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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

re: chicken pox and infection risk

20 replies

nailak · 24/01/2012 18:22

So my dd1 has chicken pox, it is all scabbed over now. On advice from dd2s nursery she had been still going, and a friend has been dropping her off and picking her up for me.

tomorrow I am going to send dd1 back to school. Usually on Wednesday afternoons I have a meet up with friends in one of their houses while dd1 and dd2 are at schoool/nursery.

They have told me not to come as ds3 may be carrying virus,

Even though he is allowed to go stay and play etc? And 5 days later he has no symptoms?

Are they being a bit psb about their babies? Or wibu for assuming it would be ok for me to go?

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 24/01/2012 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lexie1970 · 24/01/2012 18:26

Hi

DS had chicken pox in week before Xmas - I believe he was the first. Everybody in reception who had not had it, started to come out in spots by NYE. Siblings were still catching it last week .....

There you go - a month later and the virus is still doing the rounds. They are not really BU especially if the babies are small and could anybody be pregnant???

You need to leave it another couple of weeks I think....

MrsMcEnroe · 24/01/2012 18:27

You will probably get strong reactions from both sides of the camp on this one.

My feeling is that your friends are possibly being a little pfb about their babies but it depends on how old the babies are (cpox is not a pleasant illness and it is particularly horrible in babies) and whether they have any other underlying health issues .... I also think that you were being a little U in assuming that it would be fine for your to turn up as usual - let's face it, chances are that your DS3 is carrying the virus already.

Cpox is not simply a harmless childhood disease. For some people it can lead to serious complications (and even death if they are immunosuppressed).

I hope your DCs are all OK now and that, if your DS3 does get cpox, he gets over it quickly! You must be sick and tired of itching, scratching and calamine lotion by now Smile

Lumiya · 24/01/2012 18:28

I would stay away, there is a high chance that he will get cp and I wouldn't like to knowingly pass it to small children.

FullBeam · 24/01/2012 18:29

If one of the mums is pregnant, she may be worried about catching CP and putting her baby at risk. Considering the possible consequences of that, it is not worth taking the risk.

Original poster
nailak · 24/01/2012 18:31

Hmm so wibu to take him to stay and play? And wibu in sending dd2 to nursery on the nurseries advice?

OP posts:
MrsMcEnroe · 24/01/2012 18:31

Oh yes, I forgot about the risk to the foetus in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy if the mother isn't immune to chickenpox - it can cause blindness etc, it's really nasty. So in that case you should stay away until you're sure your DS3 isn't going to pass it on ...

And I know that people can pick up the virus from strangers in the supermarket etc but it is far more likely that they will get it from a friend's child with whom they are in frequent physical contact.

And btw - both my DCs have chickenpox TWICE (confirmed by a doctor both times). Not all doctors believe that this can happen, but in some cases it can!

ThePathanKhansWitch · 24/01/2012 18:32

My dd had it over Christmas, and i caught it as well,(still off work). Went to my Gp on Friday and he told me (he's a Paediatrician) that in fact, it's possible to still be infectious until the last scab had dropped off.Hmm
Who knew?

I put myself in Purdah,and DD, i was just terrified of bumping into a pregnant woman. I did have CP as a child, my immune system is just run down according to GP, so a person can indeed get it twice.

MrsMcEnroe · 24/01/2012 18:32

nailak yes unfortunately I think you should stay away from the stay & play until you're sure your DS doesn't have it ... there are bound to be pregnant women at a stay & play I'd have thought ... not to mention young kids with asthma, low immunity etc.

Original poster
nailak · 24/01/2012 18:39

But aren't there kids and pregnant women settling kids at nursery? And they specifically told me to carry on sending dd2? And the children's centre is run together with nursery?

Can I also add I was in the friends house with all my dcs on thurs so her dds have already been exposed.

OP posts:
Original poster
nailak · 24/01/2012 18:41

So how long do I havr to be in purdah for? Actually at least in purdah you can see other women, how long do I have to be under house arrest? And wibu to take ds3 on dds drop and pick UPS?

OP posts:
ThePathanKhansWitch · 24/01/2012 18:46

I think it's close contact tbh nail, and it is a massive PITA knowing what to do.

I went and done the Christmas shop on Christmas Eve, not knowing i had the virus, feel very guilty about, but i never thought in a million years i had it.

PattiMayor · 24/01/2012 18:52

Well I guess it isn't your friend then but another one of your friends who is worried. It's really hard when you have siblings - your other two are probably going to come down with it in the next few weeks which is going to be a bit miserable. Can you find out if anyone wants to get it over and done with (I did because it is utterly miserable as an adult) or friends who have already had it so that at least you can see friends?

mrspepperpotty · 24/01/2012 18:56

When DD had it I phoned DS's school and asked about sending him in. I was told it was OK to send him in. Basically that's because he might be exposed to it several times during his school career, and as the incubation period is so long (18 days I think?) it WBU to keep him off school each time. An email was sent to other parents warning them of the risk of infection.

A friend's house is different though. It's up to them whether they want their DCs to be exposed. I think they are not BU.

LIZS · 24/01/2012 18:58

You have to respect your friends' request as they are hosting but whether you conintue to go tot other activities i downot you. If nursery are happy then continue to take dd2 but you may find your ds will catch it from your dd2 (assuming she does) so you could be in purdah for ages otherwise. How old is he , if very little staying away won't really matter and you could invite anyone who is still happy to see you to come over.

Original poster
nailak · 24/01/2012 19:16

he is 18 months, and since he was 3 months old has been going 3 to 4 times a week to childrens centre! he hasnt napped all day today and is still awake!

i guess i just have to suck it up! i enjoy the childrens centre outings aswell, gets me out and gives me routine, adult conversation etc!

OP posts:
catsareevil · 24/01/2012 19:22

You dont have to stay in because a child might be carrying chicken pox you could spend months on end inside if that was the case.

On the other hand your friends can decide for themselves if they want you to come round. It does sound like they are being a bit odd about it, but there could be reasons that you are not aware of for this.

Lucycarr · 24/01/2012 19:33

Incubation is 7 - 21 days
All you can do is inform people that you have been in contact with the virus and they will decide if they are happy to have your child around them or there children after 21 days you can assume ds has escaped this time!

Lucycarr · 24/01/2012 19:37

Oops 'their'

WilsonFrickett · 24/01/2012 19:42

Could one of your friends be pg without you knowing? As it can be extremely high risk in that situation and indeed I think a regular on here lost a baby late in pg because of it. Or they may be planning a holiday, or have work stuff - there are loads of reasons why someone would want to not be exposed and I do think it's a teeny bit different from nursery where you basically don't know what a kid has been exposed to. Sorry OP, I know it's a PITA but I think you have to suck this one up.

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