for not buying my dcs their own PC/laptop?

[DaisySteiner]

It appears that my 12 yo ds is the only one of his friends not to have his own pc or laptop. Now it appears my 9 yos friends are starting to get them too. I really don't want to start buying them for several reasons:

1. I just don't think it's necessary for them to have their own laptops - we have a family PC and a laptop. They are rarely both in use at the same time, so why would we need another 2?!

1. I don't want my children sitting in their rooms playing on a computer or surfing the internet. Fine in moderation, but I don't want my family life to consist of everybody on their own computer instead of doing things together.

1. Cost - we can afford it, but it just doesn't seem the best use of money. They're going to need replacing every few years, we have 4 children, in practice we'd be spending a few hundred pounds every year just on computers. I can think of things I'd rather do for our family with the money.

Am I being really mean though? I'm not saying I would never get them one, just not until they appear to need it. I don't want them to feel left out or to be made to feel disadvantaged.

YANBU. They have access to family pcs. Same rule in my house. They won't ever get a computer in their rooms until a much older age...eg exam studying time!....I am quite strict in this and people think I am a bit daft. Mine are only 2 and 5 though....but I agree with you

Dependng on circumstances i think a Laptop could be figured into a 13th Birthday, with an upto date Word package on it. Around that age they do want their own space,it depends on after school clubs etc. Mine gave up dance etc at 13 but my middle and eldest are doing well academically.

I think that you should buy to suit your children's personalities/needs and your family set up, not what others have.

YANBU. Mine are 11 and 9 and they have laptops because my Mum gave them one each for Christmas. The 11yo uses it a lot for homework, so for that it is useful because our family PC is ancient and a bugger to use. But otherwise they are a pain in the arse. They have just become something else that I have to monitor time on and then listen to the complaints when I want them to get off when they just want to 'finish this level'.

They would be fine without them.

Ds is 10 and has his own, the vast majority of his homework is based around using a PC - much as I disagree that's just the way it is at his school. Our family computer is a MAC so it made sense to get him a laptop. He is not allowed to take it upstairs and has to use it downstairs where we can keep a close eye on what he's looking at.

YANBU and it's nice to read of your reasons as obviously you have values that you stick to.

So many families are becoming an assortment of people glued to a screen of some description. Stick to your guns on this one.

Maybe the older one can have one if he saves half the money or something.. when he's 14 or so.

YANBU

My 10yo was asking for one gor a whole year but I stuck to my guns for same reasons as you. Now she's not bothered anymore!

My almost 12yr old DD has her "own" laptop and it's needed for school work. It is nothing fancy at all, infact it's probably around 10yrs old and is ugly and heavy but we update the software as needed and it is fit for purpose. She does occassionally watch a film on it with her little sister as they like to snuggle up in bed and watch one and we don't have tv's upstairs so it's a rare treat for them.

My DH is a Software developer and often is working on the home PC and I am a PA and often on my laptop so it made sense for her to have one of our old ones for school/her use.

I certainly wouldn't be buying her the latest upgraded model every couple of years and use is always supervised.

YANBU for doing what you feel works for your family.

YANBU mine dont have laptops we have a perfectly fine pc that we share , I dont buy this oh its for homework etc etc , unless like somebody said they use it for working from home then i can see a point in it , Their is many teens sitting in bedrooms on laptops and parents have no idea what they are up too ,

YANBU - we have a lap top between us all and that is how it will stay!! As long as they have access to A laptop they dont need one of their own.

...forgot to add...if he wants one that bad he could always get a paper round or something like that and save up for one himself! :)

YANBU.

We have a lot of affluent families in our area, out of which most of them have -pandered- bought their children gifts that are a) out of our price bracket (no issue with that, it simply makes a hard situation harder, not their fault) and b) age inappropriate and unnecessary.

My 8 year old has his own monitored profile on my laptop, it serves his needs and wants more than adequately.

My son's best friend got a new Ipad, Ipod, and PS3 for Christmas. Thei choice, but there's no denying that it creates problems for us as DS's requests rise in conjunction with whatever his best mate has. It could be technology, or trainers, it doesn't matter. I refuse to go down the 'keeping up with the Jones' route.

My son has encountered bullying from a group of his 'friends' who all got Skylanders for Christmas, they wouldn't let himin their secret club because he didn't have it. His solution would be for me to get it for him. My solution is to absolutely not! Its not the technology, its the pressure that comes with 'not having'... I feel that its a valuable lesson to not get everything your friends have. Even if it stings.

Agree Betty... there are some things that my son is allowed to have but only if he saves up and pays for it himself. He is able to save, we've just opened his own bank account, separate from his savings account, so that he can have some financial control and so he can truly understand the value of money.

You are not mean-stick to your guns. At that age it is much better to have a shared computer in a family room IMO.

I'm glad nobody thinks I'm a big meanie and it's heartening to hear I'm not the only one.

I'm quite surprised by the number of my friends and acquaintances who would never contemplate a TV in their dcs' bedrooms but think nothing of them having their own computer Up to them though, we all make what we think are the right decisions for our own children I guess.

I agree about them needing access for homework - thing is, ds1 is at home after school 3 days a week for about 2 1/2 hours, so he has plenty of time to use the PC then and we'll always make sure it's free for him if he needs it for homework at other times. Maybe we'll need to reassess this when the ds2 goes to secondary school in a couple of years.

YANBU as long as they have access to a computer for school that is all they need. I'm afraid I would be a meanie too

I can see a case for the 12yo having one actually. From that age onwards my DD increasingly needed a computer for schoolwork.

We have a family PC but often DH or I would want to use that when DD needs it for homework so we got her a laptop for her 12th birthday. If you are worried about internet usage then either get some protection software or insist that the laptop is only used downstairs in the living room or something.

I can see less reason for the 9yo. "Everyone else has got one" is not a good enough reason.

YANBU, as long as they have access to a computer if they need it for homework, it's not essential at all for them to have their own.

Nothing wrong with being a bit 'mean' sometimes - you can't always give them everything their friends supposedly 'all' have!