AIBU to have a major rant about how crap my life is?!

[Whyisitalwayscloudyabove]

Sorry its long but Im so frustrated and peed off I need to vent - please tell me if I'm being unreasonable by feeling so down about myself!

I'm 27 and ever since my 21st birthday my life has gone Downhill ! It all started when I caught my mum red handed having an affair - thought I was doing the right thing and told my dad - he believed me and then proceeded to stick by my mum and they both turned my whole family against me - making me out to be a liar etc - I was made homeless .....

Due to being made homeless without any preparation or warning i suffered with debts and my credit rating became severely damaged - I'm still suffering the effects of this now !

Fast forward a couple years, mum is diagnosed with cancer , I'm pregnant with first baby , mum becomes progressively worse, I have said baby and get Pnd, mum then dies suddenly , 8 weeks later I find Dh has been having an affair for months . Next year is a complete blur of downfalls - grieving , anger , car accident , money worries etc .

Also told I'm high risk of developing cancer like mum and aunt.

After me and Dh split, I turn to my dad for support and ask if me and ds can move home (dad has plenty room) - dad says no, he has no room as his DVD collection is occupying the 2 spare bedrooms.

I have no choice but to live with Dh for financial reasons, we eventually end up back together (get on well etc but still hurt /angry) and then I fall pregnant again with ds2 - extremely happy but worrying about finances !

Again turn to dad for help after an extortionate house bill I can not afford to pay - dad says unable to help as he has spent all of our inheritance / mums insurance money on a bigger 5 bedroomed house so he can have a home gym. And also makes it clear there is no room for me and 2 ds in a "lighthearted" way.

I'm now totally Pissed off with how my life has panned out !! I'm struggling financially and emotionally. I can't even say I have my health after the news I have been given lately.

I work - part time as can't afford full time child are, but then can't afford to live - but also can't claim any help as we earn too much. Catch 22.

My daily life is such a struggle - no family or friends near by , no mum, and have to commute 2hrs each way per day to drop ds off at FIL as we can't afford child care or for me not to work!

I know there is someone else always worse off but AIBU to be utterly pissed off that all my bad luck has been crammed in to one year !! And to be so jealous that some people (my friend being one of them) have it so easy and brag because "mum always helps"!!

If you have got this far, thanks - I could not see how much I was writing through my tears!!!

Shit. No idea what to say. You have obviously had a really bum deal.

You're not unreasonable to rail against your life or wish that your fucker of a father could actually offer you some support.

Hope things improve soon. In the mean time you have rebuilt your relationship with DH and have 2 lovely DC. You sound like a strong courageous thoughtful person. {{{{hugs}}}} Don't care if I'm not allowed :)

You may want to repost this in relationships, as you may get more support there.

Your Dad should be ashamed of himself, that's not how you should treat your kids. We just had one of ours home for a couple of days as she is finding Uni stressful and wanted some R&R and some parental hugs and looking after. This is how proper parents behave.
I am sorry you are having such a rough time, maybe you are just getting the lifetimes worth of crap in one go and once it's out of the way you life will transform into a wonderful dream. Sad about your Mum, know how that feels too. Concentrate on your kids and your DH, I hope he won't let you down again. Hugs from me too.

Thanks ladies - hugs much appreciated! I'm very suprised ( in a nice way ) that where's my milk sees me as "courageous and thoughtful" - I feel like I'm worthless as I seem to get shit on / walked over all the time ! I mean if you can't even trust your own parents who can you trust?? The world is a very lonely place for me at times!

I feel your pain hun. My life been shit for past few years too. Two miscarriages, then fell pregnant and partner walked out on me. We got back together and he has now decided he wants to meet someone else. So Im gutted too right now. All I can say is you have your kids and they are the important ones. Be a better parent to them than yours have been to you and you will a some point reap the rewards. U need to get a place without your fella as he is bringing you down more. Have u tried housing association? Also I work but tax credits pay a percentage of child care, would this not work out similar to the commuting costs?

There are some people in this world that don't deserve the 'parent' title and it sounds like your dad is one of them . Do yourself a favour & cut the toxic bastard out of your life.

WRT your health scare, can you have further tests to confirm one way or another? I can't imagine how your feeling on top of everything else & IMO knowing may not be any worse that thinking you know.

I really hope your DH steps up to the mark this time but regardless you're clearly a fighter & with all the shit life's chucked at you recently, your time will come soon.
LCN