To get a bit panicky around DDs bedtime

[Sparry]

dd is 3 1/2 and well into the Go the heck to Sleep phase. It's all "I need a drink/cuddle/wee" whined through a knackered little face. I really need my evenings for work and the fact that every night the bedtime routine is getting longer ( sometimes an hour and a half) means my brain has gone to mush by the time I sit down.

YouTube "go the fuck to sleep" read by Samuel Jackson v good

I just don't give in (within reason) once they're in bed it's 95% always a no to requests as otherwise they get you exactly where they want you. I've been doing CCT since DS and DD were born though so maybe it's that I'm thick skinned when it comes to bedtime

I'm guessing this is a stupid Q but CCT - controlled crying summink?

Try pre empting everything - wee as part of the bedtime routine, potty in bedroom for emergencies, sports bottle full of water near the bed?

Not sure about the cuddle one. I'm soft and would say maybe she needs a cuddle? But then I still stay until DS is asleep and often fall asleep with him.

Controlled Crying Technique ... So I'm used to being tough mummy at bedtime and they're used to the no quibble bedtime! (does not mean they dont try it on!)

I do the wee before bed, sports bottle on the wardrobe preempting thing as said above

Oh and lots of cuddles and stories etc but before bedtime as before head on the pillow time ffs reading my posts sounds like I sling 'em in bed and bugger off out!

yy to Controlled crying

But that name suggests they will be crying all the time- she might not

It means zero chat/interaction and the times between visits in gets further and further apart

Hour and a half faaaar too long (but you know that)

I'm with Bertie. Usually give in to the cuddle whilst quietly worrying about getting another hours work in and eating a non-processed meal. Just viewed the You Tube of SLJ - hilarious! Made my night.

Cyb - I do know that. But I'm awful at whining - makes me cross. And when she's actually under, sorry, asleep, she's so cute.

Agree no chat past a certain time though. I'll happily lie with him, even get into bed, but he must lie still and not be wriggly/fidgety or talking, otherwise he's not really relaxing ready to go to bed and I go downstairs (warning first obv).

I can normally tell these days when there's something genuinely wrong (usually hunger or needing a poo, or the time when DP let him drink coke at about 6pm ) because he literally can't seem to stop jigging about whereas usually once he realises I'm serious he does settle down and lie still, and then he falls asleep. He's like me though, finds it hard to switch off. I'm hoping that the insistence on stillness and silence is helping him find his own way to do that. He does usually fall asleep very quickly after the initial calm down period.

Yes theyre all gorgeous when they are asleep

Dont engage , dont chat, dont listen to whingeing

Short bedtime routine making sure all needs met eg drink, soft toy, hug , story whatever. Then kiss goodnight and GO

I know what you mean about panicking - for me it was more of a dread.
Agree with cyb.

Ha glad you liked it OP it's a bit like the CCT not for everyone

I did used to do the chat thing, BTW, but once I realised he does exactly as I do - I mean, DP tells me to shut up and go to sleep when he finally gets fed up at around 3am - I just decided, well, it's never actually anything important, and he gets plenty of chance to speak to me in the day, so I just say "Ssssssh, it's night time, no talking." over whatever he's saying and repeat.

Ha my poor little lambs get one "mummy lives you but now it's time for sleep" then just put back into bed and not another word it works for us but I realise it's not for everyone.

They are both amazing sleepers though

I don't know how you'd feel about this, but we sometimes put on a CD with favourite songs or a story on (more and more often she chooses a story now). Dd is 3 (and 2 weeks!) and we've been doing this for about 6 months. It started because when she was starting to drop her afternoon nap,sometimes needing one and sometimes not, (so sometimes havging had too much sleep, and sometimes not enough and so well over-tired) she could be a bugger to settle at bedtime. Putting a CD on of a favourite book (on repeat, very quietly) gave her something to do, she didn't pester us so we got an evening, and if you choose the right volume they have to lie quite still and quiet to hear it which encourages them to sleep. We don't do it every night, only if she's restless or if she asks for it. I use the same method myself if I can't switch off...

I used to sit outside the bedroom door with a book.
"You have just been to the toilet you don't need to go again. its bedtime. Goodnight" etc etc, calmly for the first few times.
then the patience would get thinner and it would be. Bedtime. Goodnight, put DC back into the bed. Repeat as often as necessary until they stopped coming out of the bedroom. This was done for a few nights in a row until they realised that going to bed meant exactly that.
Of course there is the singing in the room, the talking to the toys etc until they were ready to fall asleep, or the nights they decided to get all the toys out again, but on the whole the few nights on the landing with a book helped enormously