Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to poke the next person in the eye with a stick when they say to me....

20 replies

MixedBerries · 24/01/2012 12:58

"yeah, I know just what you mean. It's just like when (dog's name) was a puppy" when I mention sleep deprivation? Or if I'm having a stroll with DS and someone's dog is playing up and they say "Ahhh, they're just like children aren't they"? I WILL pick up their dog's stick, poke them in the eye and shout "No it's nothing effing like it".
(Don't get me wrong, I like dogs and have had many pets but it's really so far removed from looking after a baby). Or AIBU?

OP posts:
BullieMama · 24/01/2012 13:18

Babies are slightly different to puppies.... They wee in nappies puppies just piss everywhere!!!!

toboldlygo · 24/01/2012 13:26

I think that if you're speaking to someone who has never had dogs or babies it can be useful to compare having a puppy with having a baby, because people otherwise have no idea of quite how demanding it is.

Not as demanding as a baby, I'm sure, but still involves a complete lifestyle change, a huge amount of responsibility, expense, worry, sleepless nights, piss and shit, transformation of your house/car/garden and endlessly rushing 'to get back for the dog'. If you've never had responsibility for another living thing then it's quite a shock.

unreasonableannie · 24/01/2012 13:30

dogs are worse, they never grow up :)

SenseofEntitlement · 24/01/2012 13:33

I totally agree. Or people who seem to view having a child as like some kind of hobby or employment, as opposed to the entire focus of your life shifting.

"I'm tired too, I was up all night painting - still, it's not so bad being tired if you are happy, eh?"

"Cry it out is so hard - when I put my dog in the yard for being naughty I feel so mean. It's the best thing though - he never bites the furniture now."

"If your toddler is playing up, maybe you should try what I did with my cat."

"Oh, I can never go on city breaks either - I need to get someone to come and walk the dog, and it is hard to find someone who isn't too busy."

"I did work experience in a nursery - I was so tired when I got home at 4pm. I bet it's so much easier with your own." I'm sure it is ultimately more fulfilling, but a nursery is NOT 24 hours a sodding day.

"It must be lovely to be at home with a baby and a toddler - all that time to follow your hobbies and catch up with the housework. I bet I would just watch TV and eat cakes all day!"

"Oh, I know exactly what it's like. I used to work in an old people's home." Annoys me both as a mother and as someone with elderly relatives who are NOT babies. Grr.

Meh. I love my kids, of course, but there is nothing IN THE WORLD that is like looking after a new baby. My youngest is just getting old enough to potter about for short periods (hence how I can have a brew and a mn break) and I am starting to realise just how full on the first two years of a baby are. They are lovely, but it becomes your whole life, even if you physically are doing other things, your baby is still the main thing.

Cherriesarelovely · 24/01/2012 13:36

I don't know, I think there are alot of similarities actually! They are both wonderful and very difficult in different ways but I do think there are some really interesting paralells!

peppersaunt · 24/01/2012 14:06

How about this one: walking baby D when stopped by slightly cuckoo older lady. "oh, she's cute. Almost as cute as my dogs (one of whom was also in a pram)"

tinkertitonk · 24/01/2012 16:29

There is a certain kind of woman, usually upper-class in the UK, for whom babies are merely inferior dogs. Their own babies are different, of course; they are only slightly inferior. DH's mother is one; saying "basket!" to him in a firm voice provokes quite a reaction.

HardCheese · 24/01/2012 16:35

I would say you should definitely poke them, OP. That whole 'my dogs are my ickle furry babies' thing is really irritating anyhow - not to mention a bit demented - but when someone quite seriously expects you to nod in agreement that having a new baby and a new puppy are much the same thing, I feel violence may be required.

UK people - or perhaps I only mean English people here, as I have far less experience with Scottish and Welsh attitudes to pets - what the hell is it with and your dogs???

CotherMuckingFunt · 24/01/2012 16:36

Ds crawled when he was 5 months. I was so proud (pfb) so I phoned my family to tell them. When I phoned my brother he responded with, "Oh that's almost as good as what [cat's name] did today. He climbed to the top of the curtains for the first time." He assures me he was joking. My pfbness didn't let me listen long enough to hear the laugh though.

The comment that I have still not got over was when ds was very ill (at the time they thought it may be leukemia) a 'friend' told me she knew how I felt as her dog had cancer. Ummm, no. Not quite the same thing.

wildfig · 24/01/2012 17:09

You would be U if the person you were talking to had had children, and was deliberately mis-remembering, but if they hadn't, isn't it polite fair to assume they're only doing the human thing of trying to empathise about the joys/horrors of caring for another living creature by using whatever frame of reference they do have?

NeedlesCuties · 24/01/2012 17:13

YANBU!

BelleDameSansMerci · 24/01/2012 17:30

I did try squirting DD (4) with the water bottle I used to discipline the cats. Worked the first time (she was outraged) but then she just thought it was funny...

Popbiscuit · 24/01/2012 17:41

I have dogs and children and enjoy chatting about both. There are actually quite a few similarities and both subjects are nice ways to start conversations with strangers, if you're so inclined. I certainly wouldn't want to poke them in the eye with a stick (said now that my children are all sleeping through the night. I might have had a slightly different response 5 years ago with a newborn, 2 year old and 5 year old Grin).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 24/01/2012 18:11

Don't speak to anybody about anything, OP, that's the answer...

I think babies and puppies, in some instances, are really quite similar. Come near me with that stick at your peril...

AnonymousBird · 24/01/2012 18:19

I was just having the puppy/child conversation today!

We stupidly got a puppy after two babies very close together and I can tell you, the puppy made me cry many many more tears of frustration than either of my babies!!! I wasn't even sleep deprived with the puppy and I was still driven to tears regularly......

There are similarities though, and in terms of basic approach and technique - be the boss and be consistent at all times - then frankly, it's the same process entirely!

So bring on your stick, OP, I must be due a poke in the eye!

Gribble · 24/01/2012 18:32

YABU my dog is an eternal child and is the same / worse than my actual children

She wont eat broken biscuits
She snores very loudly
She farts like a Granny
When she was a puppy we had to put her in our bedroom at night as the Dogs Trust face and the screeching was unbearable
For a while we had to leave the TV / Radio on
When she is unwell she wont sleep and wants cuddles / attention CONSTANTLY

They are very much the same IMO

PoultryInMotion · 24/01/2012 19:55

I remember pre-DC, having to quietly ask DH to stop comparing our dogs to his sister's PFB. I could see poor SIL getting a bit twitchy! Blush

He genuinley thought they were the same thing! Luckily DD came along and made him realise that actually our small baby was slightly more of a challenge than our docile undemanding dog!

ChaoticAngel · 24/01/2012 20:17

"dogs are worse, they never grow up"

^This^

rogersmellyonthetelly · 24/01/2012 20:26

I remember when my dog was a pup, actually it was in some ways worse than having a baby. She was as mobile as a toddler and as needy as a newborn. And as others have pointed out, she didn't wear a nappy. I spent 4 months picking up chewed stuff off the floor, cleaning up shit and piss, crying over my chewed sofa/carpet/skirting board/table legs/shoes and I was up 3 times a night to let her out to wee/poo in the garden. At least changing a babies nappy doesnt involve standing outside in the pissing rain saying 'wee wee time' in an idiotic voice. I won't even mention the time I got up to go to the toilet myself and stepped in something smelly in the dark and had to spend 10 minutes scrubbing my foot in the bath at 2am followed by half an hour of cleaning it off the carpet. Thankfully at that point I discovered dog crates which saved my sanity. A year on and thank goodness we are past the night time weeing/crying stage but she still chews everything in reach.
Oh, and babies are generally welcome everywhere, try taking a puppy shopping with you anywhere other than pets at home and it's a different story. I couldn't go out for longer than an hour for bloody months.
Having had both, I'd have another baby like a shot, but would rather have my eyes bleached than have another puppy!

MixedBerries · 24/01/2012 21:10

Oh dear. Well in that case, either I'm spoiling my child or neglecting my pets. Time to work out which...

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page