To stop remembering things on my friend's behalf?

[acrystalballwouldbenice]

One of my friends is annoying me right now. She will phone me up to make arrangments for us to meet or go out somewhere then will say "Well make sure you remind me, or I'll forget", so then I'll duly phone or text her the day before to remind her and she'll say "I'd completely forgotten".

I'm getting a bit pissed off with it. She has a diary which is like her bible, it's always in her bag and she seems to write everything else down in there and has often said she couldn't manage without it. So why not write down meeting up with me in there?

WIBU to forget to remind her next time and pretend I've forgotten about meeting up too? BTW I have suggested to her that she writes things in her diary when we make arrangements but clearly she doesn't.

Not unreasonable, no. But maybe you should warn her that you have no intention of reminding her any more.

I was thinking of saying next time "I won't be able to remind you as chances are I will forget about it myself. Why not put it in your diary then you can remind me"

Yes. Good idea.

I have a couple of friends with brains like sieves and remind them all the time. It doesn't really bother me though. Although I was a bit peeved when I arranged to meet my friend for a swim and arrived at the pool to find she had been and gone, and then she texted me to complain that I wasn't there. It turned out she had looked at watch, misread the time and had gone a whole hour earlier than arranged!!!!

I wouldn't mind if this friend had a brain like a sieve but she doesn't as she always seems very organised in every other way. I think it's a power thing in our friendship actually.

Stop reminding her, she is a grown woman and should remember things for herself. I'm not very good at remembering things so I write them down, leave myself notes, put alarms on my phone etc. to make sure I remember. I wouldn't ask anyone elese to remember for me.

Do tell her that you aren't going to remind her though or she will blame you if she forgets something!

I would do as you say; tell her to remind you for once and then just don't turn up to meet her if she doesn't contact you.

I was going to say that YAB(a little) unreasonable, because I always ask people to remind me of things as I do have a brain like a seive!

However, if you suspect its a power thing, it probably is and YANBU.

I have a mate who's very vair busy, I don't have a lot in my diary. Her particular power trip is, when arranging to meet up she asks for dates, then turns them down one by one. it would be much fairer and easier if she gave ME dates, as I'm usually free, but when I've asked its ignored, so yet again I have to throw a thousand dates at her and she knocks them back revelling in the fact that she's got a fab social life. I now simply give her one date and if she can't do it I leave the ball in her court... it doesn't work too well but its her loss, we're meeting for pre-christmas drinks this weekend.

If it is a power thing then that implies she hasn't really forgotten she just says that when you ring to remind her.

Next time it might be amusing to not ring her and then see if she eventually rings you instead because she thinks you have forgotten