or is this a feasible solution?

[fbnomore]

dh is not coping. I am only home on the weekends, and the house is a complete tip when i get there. this means that instead of doing mothering type stuff, i am cleaning, doing laundry and cooking. organising cupboards and getting stressed at kids for not doing any housework, taking care of their stuff. they get enough yelling from him after a long day of working. etc.

Is it feasible to have someone come in every day for a couple of hours housework and possibly cook a meal once or twice a week? i want housework such as laundry , putting away clothes and tidying done. we already have a cleaner come in twice a week, but its just not enough. she does cleaning of floors and toilets etc, but i need more done.
how much will this cost me? and is it feasible or am i living in cloud cucckooo land? will someone want to do this? I live in londonish area.

Does you dh have an illness that prevents him from chucking some washing in and running a hoover round?
serious question, not meant to be offensive.

he works full time, and has a business which is almost two full time jobs in itself.
kids arent all that young, and know how to load dishwasher and washing machine etc. but they just arent doing it, and getting them to comply is increasing his stress levels. I'm just trying to look at solutions to making home life easier.
i used to do tesco.com, but he likes going into the shop, which takes longer and makes him stressed, but he just wont listen to my suggestion to shop online coz he's stubborn and not helping himself.

Does your DH work from home?

no. his office is five minutes drive away though. im the one in a different city five days a week

You mean a housekeeper? You're looking at about £12 per hour for a decent one. Best off getting one for two days a week who can pre cook meals for the fridge and give the place a tidy and clean. Sack the cleaner. She should be tidying and sorting washing and ironing surely. Or did you not realise cleaners do this? Intact your cleaner may need more hours and then can do all the extra jobs. Mine is amazing, does everything apart from cook. Works a full day at my house per week. Two days a week would be lovely as come her working day the place is a tip.

A for the shopping just do a repeat order online for each week. He can en go and enjoy buying any extras. Or stop moaning (him not you)

assuming money is not a problem can you increase the cleaner's hours and duties or get a different cleaner that will do the things you mentioned? Ours is great for little things like taking wet washing out of the machine and hanging it to dry. She doesn't put away because she doesn't know where stuff goes but she would if I asked, ditto ironing. How old are your kids? Mine are still tiny but I intend to get them to do chores when they are old enough. Can you withhold privileges etc to get them to comply? Additional help from outside may only increase their sense of entitlement to do naff all.

Outsourcing more of the housework is by no means unreasonable in the circumstances (though high quality ready meals probably better value than a cook).
But I think your DCs really need to step up to the mark as well (possibly in return for a raise in their pocket money).

sorry, i didnt clarify too well. the current cleaner only does two hours, twice a week. she doesnt want to do any more hours as she has a full time job otherwise. she started with me five years ago as a student needing extra money, and i guess she still enjoys the extra money. she doesnt do the laundry as there isnt time. the house is big, and the new extention means it takes even longer to do the floors.
yes, i guess I am looking for a housekeeper. :(

I like the idea of just doing a grocery shop, regardless.

trixie, thats just it. the parenting issue. the youngest is 9. so there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that either me or dh should be doing things like dishes even. but he is really not coping at all, and making them doing it is hard.
pocket money doesnt happen coz he doesnt believe in it. :(

How many DCs do you have?

Could you sit down and have a chat about how difficult you are both finding life at the moment? Maybe if they understood how stressed you feel they are more likely to help.

I would be reluctant to get any further external help if people within the family were not prepared to pitch in first.