AIBU to think that I need to step in

[lolaflores]

DD2 reception class at school. A few kids in her class from her pre school. All get on and have the usual love ins and bust ups. However, one child seems to be focusing alot of unpleasant remarks to my DD. DD2 is close to one little boy, so Madam suggests he is really her friend. Said to DD2 yesterday whilst in dressing that her tummy was too big to get into a dress. DD2 told me this morning what had been said and to be honest I am getting a teeny bit fed up with the carry on. I wouldn't mind if it was an isolated incident but starting to get up me nose now. Feel very annoyed. I know the mum well, she struggles with her as well.
Am I over reacting? I don't want to be super arsey mum, but DD2 is hurt and confused as to why her friend is being so nasty to her

It all sounds like the perfectly normal goings on in a reception classroom, but I would mention it to the teacher because whilst it is normal, at the same time they all need to learn to be kind to each other. That whole respecting each other, that each other are different, that we can be friends with someone and still like someone else, that "I'm Ok" starts in reception.

The teacher will do a circle time to begin to address it.

You won't be being super arsey if you just "have a quick word" with the teacher to bring something to her attention. I usually just say "DD was a bit worried about coming to school this morning. We had a chat and she said that...." so that you're approaching it gently.

Good luck and so it begins! You wait till she's in year 3!

One of the girls in DD's reception class was horrible to DD (she was horrible to everyone, but DD in particular). I talked to DD's teacher about it every time DD came home upset and by the middle of the school year it had stopped and the horrid girl became a much nicer girl.

IMO if you put up with low grade nastyness like this it always escalates to full blown bullying. Zero tolerance is the only way and thank goodness that is the attitude at DD's school too.

Thanks peeps. I know the mum, but didn't want to pull her on it. I don't think we know half of what goes on or what our little darlings are capable of in school. It was just a bit of a shock about zoning in on her tummy?! And the fact that it hit home with DD2.
Shall speak with Teacher this pm.

Cheers for now

speak with teacher, def, but say nothing to mother as it might get messsy xx

I would speak to the teacher. Like Callisto says, this sort of thing does lead to bullying unless it's nipped in the bud.

Also have a chat with your DD about suitable responses to the girl so she makes it clear that she will not tolerate being spoken to like that "That wasn't kind" "Stop it, that's not nice" or "That was a rude thing to say" or even "I am not interested in what you think about me".

girls can be really mean to each other I think you should mention it to the teacher so she is aware of it , You dd shouldnt be going to school and upset , Is ok to go in you wont look like an arsey mum at all ,

Are you sure it was meant horribly?

I'm just thinking that reception class will mean they're only 4/5 years old and at that age, kids are often blunt and say what they see.

Obviously I don't know how big your DD's tummy is, but if for example it is big and her dress is a bit tight over it, the little girl might be more blunt than nasty IYSWIM?

I think you're probably right, Worra, but the teacher would still need to know because then she can talk about being unkind.

Children really are just "say what you see" aren't they!

Until they (usually learn) that that's not always polite!