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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Leaving Do

10 replies

willandkate · 26/01/2012 23:13

I work as a PA and I have recently handed in my notice on good terms to move to a job with better prospects, more money etc. The office is small and sociable and the vast majority of my colleagues will be at attending farewell drinks. My manager however, who I work very closely with and have for a number of years as his PA, has made it clear he won't be attending as he doesn't attend social occasions at work. He has given no other reason, no plans, just doesn't want to be there. I am quite upset by this and feel that he should make the effort to attend after all the work I have done, sometimes way above my job role and on a personal level as a proper goodbye as we have obviously worked very closely for a number of years. Other colleagues agree he should attend but I am reluctant to approach him and ask him to make the effort for fear of damaging our relationship and because I don't want him to be there if he doesn't want to be there. I suppose I just want him to want to be there! AIBU? Thank you for reading,

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 26/01/2012 23:17

He doesnt like social functions.. some people dont.

Why not ask him if he would like to go out for a leaving lunch on your last day.

olgaga · 26/01/2012 23:19

He's explained the reason isn't personal. If he doesn't want to come, don't demean yourself by going on about it. It's hardly going to damage your relationship - you won't have one once you've left!

Rachelwalsh · 26/01/2012 23:20

I don't really see what difference it makes to you in the long run whether he comes or not, it does seem a bit cold but there you are, it's his decision. Maybe he has had a bad experience with work social occasions and prefers to keep things strictly professional. If he's made it clear he won't be going I think you would be unreasonable to approach him again about it.

JoyceDivision · 26/01/2012 23:21

Personally, I'd say your boss isn't really BU, it's not an essential work thing, its a sociable do, and if he doesn't attend social stuff then he just desn't. You might be seeing yourdrinks as a cheery send off but it could just be a long evening in a pub that doesn't interest your boss.

Not sure what you would mean by a 'proper goodbye'? Standing in a pub or bar with a drink when someone doesn't want to be there isn't really the best way to say goodbye?

Plus, although you've worked closely for a number of years, do you feel closer to your boss than he feels to you (and I don't meabn in a crush sort of fashion, btw!) eg, when you leave to him he'll expect another efficiant staff meber in your chair to replace the previous efficient staff member? (sorry if that sounds harsh, don' mean it to!)

Tiredmumno1 · 26/01/2012 23:23

Squeaky's lunch idea might work

willandkate · 27/01/2012 07:16

Thanks alot, feel better, maybe I took it too personally Blush. Great idea about lunch. :)

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 27/01/2012 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMAZINWOMAN · 27/01/2012 08:34

Maybe he has a family and prefers to spend the little free time he has with family. I know I prefer spending time with family to work social events.

CurlyBoy · 27/01/2012 10:41

I have always kept a very strict work/home life separation. I never attend works social functions. It just isn't something I do. Your manager may have a similar philosophy. It's not personal, he just may not mix social functions with work. Now that I have a family I have even more reason to be home on an evening and spend as much time as possible with my family.

verytellytubby · 27/01/2012 10:48

Lunch? My ex boss used to hate work functions but we had a few boozy lunches.

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