to be pissed off that everyone thinks maternity leave is a doss and I have all the time in the world?

[Newmummytobe79]

Sorry - bad day.

Just seem to think that people think maternity leave is a doss.

Ok, there are good days when I do watch a bit of TV, but then there are days when I have to entertain a screaming baby all day on my own.

And don't get me started on the time it takes to get out of the house after timing feeds, changing puked on clothes (me and baby!) and sorting out exploding nappies!

I have friends without kids who I'm sure think I sit on my arse all day as they tell me how busy at work/tired they are.

I also have friends with kids who probably think 'wait until you have two, or wait until you go back to work' - yes, I know it'll be tougher then, but I'm hardly living the life at the moment.

Sorry - sleep deprivation kicking in today :(

P.S I do adore my baby - just fancied a rant

I was on maternity leave for 10 months with DD and they were the easiest and best time 10 months of my adult life.

Sorry OP.

YABU Just returned to work a fortnight ago after 13 months off and pine for my ml. Didn't matter how difficult ds2 was, grumpy ill etc, because really I could devote all my time to him, as didn't have to prioritise anything else. Now back at work, its just sucky.

Total doss. God I wish I was still on may leave.

A doss. Sorry. YABU

Sorry OP, didn't mean to sound unsympathetic. It is just looking after my DD was not too difficult and I really enjoyed being my own boss and deciding what to do each day. Obviously the first couple of months are stressful as a new time mum but in my experience (and I appreciate everyone is different) I have found coming back to work full time exhausting as I have no time for anything what with having to deal with DD when I get home. I am currently pregnant with DC2 and cannot wait to finish work again.

I'd imagine it depends on the baby, and depends on the job as to how you find it. Sorry it's a bad day :(

Ignore all those people who like to compete over who has the hardest life . Life is what you make it , if they are struggling that's their problem . Someone will always think they have had it harder.

I'm loving maternity leave but I'm not trying to please anyone apart from me and my daughter . A few things I am finding that makes life easier -

Stay in bed with LO in the morning . Take up tea in a flask, toys, switch tv on , rest and feed your LO and nap . Who cares if you're not up ?

Buy a sling . I do the vacuuming and clean kitchen and keep house tidy for an hour or two a day while she is in it .

Go for walks.

Have your changing bag pre packed each night. It doesn't take me more that 15 to get her ready to go out , even with nappy change .

Feed while out .

Enjoy your time snuggling on the sofa , who cares if you are sitting down watching tv .

This is your time . You will not get this time back with your LO. Slow down, relax and enjoy . Everyone else is irrelevant .

Er, I know lots of people who faff about on the internet when they are 'at work'. OP YANBU, a lot of people on here think staying at home with kids is easy because they sit them in front of the telly all day or something. Everyone who has a normal approach to parenting realises that it is far more difficult than your average office job where you just sit on your arse and occasionally type things into facebook if your boss walks past (I have had office jobs, this is what most of my colleagues were doing, so stop pretending it isn't all you 'hardworking taxayers' ).

I found it really hard to start with - it's such a shock if you are used to a career. And it can be v lonely.

Try joining some groups, music or somehting - doesn't help you clean the house but may keep you sane.

I'm on mat leave and 2 older dc at school so can honestly say for me with one baby it is a doss, sorry. Having all 3 at home not so much of a doss though, sorry op. That said I'm used to chaos so don't try and spend the day tidying.

First 2 months of colic, expressing feeds and 6 hours of screaming per night were not good. Then i got flu which left me low for a month. But the 2 months after that before i went back to work were a real doss. Everyone's story is different.

It all depends on experience though OP when you have had to juggle work and baby it may feel like a doss. With my first it was the boredom that got me, my advice would be mop puke don't change unless really bad get a wrap sling and make sure you use the time to catch up with friends and drink coffee

I had six weeks off each time with my two, I was climbing the walls with boredom and couldn't wait to go back to work - in fact I went in 2 days in week six the second time because they needed me and it was such a relief to get properly dressed abd back with adults again.

It can be hard at times, I remember when dd was that age! But then similarly she couldn't walk and destroy everything then, she would fall asleep on me for hours after a feed leaving me free to read, MN, watch TV etc...none of which she doesn now at 18 months!

Try tk enjoy this time, with another due in a few months I am.well aware I will never have it as easy again!

Yanbu.

I was desperate to get back to work for a cup of tea.

Maternity leave is like being a teenager. At the time it seems pretty shit but when you look back on it it was bloody brilliant.

YADNBU but I did rather enjoy my ML and I think I knew, despite how busy, tired, incapable of making myself food in the day or DH an evening meal, that I had it rather easier than if I was working because I basically did whatever the hell I wanted to every single day. Bad night? Cancel plans and stay home. Good night and no plans? Make plans and go out.

I had six months, two weeks' before the baby came and the rest with him. I can't stand being bored though and do like to accomplish things so I planned my days like I plan my work with at least one thing on at least three week days with at least one day for dossing at home. We went on a lot of walks and ate a lot of cake If you find it lonely try to find something to do at Surestart or a church group a couple of times a week and get out for plenty of walks. I have never had so many conversations with strangers (many now friends) as I did on ML and it's changed my outlook for good.

As someone else said, keep your change bag ready so you can get out quickly, invest in a sling for pottering housework and keeping colicky baby happy. I would definitely also recommend establishing a good bedtime routine so you can get the baby to bed and have some time to yourself in the evening and if possible hand over baby on one weekend morning and go and do something just for yourself.

I've been back at work five months now and I still hanker for those days :( That said my colleagues are generally less demanding than a tiny baby.

Depends on the baby. I'm on ML with DD (9 weeks) who sleeps a lot, feeds beautifully every 3 hrs, rarely pukes or has exploding nappies and is generally very chilled and portable - so it is a bit of a doss Mon-Weds when DS (2.4) is at nursery. However, when I was on ML with DS, it was a fucking nightmare. He rarely slept, we took 3 months to establish bf, he wanted to eat every hour, he puked after every feed and had more exploding nappies than not...or possibly I didn't do his nappies up tight enough.....I have never felt so knackered or stressed as I did when on ML with DS, and if anyone had tried to tell me it was a doss I would have punched them in the face and then burst into tears.

With my first, it was HARD. I was exhausted, didnt bond with him, he was constantly feeding, he wouldnt nap for longer than half an hour...wouldnt be put down, posseted all the time. I was a zombie. I had no idea what it would be like (32 years old, never held a baby until then, no clue at all) It got a bit easier after about four months (not with the napping!)
With my second, it was easier. He was more contented (although a cr*p sleeper as well) didnt puke all the time, and I knew what I was doing, plus I didnt have the detachment I had with DS1. I left DS1 in nursery two mornings a week so I had some time alone with DS2 and actually enjoyed it 2nd time around.