AIBU to be pissed off that arrangesments have been made tickets bought and I have not even confirmed im able to go.

[amijustamardycow]

there was some talk about going to a local concert amongst my friends. I said Ok I would like to go but will have to see if I can get a babysitter and also make sure nothing else is on that day. This converstaion happened late evening the other day, by morning the tickets had been bought without consulting me and arrangements where made by friend for her partner to babysit my dd.

Im a bit pissed off as A) Im not sure I want friends partner babysitting my dd and also not sure dd will settle for him. and b) I had no chance to check I have nothing else going on and that friends took it upon them selves to make arrangemnts in consultation with each other and for me involving paying out for something I have not committed to and c) there is plenty of time to have not needed to rush out that morning to buy tickets.

Am I just beeing mardy or would others find this a little odd?

Unless it was something I desperately wanted to go to (in which case I would have been totally enthusiastic and been making arrangements and my friend would have known how much I wanted to go) then I wouldn't go on principle at having it all arranged like a school trip and being told I was going like that.
Is she desperate to go by any chance? and sees you as the only person who will go with her/needs you to drive/her DP will only let her go with you?

well i am tempted to not go out of principle, it is not just two of us but a group and of 4, 5 including me.

I'd be annoyed about having someone else make my arrangements for me so hastily if I had clearly said I needed to check my diary and sort out childcare etc before committing to anything and they didn't give me the chance.

I'm sure she thought she was doing you a favour, but she was a bit quick off the mark.

Can you check your diary, arrange your own childcare and go anyway or has she jumped the gun when you really can't make it.?

Try to line up your own babysitter, if you can't say you can't go. You aren't committed to going because you didn't say you definately would. If she's bought an extra ticket, that's her problem.

But don't cut your nose off to spite your face, if you can make arrangements to go, then do - making sure, of course that she understands you don't want her doing anything like this again.

Well it certainly is presumptious!!

How well do you know your mates partner - does your DD know him? Do you want to go? If you know him, feel comfortable and want to go then fab, if you dont then just say you checked your diary and actually you cant make it. And yes, make sure you let her know that much as you appreciate her help, you would like to sort your own babysitter out in future.

It does sound really off. Is there any chance they did it out of good intentions- for instance if you'd been having a hard time recently, they thought you needed a break and wanted to make sure it happened? If that's a possibility, I'd go but let them know I didn't really like the way it was organized. If not, I wouldn't go.