to want to talk to my father less often?

[language]

First of all, I absolutely adore my father, but sometimes I think that I should talk to him less often!

I think that my father is disappointed with my career ? or more the lack of it... I graduated from a prestigious university with a First, and had a promising career start. Then I got married, had 2 sons (who are 7 and 4 at the moment) and after several years of job/family juggling started to work from home as a freelancer (part-time). I like my job, and I contribute to the family budget, but of course it is not a high-flying career. I am happy with it though (at least, for the moment). My father keeps asking me when I will find a proper job or start a proper business (i.e. run an agency instead of just being a freelancer). He says that I am wasting my time by working on such a small scale, and that I should earn more etc. Etc. I have told my father many times that I am happy with my life, and that I?m not too old to start a more ambitious career a couple of years later. We are also planning a 3rd child (I haven?t told my parents, of course). As much as I love my father, I don?t want to live according to his wishes, and I?m upset after each discussion with him.

You've missed out the key info: how often do you talk to him?

I have this same problem. I have completely limited talking to my father to once on Saturdays and then only briefly. I feel better for it.

I think you need to firstly have a talk with him, or decide not to discuss so much with him, especially do to with work.

If you adore each other it would be a shame to distance yourself.

My parents are pretty disappointed with my 'career' (I haven't got one) and I can't change the fact that I haven't met their expectations in that way, we do not discuss it, because at present I have no choice to make (I would ask their advice) so it just becomes a pointless and irritating subject.

We talk about the weather. Its dull, but we're talking and neither is left feeling let down.

TheSurgeonsMate: I talk to him on the phone once or twice a week (my parents live abroad) and then we spend together 1-2 weeks of holidays per year.

aldiwhore: what's the point of talking about the weather... I did explain to my father that family comes first for me at the moment, but I think that he is so anxious about my future that he can't help "giving me wise advice"

If these discussions upset you so much, can you just not engage, change the subject or just tell him that you will not discuss it any more?

Can you tell him how hurtful it is that he criticises so much?

My ILs are disappointed in my husband-he´s an only child.

TBH it colours my view & I don´t respect them.

I think it´s horrible.

YANBU. I think that's a lot of talking on the phone. My DH speaks to his parents more, but they're very involved in our lives and there are often arrangements to make or questions to ask. But your parents live abroad. In the circusmtances I would find two times a week too much.

Thanks for your comments. I did tell my father that these discussions upset me, but he thinks that I'm just being too sensitive. At the same time, I know that he loves me a lot, so I don't really want to distance myself from him. He's not that young any more...

Did your parents financially support you while you were at university?