AIBU to think that all schools have a bullying problem?

[warmandwooly]

Be it a major one or minor one. I was discussing this with a friend of mine the other day. Both of us bullied at school.

Yes, YABU.

Children are unkind to each other sometimes - the little ones have to learn stuff like empathy and treating others as you would be treated.

However, I don't think that's the same as having a "bullying problem", which sounds like an endemic problem unaddressed by staff. That is (hopefully) pretty rare these days.

Not sure

I would say most schools have bullying, whether it's a problem or not depends upon the ethos and action of the teacher

This is the received wisdom, and the mantra here (and elsewhere) is that if a school says there is never bullying there, then swerve it if you can.

But this doesn't mean it is going on in all schools all th time.

And you do have to keep an eye on what definition anyone is using. The parts which refer to the sustained, targeted and hidden nature of bullying (as opposed to other bad short term behaviour) are sometimes blurred.

Depends.

All school have bullies. Whether its a problem or swiftly dealt with another matter entirely.

I'm afraid bullies abound in all walks of life and the younger you are in learning to deal with it the better, becasue even if you don't meet these people at school, you will at work.

A bullying problem us different to there being occasional bullying.

I would never trust a headmaster who said there was never any bullying at his school.

YABU.

Not all schools do have a bullying problem. That's not to say that bullying doesn't happen at the school, just that isolated incidents are dealt with quickly and effectively and it's not endemic.

I too would never trust a Head Teacher that said there was never any bullying. I just think "you've got your head in the sand and will do anything to avoid the 'bullying' label being attached to a situation which is ultimately very unhelpful to all concerned".

I much prefer a HT who says "I'd like to say there's no bullying at our school, but that would be a lie. Bullying happens everywhere. However..." and then goes on to outline their clear and effective Bullying Policy.

Have I said the same as everyone else? Just checked. Pretty much!

What other posters have said.

Some schools have a chronic bullying problem. In other schools bullying crops up occasionally and is dealt with swiftly and efficiently.

Thankfully dcs' schools (3 to date) have been in the latter category. I have occasionally had the reason to go in and raise a problem: it has always between dealt with straightaway and there has never been a resurgence.

A bit like nits: inevitable that they will crop up, not inevitable that they stay. Some parents work tirelessly with the fine tooth comb until they have eradicated them, others resign and decide you can't do anything or else they deny that their little darling has them.

I would never send my children to a school where the headteacher stated that "we never have bullying", any more than I would send them to a school where the headteacher said "of course our children never get nits". I prefer headteachers not to have their heads in the clouds.

All schools have bullying, some school?s have a bullying problem
A bullying problem happens through mismanagement of bullying.

Some schools adopt a ?certain pupils are natural targets,? ?certain pupils are natural bullies,? approach. In my experience those who do this, and have a bullying problem, tend to have bullying from the top down through the staffroom, and support staff as well. I?ve known some badly bullied teachers, and always at schools with a bullying problem.

And you do have to keep an eye on what definition anyone is using. The parts which refer to the sustained, targeted and hidden nature of bullying (as opposed to other bad short term behaviour) are sometimes blurred.

Totally agree, but also the problems between little children struggling with empathy etc, can be completely different from those of hardened older students.
There is also a modern definition where what in all other circumstances (except possibly prisons) would be serious crime or attempted crime by feral thugs provided with corralled prey, is hidden under the term ?bullying? because it?s happening in a school situation, and staff are too frightened/ pressured from above to manage it.
That, needs blowing out of the water.

Sniggers gratefully at Maryz. :o (for reducing the emotional tsunami caused by remembering just what I made my poor child endure before wising up.)

Alll schools will have bullies. They are a sad fasct of life.

It is how the school deal with said bullies that is the issue. That and how we as parents deal with the situation should our own DC be either the bullied or the bully.

YADNBU. I work in my local LA and learned that very quickly. I now tell friends if a school says they don't have any bullying, they are lying, and I know this to be true as I have experienced it in the past with DS1.

I think all schools have children in them, all children can be unkind at times, all children can cause upset at times and occassionally there will be a bonafide bully working their way through school.

I agree that every school will house a bully at some point, but I don't believe every school has a bullying 'problem'.

My son was picked on last year and it was sorted very quickly. The school were great. The school doesn't have a bullying problem.

My children's school recently did a big parent consultation exercise, with a view to feeding the results back to Ofsted as part of the parentview thing.

The only item that people didn't have a strong opinion about was how good the school's bullying policy was. Ofsted has recently been in and were entirely unworried about the lack of opinion on that subject. Their reasoning being, if parents have no opinion about the bullying policy, it indicates that bullying is dealt with promptly and effectively, so parents don't get the chance to become worried.