to change my mind about sending dd1 to this school due someone harassing me?

[bytheMoonlight]

DD1 starts reception this year. I've pout down our two local schools as first and second choice. The first choice is a catholic school where she attends nursery but it looks as if it will be over subscribed this year.

The second choice is a a good state primary. But we are having problems with a man who sends his two children there. He has a vendetta against us since we reported his younger brother for anti social behaviour and damaging our property (for no reason other mindless thuggery).

There is a harassment order against this man for harassment towards my husband and the police have also warned him about harassment towards me on the school run, which I bump into on every day.

Atm, we walk to school along the same route but our children start at different times which means we see each other probably a couple of times a month. Which is enough tbh. Since the last visit by the police he doesn't say anything, but I can tell he is desperate to, this morning he just sucked his teeth and stared at me. Last time he was laughing and staring at me. I feel intimidated by his behaviour as it is, standing in a playground/cueing up for school everyday near him would be like hell for me and I would be really scared incase said something in front of my oldest dd, who is 4, I don't want her scared to go to school.

Would this be a good reason to appeal for dd1 to get into the other school? The other schools in the area, we are not in catchment for.

Would the appeal board say tough because you wrote this school down on your prefences, which I did because at that time I thought he had stopped doing it. It just turns out we hadn't seen each other for a while, and he is still going to try and intimidate me every time he sees me - just in a way which isn't really reportbale to the police who would act as if I was wasting their time.

It wouldn't harm to try to appeal on those grounds but to be honest, I'm not sure an appeal panel would see it as their problem if you see what I mean.

How far away are you from another Primary? I mean other than the two you've put on the form?

Tough one. If you have another school which is close enough, then I would seriously consider it, for long term peace if mind. Your dd's school days should be a happy memory, not a time to look back at remember a worried, anxious mother and potentially some uncomfortable encounters with this man. But if you do get in to a non catchment school, and schools in your area are oversubscribed, then you may not be allowed the same flexibility when your second child starts school, leaving you back at square one and with dc in two different schools. Could you talk with someone at the education dept about your choices, with the suppport if your police officer?

Worth writing, or even making an appointment with the School Admissions Officer at your Education Authority to discuss this. Since there's Police action against this man, you probably have a decent enough case to at least be considered for another school.

Since you're at the very start of the education process, I'd look at a different school. This could run for years and years and you don't want your children's school experience to be spoiled by this man. Even if he obeys the order, he cannot be cautioned for 'looking' at you. Even a 'look' can be unnerving though .

Phone your Education Authority and make an appointment to discuss it.

I can understand your concern but the thing with bullies is that you can't let them think they've won. So you send DD to the best school you can and you deal with his silly tooth-sucking performances as a separate matter. If he's known to the police, call them in and explain that he is breaching the harrassment order. Otherwise, rise above it and don't give him the satisfaction of a reaction. He sounds like a pantomime villain and I'm sure other people think he's ridiculous.

He's not a pantomime villan cogito, he's actually very intimidating and I dread him saying something that dd1 will hear

I used to chair admissions appeals. Are there places at other schools in the area? The appeals panel will be given this information by the LEA. If there are, then your issues with this man would not sway the panel as you could send your child to one of the other schools.

If there are no other places, it would be considered when making the decisions.

We are awaiting the letter to tell us which school she has been accepted in, think we get them in April.

Should I wait till I get the letter?

Kladdkaka as far as I know all the schools in the area are over subscribed. Even the worst one.

YANBU do everything you can to send your dd to another school..imagine all those years ahead of you in the playgroungd,school plays,sports day and meeting him to and fro to school most days..it will be hell and you will end up stressed along with knowing that being the type of lowlife he is he will be talking about you to anyone who listens..it will spoil the best years of your dd starting school..you will end up dreading every day with the fear in the pit of your stomach cos that is what will happen been there done it..wouldnt wish it on you

I don't think an appeal would work on those grounds, there are very strict rules for appeals for infant classes, which yours might be. Get yourself over to the education boards for advice on appeals, there are some very helpful experts over there that give excellent advice.

Places are allocated according to the published admissions criteria. If special personal circumstances are listed as one of the criteria, then let them know before places are allocated so it can be taken into account. If it isn't listed, there is no point as admissions officers have no discretion to step out of the published criteria. Only the appeals panel can do that.

I'd phone and then write to the LEA saying you wish to withdraw your application to the state primary school and tell them about the harassment and the order against him.
Do it today don't wait until you get a letter telling you which school she is in.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll yeah I forgot. The rules are the same unless there is 'class size prejudice'. Doesn't matter what the circumstances are, you cannot win an appeal for infants if it takes the class over the legal guaranteed class size (was 30 last time I looked) unless places have been allocated incorrectly. If the normal admittance is below the national legal number eg 25 then the normal rules of appeal apply.

I think it is worth letting them know.

Yes speak to LEA today. They might just be able to change the schools listed on your form as it is only a week or so since applications closed.

I would use it as grounds for appeal. The man has been visited by the police due to his behaviour towards you, so it is not unreasonable for you to want to avoid him.