new school.

I am feeling a bit upset by this.

Not because this girl is having a sleepover with her new school friends because its lovely they have all moved on and made new friends (and I don't for one minute mean that my DD should have been invited to this recent sleepover) but the fact that she has never invited my DD for a sleepover ever, despite being more than happy to come here for a sleepover on numerous occasions and obviously the mum cannot be that against sleepovers if she has just had one.

My DD is not really bothered as she has also made lots of new friends at her new school, but I can't tell if I am just being hormonally over sensitive here or not?

Erm, if your DD isn't bothered then surely there's no issue here?

YABU, and are completely over thinking this.

Maybe they had a reason for not having one before? who knows. I don't think you can take offence everytime a child is not invited to something, there are all sort s of factors in play, time, space, allergies, different combinations of children, different combinations of parents, I also think it is a good thing to be establishing newrelationships at this time in their lives. Maybe this little girl is struggling to get to know people, and her Mum, who might hate sleepovers with a vengence, decided to make the sacrifice so that her DD had an oppertunity to get to know the other girls better, There coud be a thousand reasons. please don't take it personally. It's just a fact that you can't invite all children to everyhting, and not worth getting upset about, or reading too much into, or anything like that

Maybe she just doesn't like her as much as the others?

I had friends in a big group and as much as I liked them all, I gelled with some more than others so therefore, they were the ones I picked for sleepovers.

Some of them I just wanted to spend a day or an evening with but not any long length of time.

Surely that's normal?

Isn't it more likely that the mum decided no group sleepovers until secondary? It seems like the sort of thing some people put age limits on and secondary seems like the sort of age a parent might choose.

I think you are over thinking things on rather a grand scale. It might well be that DD's friend's mother is still not the greatest fan of sleepovers but now her dd is at secondary school and making new friends, she's prepared to cope with one. Either way I'd just assume things have moved on and not look for ulterior motives lest you do your own head in!

I wasn't keen on sleepovers when my dcs were at primary school either, tbh.

yabhormonal :-)

I think Asiatic put it very well.

YAB hormonal.

Lots of parents start doing things differently when their dc start at secondary school. That is probably all there is to it.