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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not let my MIL stay 6 days after my due date?

11 replies

lovelybadger · 25/01/2012 12:59

My MIL lives abroad, but has been in the UK for the last 2 1/2 months dealing with some family business, though they have been sitting around twiddling their thumbs a lot by their own admittance.

They have made no effort to drive the 3 hour journey to see us - even though we've invited them several times - especially over Christmas when the children were off school and we weren't working. Last night they called to say that they want to stay for 'a night or two' 6 days after our 3rd baby's due! They are tagging seeing us on to travelling to or from a beer festival they want to go to with friends.

We have a small, full house which we're trying to sell. They have a dog, which they expect to stay with us too. On that date I could feasibly be 6 days overdue, actually in labour or have a baby under 2 weeks old. I can't cope with the cooking and cleaning, plus I'm planning a home birth, and the sofa bed in the baby's room is reserved for my mum who will be coming to help with my older two and support me. They've never made an effort to get to know our DCs, so they don't know them at all, and the timing of their visit has nothing to do with wanting to help or wanting to meet the new baby.

So I have said that they can't stay under any circumstances. They are welcome to visit, but they have to in a hotel or B&B (they're loaded). I think that's reasonable, so does DH. They're acting all put out.

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 25/01/2012 13:04

YANBU in the slightest. I'm glad your DH is on your side.

They'll get over it. Give them your best Smile and a list of local hotels.

mrstiredandconfused · 25/01/2012 13:08

Yadnbu - they basically want to treat your home as a hotel and have no regard for you or your family. So they are put out? Sod it- let them stew in their own juice and stand your ground.

LadyWidmerpool · 25/01/2012 13:11

YADNBU!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/01/2012 13:12

YANBU!! My Dsis came to stay with us 2 weeks before DS was due on the understanding that if the baby came early she would go and stay with someone else (she had her 11 month old ds with her). Needless to say, DS was early, DH asked her to go and stay with another family member as agreed and it all kicked off....my whole family made out like we were chucking her out on the streets, it was bloody hideous and ruined my first couple of weeks as a new mum.

Def stand your ground!

empirestateofmind · 25/01/2012 13:13

YADNBU and I can't believe they are making a fuss under the circumstances. It never ceases to amaze me how inconsiderate people can be. Thank goodness you and DH are on the same page.

TheCuntwormUnderfoot · 25/01/2012 13:13

No
No
No
No.

Glad your DH is on board. Short answer is, if you want your already poor relationship to be fractured beyond repair, have them to stay! I GUARANTEE you will fall out, especially if this is their attitude now.

What scroungers!

MissVerinder · 25/01/2012 13:15

YADNBU.

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/01/2012 13:17

They're put out? So they should be. With the bins!

Brambule · 25/01/2012 13:17

Jeez, not at all. It's bonkers for them to even suggest doing it (never mind acting put out!). Would be a definite NO from me.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 25/01/2012 13:18

YANBU - there won't be space to stay as your mum will already be there, a person who isn't using your spare room as an alternative to a hotel but is there to help and support you.

lovelybadger · 25/01/2012 13:25

Grin whereyouleftit!

Thank you. I feel very emotional about the whole thing. But most of all, I can't actually believe that they think it's ok!

My mum, apart from being my mum, stayed to look after ds when dd was born. She arrived when I started contracting, support me through the first stage of labour getting up with me in the wee hours of the morning, and then stayed with ds until we got home from hospital. At which point, she made us a lovely lunch and then left us to it. Perfect!

They are bonkers. And really thoughtless. My DH is annoyingly nice to them, whereas I have renamed MIL's husband 'Cunty Balls'! But, yes, at least he can see that it would be beyond ridiculous. And as fond of her as he is, he doesn't feel comfortable with his mum.

OP posts:
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