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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To request costumes at really short notice?

23 replies

hockeyforjockeys · 26/01/2012 20:25

I'm a Year 6 teacher currently teaching WW2. Every year our school has a 'VE' day party at the end of the unit where the kids come in period dress. We are doing it next week, but had completely forgotten about the dressing up part (new to year 6, been a bit too bothered about upcoming SATS recently) until one of the kids asked about me about it today. They are really excited about it as they've seen previous years do it. So would WIBU to send out a note tomorrow suggesting the children dress up next week, considering its really short notice, most of the kids families are on tight budgets, and many parents don't speak good English so the whole concept will probably be lost on them anyway?

Personally I really don't care either way, I'm more concerned about the pissed off child vs pissed off parent issue!

OP posts:

Sirzy · 26/01/2012 20:27

Can you not do the party but send a letter home saying fancy dress is optional? That way any parents who for whatever reason can't get a costume together dont feel pressured?

And put an idea for a really simple outfit on with clothes most already have?

Sirzy · 26/01/2012 20:28

and see if you can find a box of bits for children to put on on the day if they dont come in fancy dress

sunshineandbooks · 26/01/2012 20:29

I reckon if you were to send a letter home saying that you know you left it too late and your're reeeeally sorry etc (i.e. laying it on with a trowel) but if anyone could help by sending in anything at all that could be used for fancy dress, you might just be surprised...

Parents are funny like that. They are pissed off when they get a demand but can be surprisingly quick to rally round if asked for help.

Good luck. I sympathise about the SATS pressure.

Original poster

hockeyforjockeys · 26/01/2012 20:30

If I do then that's the way the letter will be phrased. I just don't want to cause huge rows at home with parents feeling pressured into doing it.

OP posts:

EdithWeston · 26/01/2012 20:33

I was going to suggest something similar to sunshineandbooks: send the note, saying it's optional, and with easy costume suggestions.

Then either you or a colleague need to let it slip to the two gossipiest parents that you've made a huge mistake and you're absolutely mortified, and you are hoping against hope that parents can be understanding and will rally round.

troisgarcons · 26/01/2012 20:46

TBH ...... let me tell you something as a parent

and many parents don't speak good English so the whole concept will probably be lost on them anyway?

new to year 6, been a bit too bothered about upcoming SATS recently) until one of the kids asked about me about it today

(a) call my child a baby goat and I'd probably lose all respect for you.

(b) have such a dismissive attitude to ESL families and I'd definately lose the little bit of respect I had

ladyasriel · 26/01/2012 20:49

I wouldn't be happy and my kids (a) know about wartime (b) speak English as their first language and (c) I work full-time so you would have shafted my weekend to go hunting for fancy dress with no time to order online. Be more organised next year!

BandOMothers · 26/01/2012 20:52

YANBU and DON'T beg for forgiveness in the note! Just say "As in previous years we will be celebrating the end of the unit with a VE day party next week and would like the hildren to come dressed as people from the 1940s. If you are stuck for ideas then the enclosed pictures should give you some ideas." and include a photocopy of some basic ideas...pics of women in print dresses with hair turbans....kids with gas mask boxes and so on....it's not hard to do this type of outfit and any parent who moans is a lazy sod.

A week is plenty of time.

BandOMothers · 26/01/2012 20:53

lady yo don't need to shop online for a print dress and a scrap of fabric for a turban! A gas mask box can be made with an old box and some tape.

cheesesarnie · 26/01/2012 20:54

what trois said!!
at your post.

id forget about the party and concentrate on your parent/teacher skills!

BandOMothers · 26/01/2012 20:54

Oh and I work full time too! I don't let that stop me helping with my DCs education.

cheesesarnie · 26/01/2012 20:55

btw we have loads of fancy dress crap all over the house so i wouldnt be pissed off about that,id be pissed off at your attitude

BandOMothers · 26/01/2012 20:56

I am also shocked at your attitude re Engllish as a 2nd language though OP. The concept will only be lost if you don't prepare the DC and provide good advice for the parents.

Hassled · 26/01/2012 20:56

If you're talking the end of next week, I think a polite apologetic note would be absolutely fine - stress that it's optional and if you can include a picture of the sort of thing you mean that's well received - google image WW2 child or something.

grubbalo · 26/01/2012 20:59

Any parent who moans Band, may just be bloody busy and have 101 other things that need doing. Not all of us like or enjoy doing costumes - I know some people do, but I for one hate it, struggle, and also hate the way some parents use the whole process as a means to demonstrate what a wonderful parent they are.

OP, I'd go with the majority of people so far and agree it would be fine if you did tone the letter as appreciating it's late notice, any children who do want to turn up it would be lovely. Or, even better, could you suggest (easy to get) things they could all bring in, and then they all make the fancy dress? That way the uber keen parents can donate 17 shirts and feel virtuous for months.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 26/01/2012 21:05

I dont like doing costumes as a parent, but it's just one if those things that comes with being a parent so people should stop moaning and just get on with it.

I'm sure most girls will have a long skirt or dress of some description, and the boys can just wear trousers, even school ones, with shirts. It's not that difficult.

OP, you are there for the children more than you are there for the parents, so go with what you think will be best for them. And remember that next time you have this sort of problem.

troisgarcons · 26/01/2012 21:07

TBH most of the ESL ""kids"" probably have far better grammar and punctuation than you ( or I)

BandOMothers · 26/01/2012 21:08

I dont get why it's a competition grub it's not hard either! Google "1940s outfit" look at the pics and make a close copy! How hard is that?

It's not about the parent it's about enhancing your child's education. I think that schools should get a collection of parents who LKE doing costumes...and then those who are too busy will get help. I totally would not mind helping others as I enjoy it. I get that it doesn't come easy to some though.

tarantula · 26/01/2012 21:09

Wouldn't bother me at all tbh esp as its modern dress. Anything shabby and a cardboard box with string and you are away. Particularly easy for the boys too. Its more important that the kids have a good time after the SATs than worrying about a few parents esp if you are providing them with ideas. Its not like you are asking for full on Tudor aristocratic dress or anything.

ByTheWay1 · 26/01/2012 21:12

We had an evacuee day - skirt, blouse, cardi - the kids (I personally don't give a flying fish if you call them kids, children, little darlings, sprogs or monsters - though some MNers do...) all had some of the stuff. Make sensible suggestions including mainly stuff they already own and most folks will just get on with it....

Oh, and they made gas mask boxes as homework - PG-tips box, brown sugar paper from school and a bit of string.

Like most parents, my heart sinks when I see "dress up as.... " on a letter from school however much notice (even with a month's notice it gets done in the last week - hey ho...) - but I've never been out and bought stuff specially - if it can't be done with normal clothes or an old sheet or pillowcase and a belt, then it hasn't been asked for - yet........

grubbalo · 26/01/2012 21:16

Band I think it's a good idea having a team of parents, we all have our strengths - costumes aren't mine! Although I do agree that this would be one I could cope with. The most recent one I have experience of was to come as a woodland animal - fortunately my nephew, not my son - but that is my idea of a nightmare!

Unfortunately some of my friends do see costumes as a chance to show off (to be fair, if I was as good as them and I enjoyed it then I suppose I'd invest the time too - but not the vast cost that some of them incur)!

Original poster

hockeyforjockeys · 26/01/2012 21:27

Trios I actually was referring to the 20 percent of parents in my class who have arrived in the country in the last six months and speak little English, and whom probably have little idea of what I mean when I write and ask to send their child dressed as an evacuee. Just concerned that their children will not have costumes and feel very left out. I'm not a parent and so I don't think like. Therefore I fond it very helpful to ask advice from those who do know what it's like. But if that makes me unfit to be allowed near the public sector then that's fine.

I will word the letter as suggested. Like the idea of asking for extra donations, but I suspect that I won't get enough to make up the shortfall. And yes next year I will try to be more organised!

OP posts:

feedthegoat · 26/01/2012 21:36

I can only think of one occasion that we have had more than a weeks notice for outfit requests at school ds attends so I wouldn't bat an eyelid. It is just par for the course. The times it has happened with 2 or 3 days to go has made me grit my teeth, I prefer at least a weekend to prepare.

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