To be sitting crying?

[EllenandBump]

I dont really even know what started me thinking. Tomorrow will be exactly 5 years since my FIL passed on and he was like a dad to me. Tonight all of a sudden i have started to feel really sad, about him and the two i lost before my little boy, the first one he would have had a month with. And for some reason i just keep crying, although me and my H have now split and are divorcing i still call my FIL Dad, sometimes as if he is still here, i know he would have helped me get back on my feet again, it just hurts soo much to have lost him. He was the closest thing to a dad i ever had, i lost my biological father aged 15months so never knew him.

Awww Ellen :( I'm sorry

hello op - did not want to leave you unanswered - perhaps the best place for this post is bereavement ? take care x

The clues are in your post, it's not unreasonable, it's totally understandable, anniversary, circumstances, all of that unquantifiable pain. Let it out, you're grieving.

Poor you.............try to get some sleep and be kind to yourself. No need to be superwoman

It is perfectly normal. you are going through a stressful time at the mo with the divorce so it is only natural to want to turn to someone who would have given you support, especially as they are in your mind anyway due to the anniversary.

However if you feel your grief for either the death or divorce is getting out of control you should seek some help to support you at this time.

just remember it will get easier.

Ellen, grief can come out at any time and sometimes when you are least expecting it. Just because you lost your Dad as a baby, doesn't detract from the fact that you did lose your Dad, so you are quite possibly grieving for him too.
We have a lovely thread on Bereavement called Anyone is grieving for a parent here if you'd like to come on for a read or chat. It's a lovely, friendly thread. Warning though. You might be (((hugged)))

You are expressing your true and honest feelings, why don't you sit and tell your FIL how much you miss him, how glad you were to know him and how he made a difference to your life.
Then as your child grows keep FIL alive for them too by talking about him and telling stories.
My grandchildren tell me stories about my Nanna who died long before they were born because I love to talk about her and my mother.
These are natural feelings, be kind to yourself.
Bless you and here's a cwtch xx

So sorry, it sounds like you have had a tough few years. I cry some days because my 8yo DD never met her nana, my mum died when I was pregnant with her, there is often no particular trigger but she is always in my thoughts.

YADNBU. As others have said, it is perfectly natural to miss someone you love and it sounds like you are going through a stressful time at the moment.

Take care of yourself and here are some very un-mumsnetty hugs (((xxx)))

You poor thing Ellen.

You are dealing with such a lot right now, hope you find peace x

Hugs, ELlen it's not silly to cry.
DD2 and I have been known to sit having a hug and cry for the Granny she never met. DMIL died while I was pregnant very suddenly. DD2 is named after her.
She died 11 years ago, but I still miss her eccentric zest for life and her love of nature. I don't suppose I'll ever see a unknown flower in the hedge and not think damn it M would have known what that is called.

Thank you all soo much. Today has been tough, but i have had plenty of tough days but still gotten through it. Thanks to everyones support, which is much appreciated. Thank you all. xx