FFS why will they never punish the bully

[maypole1]

news/article-2091080/Mothers-fury-school-suggests-ginger-son-taught-isolation-stop-bullies-taunts-hair.html

I don't care we're the artical Is from what I want to know why is it that schools always was to punsish the victim and never tackle the bully ffs

When my son was being bullied I was told we he need to thin about what he brings to the table of he starts liking the mainstream maybe they other children won't bully him

For gods sake

What message dose this send out to the bully's I feel every sad for the boy and the bully's never getting the message that bullying is wrong

news/article-2091080/Mothers-fury-school-suggests-ginger-son-taught-isolation-stop-bullies-taunts-hair.html

Why isn't the convert link box working?

Anyway, I agree Maypole it's ridiculous

I thought that attitude went out with the ark

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2091080/Mothers-fury-school-suggests-ginger-son-taught-isolation-stop-bullies-taunts-hair.html

Finally

Looks like the school uses restorative justice - just like ours - I dont disagree with it - but it doesnt work in all cases - my ds is going thru her 3rd restorative chat with her bully - things are ok for a few days then the bullying just starts all over again. There are no consequences for the Bully - my child is made to feel part of the problem. This is where RJ falls down - there doesnt seem to be a back up plan with RJ just doesnt work with a child. DH talking about taking matters into his own hands and speaking directly with the bully parents.

"Roger Gilbert, headteacher of Yate International Academy, claimed Ms Walsh had misunderstood the situation.
He said the 'inclusion unit' was simply a place where Tyler could go a receive support and tell staff how he was feeling, but that he will still be taught with his peers.
Mr Gilbert also claimed that Ms Walsh went to the media with her grievance instead of speaking to the school first.
He added: 'The unit does not teach children - it just helps them talk about what happened.
'Tyler would be taught with his normal class and would not be separated. This situation is not as it has been reported. I was only aware of Emma's complaints after I was contacted by the press about it."

Benbecca please tell him not to

From not on make sure any dealings on this matter is in writeing make a final meeting with school but this time make it plan in their is no plan in writing to deal with this you will be contacting ofsted

Dealing with the child or parents direct is a big no no

Miette was the head contacted by the press before or after the mother removed the boy from the school

Did they not think to ask why the boy was no longer coming. To school

And even if their is some sort of a feelings room again we don't need victim talked to we need the bully punished

Thanks Maypole, it is incredible how high you emotions can get when your child is involved. Will take your advice.

I'm not sure. I agree that schools need to have a zero tolerance approach to bullying. My girls aren't at high school yet, but the RJ thing that Benbecca mentioned sounds a bit feeble. It would be interesting if any high school teachers could come on and say how bullying is dealt with. I know at our local high school there is an isolation unit where children have to go if they bully. When i looked around one high school i asked about bullying and the head said that the worst incident they had was of a boy with red hair. Apparently there had been some twitter campaign against kids with red hair or something. (Can't remember the details.) It's a worry as my youngest has red hair. She is only 4, but high school will come soon enough.

An inclusion unit is exactly where that child should be. Like the article said he would still be taught with everyone else. An inclusion unit is a safe place where a child can go during free time and a staff team that do thier best to help the pupil come to terms with what is happening and come up with strategies to deal with it.

Its not some kind of classroom for the 'specials'. (How offensive is that?)

Can't comment on the punishment, we have no idea of the background or how the school is really dealing with it.

Attitudes to bullying stink. My daughter's headteacher told me that the only reason my daughter was bullied was because she kept trying to make friends with the other children. If she just left them all alone, they'd leave her alone. Beggars belief really.

PS. There does seem to be a bit of a fashion at the moment to make out that the victim is part of the problem as you and Benbecca have mentioned and it is appalling and is a copout for the teachers IMO. If they can say that the victim is causing it then it takes the responsibility away from them to deal with it.

Sorry my post didn't make any sence

Right make sure all meeting are followed up with a letter

Get hold of the schools bullying policy

Then make a final meeting outlining the steps you will take if no action is taken

Make it clear you will contact

The LEA
The department of education
Ofsted
Police (harrsement is illegal)
MP

Give them a clear amount of time to deal with this say 17 days after which you will send off letters to the relevant people and they will of course get a copy off

Make sure they send you after 5 days a letter out lining their actions and steps

at every school I have worked at there has been an inclusion unit. The department is staffed by mentors/TA etc who have all received special training in how to best support a child/offer guidance who are struggling at school/being bullied/issues at home/issues within school.

They often arrange appointments with the children in their remit in lesson times (for maybe 1 lesson a week/fortnight/month depending on the severity of the situation) in order for the child and the adult to have a civilised discussion with some form of privacy).

These units also have drop in sessions during break/lunch so any student can speak to them about any issues.

In the units that I have experience of, the only time a student is in there for any length of time is when they are a new starter in difficult circumstances or a school refuser for example.

I really can't believe that the mum in this story has the correct version of events, which only goes to show that a parent should get both sides before blasting the school.......

Agencies like Beatbullying, Kidscape, etc are very very clear that the victim must not be blamed, but schools often don't go along with that.

Cricket balls but

If they punished the bully their would be no need for special units

In my view after warnings, reports, parents in if yu won't stop then out you must go

Why should the victim have special meetings it's the bully who needs the talking to

It would take all my strength not to try and deal with something like this myself after the school has failed him so badly, I would probably be arrested for approaching the bully.

That aside as the mother of a red head DD I am going to make sure that she owns her gingerness.

The special units are not just for bully victims but those victims that do attend are given a lot of help and advice about how to deal with it (not just for school but outside of school and for their later life).

The trouble is though; schools/LAs are penalised if they exclude kids (especially permanently). Therefore it is a catch 22 situation which has been forced on schools - damned if they do, damned if they don't which is why systems like 'restorative' are brought in to try and help the situation.

Whilst i don't agree with government policy about this, it is the reality of the situation that those in state education have to deal with (as much as we might really want a child to be excluded!)

Have to agree with the last couple of comments, my DS is still at primary school and I hate having to send her to school each morning saying "hopefully everything will be ok today". ~But am definately going to take Maypoles advice and take things further with the schol authorities if nothing is done this time.

Just on the point of RJ, it is very effective but only if used correctly by people who have been trained. There are three key elements:

1. The "victim" must want RJ to be used as a solution-it is THEIR choice to use this method otherwise other sanctions should be used

2. The "offender" must admit they have done something wrong and want to "put it right"-it is up to the person running the RJ to judge this (we all know how some children can make the right noises but not actually mean it!)

3)Their should be a written agreement at the end, where the "offender" (and where needed other parties) agree to future behaviour. It should be clearly explained what the consequences should be if this agreement be broken. In some cases it's also useful to set a "review" date to see check the situation, especially in cases of bullying (this can be days, weeks then months on).

There are other elements that are also involved but these are the main ones.

Sadly, I think some schools have jumped on the RJ bandwagon but have no real training/understanding. RJ isn't feeble, it can be very powerful in making, especially bullies, understand the impact of their behaviour but it does need to be done correctly.

At my school their are several members of staff who are trained to run conferences. This has led to a fall in exclusions, a shift in behaviour (more responsibility taken) and a generally nicer place to be as there is a general raised awareness of how your actions affect others.

Benbecca I'd go back to the school and question why your DD is on her 3rd agreement. Demand that a consequence be drawn into the agreement if the bully continues (which should be in line with the school's anti-bullying policy).

Thanks for all the advice - I am feeling much more positive about this now. Littlepie the things that seems to be missing from my DD RJ "chats" are a review date and a consequence should the bullying continue, I think that where we have felt very let down by the school. There seems to be no consequence for continued bad behaviour

It isn't acceptable in the workplace or in society, why is bullying "acceptable" at school". I sometimes think it may be because the peopel who are attracted to teaching are those who loved school and were round little pegs in round little holes and who have no perception of what it is like for the sensitive child who feels they don't fit in.

I think that if a child is bullying again and again, despite the school trying their damndest to deal with it in various ways and/or if they are preventing other children from learning by being disruptive, then they should be excluded and sent to a unit where they get intensive help to change. I really think it needs to be made much easier to exclude children who are making everyone's lives difficult.