To feel utterly exhausted & p@@@ed off?

[Twister1]

My job is taxing. I work as many hours as I can but after all our mortgage/ debts/ bills I always always spend a bit more than I earn. My Dds are wonderful but the youngest one wakes at least twice a night. I am finishing a degree part time to try and widen career options but I'm so tired after getting kids to bed I can barely make dinner let alone learn stuff for final exam coming up. My parents are both in poor health and needy and I make a round trip of 150 miles every weekend to see them. DH works unsociable hours, has debts and is facing lean times work wise (self employed). I AM FED UP. Give me a kick up the bum and tell me I'm BU. I need to get myself together and sort out the exhaustion. Thanks. Rant over.

Think you actually need a hug not another kick.

I think you need to firstly look at reducing your debt repayments so you're not getting in debt to pay off your debt.

If your DH is facing lean times (I have a self employed DH too, not the same one... I hope) then he needs to take up some of the child related/household duties so you can study.

Something else really small but which does free up some time is to have 5 really cheap quick meals (that take 15 mins or less to prep and cook) so that the whole dinner shebang becomes a little less stressy.

Do you have siblings who can share the parent responsibility? If not is there any way you could see them 3 weekends out of 4 instead of every weekend?

No wonder you're fed up chuck. x

Woah there yanbu!
Wow I can't beleive how much you have on your plate, which one of your responsibilities is movable/ flexible? Could you put your degree off until next year?
Don't beat yourself up, maybe don't visit your parents this weekend and just rest before you're forced to rest through a cold or another run down related illness.
YADNBU

Thanks aldiwhore. DH is good with doing his share, thank goodness. That's one thing I really don't have to worry about. I think the 3/4 weekends idea is good. If I wasn't so available my siblings might be more so (although one has MH issues which is a whole other thread). If only I could get my youngest to sleep I think the fog in my brain would clear and things would be easier. At the moment I can't think straight and see how to improve finances etc

Thanks nottheblinkinggruff. I think I'll just try and finish degree. On the home straight and already deferred this last bit. I've actually really enjoyed it but just now it feels a chore. I think we need to sort out finances. It's getting a bit scary tbh.

YANBU at all. I'm working f/t and doing a degree p/t. I don't have kids or parental responsibilities and I'm still knackered.

I agree with other people - could you visit your parents less to give yourself a break?

YANBU and You Need a Hug!

With interest rates so low it is a good time to talk to your bank about your debt repayments. For example, can you talk to your bank about taking a mortgage holiday for 3-6 months? Can you use bank financing, like an overdraft (low rates) to pay off credit cards (high rates)?

Don't go to your parents' this weekend. Let your siblings know that you can't go and that if they're worried, it's up to them to visit.

Also, if you are a member of a church or a group of friends from say, your antenatal class, do not be afraid of asking for help! Really it is okay to ask for help! Send around an email that says, I am getting overwhelmed and feel myself sinking. Is there anything you can do to help?

(There is a body of behavioural research that says people ask people to help them from time to time end up being well-liked by the people who help. This is because people convince themselves that they would never help someone that they didn't like, so they must like the person they do a favour for. IYSWIM.)

you need a weekend off travelling. it is very exhausting.