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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect nursery to adhere to my 9 month old's routine

49 replies

JoEW · 23/01/2012 19:24

my son has been at nursery for 2 months, he's actually 11 months old but was a couple of months premature. He was going for a few days a week so I wasn't too worried about his routine but now he is four days a week so it's really important that he gets enough sleep.

When I looked around the nursery they made a big deal about the separate room for the babies to sleep and how they were able to stick to individual routines. Now, two months later, I discover that the reason he's not sleeping well is that they only put the younger babies down to sleep on cushions in the main play room for their morning nap. They can't actually put them to bed in the dark, cot filled, room because they don't have enough staff.

We pay a fortune for this place, plus £60 a day, and I feel awful leaving DS there now I know that he simply won't sleep in the morning. I want to take him out immediately and find an alternative but we're moving house in 6 weeks and I don't want to completely disrupt him.

Argh. Am I worrying too much?

OP posts:

YankNCock · 23/01/2012 20:01

PBCC, they probably have the correct ratio, but if the ratio is 1:3, and only one child is sleeping in the cot room, someone has to leave the other two children to check on them. I think that's why they have the babies sleeping where they can see them.

YankNCock · 23/01/2012 20:02

JoEW, it was certainly true of my nursery, and I'd suspect it's pretty common. I remember being shown the sleep room, but I am sure DS never slept in there!

PeanutButterCupCake · 23/01/2012 20:04

Ah, I presumed they'd put them all down to nap at the same time, I think they did when I did a nursery placement.

FabbyChic · 23/01/2012 20:06

Seriously? When you send a child to nursery you adhere to their programme not the other way around there just is not enough staff to cater for every parents WHIM.

When my children went to private nursery, both of them went, they had a sleep after dinner on the floor of the nursery with pillows and blankets.

It was at the same time every day. Why? Because that was there rules.

YankNCock · 23/01/2012 20:08

PBCC, for the 'tweenie' room they do put them down all at the same time. At our nursery, most move on to that room somewhere between 13-15 months (usually when they start walking).

valkilly · 23/01/2012 20:14

Sorry OP, what I meant was that when you hand them over, their routine may have to be adjusted a little but not to the extent that it's detrimental to the child. I was agreeing with you completely on this one. Sorry that it wasn't worded correctly. The conflicting answers from the creche would worry me as it seems they're trying to hide something. But leave him there til you move as it will only be too unsettling for him otherwise (unless he is really not happy)

I also agree that he will be more tired after a day at the crèche but you're his mum and you know him best so make sure you're getting the care you expected to receive. Good luck!

WilsonFrickett · 23/01/2012 20:14

Ah, I see. In our nursery the sleep room was like an extension to the baby room, so it didn't have a door but it was a separate room. That way staff could easily check on sleepers without physically leaving the room IYSWIM. In that case, I would definitely talk to the manager - it's not what they told you would happen. But only you really know if this is enough of a deal breaker to move him.

foreverondiet · 23/01/2012 20:15

I didn't last at nursery long with my DD (pfb) partially because of the sleeping (although other reasons too). I think may be quite common in nursery set up, IMO nurseries better for toddlers than babies - when only one sleep after lunch so all in similar "routine".

My DC all dropped morning nap around 14 months, and I wouldn't be happy with the set up you describe. Not fun picking up overtired baby after day at work, I agree that at that age childminder might be better.

Whatmeworry · 23/01/2012 20:16

I think the only way you will get someone to follow your programme exactly is get a nanny, or maybe a good childminder with a small no of kids.

Original poster

JoEW · 23/01/2012 20:21

valkilly I agree that it's probably best to hang on till we move.

Fabby if that's the case then they should say so and I would have done something different. I would have known that was unsuitable for my baby. What I am shocked about is that it's taken me two months to get to that.

forever I think you are right. He doesn't get any of the benefit of nursery, that a toddler would. Its a steep learning curve for a first time mum, eh?!

OP posts:

valkilly · 23/01/2012 20:38

And when you move, try to find a good childminder if you can. I think nurseries are ok for older kids but we have a fantastic childminder who part raised minded DS from he was 6 months old and I know it certainly helped me going back to work, knowing he was getting more individual care in a home-from-home environment. The same lady is taking my DD (6 months) when I return to work in March and I will have no worries about leaving her at all as I know they'll put her needs first.

PattiMayor · 23/01/2012 20:45

Of course a baby that age should be in a cot for naps, not a mat. I moved DS from a nursery when he was a similar age because I decided in the end that they are too much for small babies - they don't get enough one to one care and there's just way too much stimulation. Well there was for him anyway.

I would stick with it until you move but start researching CMs in your new area now.

RitaMorgan · 23/01/2012 20:45

So do they only have one staff member and 3 babies in the baby room?

It sounds like they have an impractical set up, and I wouldn't be happy. My ds went to nursery from 7 months and slept in a cot whenever he was tired, not to a schedule. I can understand nurseries having a designated "sleep time" for children 2+, but under 2s should be able to sleep in a cot as and when they need to.

Original poster

JoEW · 23/01/2012 20:51

I think you're right Valkilly, I wanted a nursery as I liked the social aspect and I wasn't sure I wanted DS looked after by the same one person every day (yes I was scared about him thinking someone else was his mummy!) but I think it's better for children with more individual needs. I am just so surprised that nurseries sell it to you as though that's what you are getting. Perhaps I am terribly naive.

I didn't think that asking for a child of his age to have two naps was so unusual. He's never been a baby that will sleep where he falls but maybe I expected too much.

OP posts:

Original poster

JoEW · 23/01/2012 20:57

Rita they have one staff member to every three babies. Usually there are three staff and (presumably, I don't count) nine babies in the room.

Your set up is exactly what I was hoping for. So some nurseries can do it...

OP posts:

Glittertwins · 23/01/2012 21:03

Our nursery has a cot room off the baby room. It's not totally closed off so the girls can see them at all times in both parts. DD never slept much in there as there was always something going on whereas DS loved his cot. She napped better in the next age group room, around 13-14 months old where there is a more defined nap time after lunch, on mats with blankets.

valkilly · 23/01/2012 21:06

It's not unusual for any baby that age to have 2 naps but I can also see from the nurseries' point of view that it would be a nightmare to accommodate. Some babies might have a morning nap at 10, others at 11, others right before lunch etc. so how could they organise that unless they had 1 dedicated member of staff for the sleeping room? But try not to beat yourself up. I remember looking at crèches before DS (DC1) was born and not really having a clue what we needed as we weren't parents yet!! You do have to trust what they tell you and they should never have promised that they could adhere to each child's own routine as it simply isn't cost effective feasible for them. I know not all nurseries are like this, I'm specifically referring to yours.

It's trial and error with these things. We struck lucky with our childminder. DS is still very close to them although he doesn't go there anymore (visits at Christmas, they give presents for his birthday etc.) Like I said he was quite young when he started going there and he went 5 days a week but he always knew who his Mummy was!

RitaMorgan · 23/01/2012 21:32

It shouldn't be a nightmare to accomodate at all. If the cot room isn't visible from the play room then they just need a baby monitor . If there are more than 1 staff member in the room then they can spare one person to check on the sleepers every 10 minutes.

BlueyDragon · 24/01/2012 20:40

Simply checking on sleeping babies doesn't affect ratios. Surely staff pop to the toilet or answer the phone or take a child out to change a nappy? I still think you're being given unacceptable answers. I would take it up with the manager. Bear in mind if you complain formally this has to be notified to OFSTED so it is in their interest to sort it out quickly. I wouldn't normally advocate getting feisty with a childcare provider, but they're clearly not being sensible.

BlueyDragon · 24/01/2012 20:46

And in defence of nurseries, which seem to be getting a bit of a kicking here, ours was marvellous, catered to DCs needs and treated them as individuals. Both always knew who Mummy and Daddy were. It's the quality of the childcare that counts, not the structure IME. We now have a nanny and that works just as well but differently. DS did call me Daddy once, but he was 10 months old so he can be forgiven the confusion I think

Angel786 · 24/01/2012 20:59

Hi op, I could've written your initial post! Nursery made a massive deal of having cots for babies to sleep, sticking to dd's routine etc. She's been there two months, never slept in the cot, they put mats on the floor for all babies after lunch.

She used to (and still does when at home with me) nap 1.5 hours in the am and half to an hour in the pm. At nursery Shes lucky if she gets 40 mins to an hour per day.

Also her food timings have all changed but I don't mind that at all as long as she's not going hungry!

JellyMould · 24/01/2012 21:12

My nursery used a baby monitor and checked the babies every 10 mins or so. That said, my DS wouldn't sleep there! He slept in a bouncy chair in the corner of the baby room, and a sleeping mat from about a year old.

unreasonableannie · 24/01/2012 21:38

Poor little souls

breatheslowly · 24/01/2012 22:22

Our nursery is great at following your requests. They don't have a separate cot room and the babies move onto mats instead of cots at 12 months. DD isn't a great sleeper during the day, but she does sleep for about the same length of time at home or at nursery. However she always looks much more tired after a day at nursery as they are so busy. They bounce from activity to activity so I think it is much more tiring.

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