to think that normal people do not answer 'how are you?' with 'yes'.

[AtYourCervix]

watch eastenders and jot down how many times beople answer

Ar are ya? with yeah......

or worse

wotcher doin? yeah.......

it is not a normal pattern of speech is it?

My nephew has taken to saying 'yaraaat?' as a greeting in a Jamaican patois type style.

He is from Luton.

If it's a salesman cold calling the correct response is a complete run down of every twitch and twinge you have experienced in the last 12 months, including as many fantasy-ailments as you can be bothered to come up with. You will finish your account with a slightly deranged or tearful (your choice) "How do you think I am?". It is great fun.

I object to total strangers phoning me, becoming immediately over-familiar and then asking "and how are you today, Jux? I can call you Jux, can't I Jux?". For that, there are no holds barred.

YANBU!

How are you should be met with a "fine thanks" type of response.

Alright? (and other variations) are asking a Yes / No question in my opinion so then acceptable so respond accordingly.

"I'm good" also gets on my nerves! Isn't it an American term to answer such a question? I think they've used it for a long time but only been hearing it more often over here over the past couple of years.

Going slightly off topic, I keep here "I could care less" in replace of "I couldn't care less." I've tried explaining many times that if you could care less then you care much more than you're claiming to. Nobody seems to understand it. Drives me up the wall!

Although when I get unwanted sales calls and they start off trying to be all friendly and ask how I am I find a run down of how tired and stressed I am is a conversation stopper :)

Should have read past page 1 I see Jux has similar tactics :)

Fine is a synonym for good and vice versa. If you can say "not bad" as a response then it's slightly ridiculous to object to "good", which is the opposite of bad, after all. "Good" is not restrained in meaning to a behavioural pattern or moral code; one can be in good health, feeling good, etc. etc. therefore it's way too pernickety to object to "I'm good thank you" as a response to "how are you".

Moving on - OP - "yes" (if that's what it actually was as opposed to "yeah, y'know...") is a bit of a confusing answer and would suggest the person hadn't actually listened to the question.

Here in Australia, every checkout person is likely to ask "how are you yer?" as a matter of course - they don't expect any response other than "good thanks", if that.

tigerlilly - the "I could care less" is apparently an Americanism wherein they appear to have misunderstood the whole concept; or they attempt to suggest that it's shorthand for "I could care less if I tried but really I can't be bothered" but mostly I think it's the first one. It's creeping in because it crops up in American novels a lot and so pervades the language.

I loathe all the Americanisms, like saying 'good' all the time. 'I'm good', the food's 'good' etc and 'could care less' and 'pissed' when you mean 'pissed off'.

My kids have started saying things were 'so fun', wtf?!

When I was learning English at school in France I was told that you have to say "how do you do", and the other person would answer with "how do you do"

I have been living in England for about 8 years, and no one had EVER greeted me with "how do you do" as yet.

Maybe I should start moving in different circles? :o

Fine and good are pretty much the same thing in this context, people. If you think "I'm good" is a reference to personal virtue, you could say "I'm fine" is a reference to your sartorial elegance or breeding.

If someone asks you' How are you?' the correct response is 'fine thanks'. It is not ever acceptable to tell them the precise and detailed state of your health.

Bout ye?

Ah but Orm - if someone asks "How are you doing?" when they know the answer has the potential to be long and involved then they only have themselves to blame if it is. Although to be fair, I used to give the asker the option for the long and truthful or short and inaccurate answer. :)

Oh excellent thread! I need to learn all this. A totalof 17 years in London, and I have never worked out the correct responses to yarite and howya.

The kind of things that I encounter on the school run that seem to not demand much of a reply is usually stuff like :

"What a miserable old morning this is"
"What wonderful whether we have this morning"

Both cheerily in passing on rainy days!

And once

"oh, I thought you were skipping to school in your clogs this morning" - that one I could only smile at, as he was referring to the sound of my son carrying his scooter across the railway crossing, but it was heavy and hit every single step with a metal clang"

what on earth is wagwan?

SPB wahgwan is 'whats going on' in jamaican.

jasperjohns you speak for me too.

By the way how do you answer "Whaaaasssup???"

I believe the correct response is "Whaaasssssssssssssup???" kiki.

We are often greeted with 'Eh Up? to which the correct response is 'Ryt!' or
don't know how to type it but sounds like 'I'

When telephone cold callers ask me how I am, I usually reply, in my haughtiest tone something like, 'sorry? How am I today? What possible relevance can it be to you to know how I am?'

They usually cut me off at this point.

If it's a salesman cold calling the correct response is a complete run down of every twitch and twinge you have experienced in the last 12 months, including as many fantasy-ailments as you can be bothered to come up with. You will finish your account with a slightly deranged or tearful (your choice) "How do you think I am?". It is great fun.

I object to total strangers phoning me, becoming immediately over-familiar and then asking "and how are you today, Jux? I can call you Jux, can't I Jux?". For that, there are no holds barred.

Love it, Jux.

oh i'm doing that one next time jasper!

DaenerysTargaryenButCallMeDany "eh" only creeps in sometimes now, luckily. But I do still say "oot" and "aboot"!

Any other Canadians aboot?

my dp lived in canada for 10 years so has a lot of canadian sayings and accents, he's been here for 15 years though so they are getting fewer and fewer as time goes by. He still says diaper, trash can, trunk, (of car) sidewalk an so on.

My DC's are at the age where they find underwear hilarious so I have to be very careful to say trousers and not pants