Dd's cookery!..... again!

[mrsshears]

Tell me if iabu on this one please.
Dd 14 has cookery tomorrow and as per usual she is telling me this the night before,in addition she has no ingredient list and wants to phone her friend to ask her what they need to bring.
The last time this happened,which was also the last time she had cookery, i told dd if it were to happen again( not getting herself organised and also not giving me enough notice to buy the ingredients) she would not be able to do the cookery class,aibu to carry this threat out? it seems harsh but if i don't then i know she will do this everytime and i really want to teach her to be organised,what do you think?

No Yanbu she needs to get herself organised thats something i do if mine forget , and with it being cookery its such a faff trying to get all her stuff , maybe a bit of a telling off from her teacher and she will remember what she has to do , My dds school you pay yearly for home economics and they provide everything so no forgetting or scrambling for a cassarole dish

I went out at 7am this morning to buy ingredients for Food tech today. DS told me a week ago what ingredients he needed, I duly got the non standard item in, and then realised last night at 11 we had run out of cheddar. I was therefore quite prepared to shop this morning as it was my fault.

In your situation I would be sorely tempted to carry out your threat, writing a note to the teacher as others have said explaining what has happened.

I'd find out what the ingredients are and what I needed to get. If I could get it easily - at the nearest shop which was open until whenever - I'd send dd out to get it. If she could pick it,up on the way to school then she can do that.

I would also make sure that I ask her two days before her cookery lesson what she needs. If she doesn't tell you then, then she will ultimately have to go in without the stuff.

My dd did this a lot too. The last time, I refused to get the stuff, but dh went off to Tesco at 6.30 in the morning and got it (dd's teacher was notorious for giving out detentions, and dd had never had one then).

DH spent several weeks thereafter reminding dd what a wonderful dad he was for going out at 6.30am to get her food etc etc etc. she clearly found that consequence sufficient to remind her to tell me what was needed in time

Right decision made!
I repeated to dd what was said last time and that i felt that as not only had she not got her ingredient list (it turns out she has lost that) but she had been pre-warned what would happen if she gave me next to no notice again,so she had left me with no alternative and she would have to miss this weeks practical.
Not a happy dd but i just feel i have to make a stand to avoid this malarkey every week,which is more or less what has been happening.
She is generally very disorganised and i think she needs to learn the effects of this >>mean mum emoction

I think you are doing the right thing, and you're not being mean. I think teens seem to go through this phase at this age; I remember being like this for quite a while, regardless of the stance my parents took!

Do you not have a local shop mrsshears? Is not something she can solve herself?

YABU every 14 year old in the country has an agreement not to look for ingredients for cookery lessons until the night before. It is the teenage law.

and it is the mum law not to have their evenings ruled by stupid teenage laws wheredidyoulastseeit

HaHaHa - I've outfoxed him! DS said last night he thinks he's got cookery next Wednesday but had handed in his book - with the recipe and if there was an ingredients list it was pasted inside.

I emailed the teacher, got a lesson outline, background notes and the ingredients list emailed back to me

If you threatened her you would do this you had no choice but following it through. If you hadn't then it would have happened again and again.

I think the note is a good suggestion though, otherwise she could tell the teacher it was you not providing what she needed rather than her disorganisation!

why cant she just go shopping on her way to school in the morning?

Oh the joys of school cookery. Both my DCs did this.
Once in revenge after late night panic for bolognese type ingredients I sent my son in with a wad of enough mince for the whole family's tea ( instead of the piddling 200 g they asked for) and told him to tell them ' mum says as she had no warning I have to bring what she was going to make for dinner tonight' He never forgot after that.

If she had any sense she'd phone her friend anyway and sort it out herself. If she were 10 it'd be different but at 14....

Agree she should have got the list before speaking to you, if you said this would happen then yes you need to do it.

No OP, YANBU.

My DS is 13. This is also an issue with him. I've found myself out at 10pm more than once getting the ingredients after being faced with a panicked son the night before cookery!

I have told him quite clearly that the next time it happens he will be going in with no ingredients and I will email the school to explain why.

It hasn't been necessary yet, but if it is, I WILL follow through with it.

I have an arrangements with other mothers to let their DDs be ready to double up ingredients at the last minute. It works pretty well!

My DD's teacher is keen for them to do all their weighing out and measuring in the lesson, so there is always plenty of ingredients to go around, and lots of trading. She is also very happy to substitute one ingredient for another, unless it is a base ingredient. After all, it's what we all do at home, and they have to learn to be adaptable. This is Home Economics though, rather than food technology.

We have this every week.
I start asking for her ingredients list on Monday ready for lessons on Thursday and Friday, and every week she ends up cooking on Friday or not at all because she hasn't got herself organised.
What makes it worse is she is doing this as a gcse.