in wondering if my son is TOO active

[janelikesjam]

He cannot seem to walk normally down the street (like other boys I observe) but must jump and jive. At the moment he just seems to sing or mumble constantly i.e. he is never quiet. He cannot sit down to a meal without jumping up 2 or 3 times for one reason or another. He sometimes likes to speak over me or not listen to me.

I am wondering if it is low level ADD even. He does not climb walls inappropriately, for example, so do not think it is ADD at a more serious level. Nevertheless it is exhausting and I do worry if this is normal. I just see boys his age walking along the street quietly. Any thoughts?

he is 9 years old by the way.

What do the school say about his behaviour there? Could he just be letting off steam? How does he react if you try to stop any of these behaviours (like getting up from table)? Does he do any sport type activities?
It does sound rather exhausting!

Thanks Wolife, yes I am going to speak to the school about it. The fact that I have not been told he is "disruptive" in class is (I suppose) a good sign, but I think it would be good to get an opinion from the teacher. He is pretty bright kid, but not reflected academically, which may be a sign too. I do feel a bit embarrassed to ask but it may help me try and make some sense of it.

Is it nervous energy? I often wonder this too. Mine is six and can't just pad nicely along the road next to me. She dashes ahead, sort of juts her head out - like a meercat. Stops, runs some more. Hides behind a tree, jumps out. In her swimming lesson she leaps up and down in the water whilst she's waiting for the next instruction. Yet she learns really well and is fine otherwise. I don't know. Maybe they're just twitchy types. My sister can't sit still - maybe my DD is the same.

Dd is five in a couple of months and is just as you describe. I did put it down to her age but it hasn't improved as the years go on. She is incapable of just doing something ,she has to sing or jump or skip or mutter. I did wonder about ADHD too but there are no problems at school. I reckon some kids are just really active, don't' know they're doing it so don't realise its a problem, if that makes sense.

Thats perfectly normal. Please dont put labels one something because he isn't a little Victorian.

I would say if he has got to the age of 9 without the teachers making any comment, he is fine and is just a bundle of energy. I have to say it all sounds quite average 9yo behaviour from what I remember of my stepkids at that age.

He's probably fine if you've not heard anything from the school.

What's his diet and exercise like? Might be worth a food diary, because certain foods can encourage hyperactive-like behaviour and it's not always the obvious ones that contain colourings or sugar.

What are his school reports and parents evenings like?

Is he allowed to play out?

Does he get enough exercise? My ds is a bit like this (10) but has vast ammounts of energy. He needs to be out every day, running, swimming, biking or he gets very jumpy. He rarely 'walks', more skipping or jumping. The only time he is still is when in front of a computer screen......

I just think we are conditioned to the 'slumped in front of a screen' view of childhood. Being bursting with energy is normal in children as long as i isn't causing him problems focussing on his study or other tasks.

I have one like this, DD, 5 yo, cannot walk normally when there is skipping to be done and peace and quiet gets filled with constant chatter and singing. I think she is absolutely normal, full of energy and super interested in her world.

It drives me bonkers but I'd rather that than a sullen pale tv addict.

Sounds just like my DB was (and still is at 38 - now a brilliant SEN worker). I think it's just another example of 'normal' and I've taught many boys like this. Love them, personally.

I feel reassured, thanks. He has a pretty active life, is often playing out. I am not a Victorian btw! I think more recently the constant noise, singing, shouting, mumbling and (still) not being able to walk without jumping about, got me a little concerned. Plus also somewhat reflected in his school work and refusal to do homework. And his difficulty in finishing things. But I think it does sound about right he is just at a very "active" end of the spectrum. I still might have a word with his teacher though, as I think it does sometimes affect his concentration/focus. Thanks again.

Can he sit still at his desk or in group situations?

It is quite common for some children to literally not be able to sit still. Often it is linked with too much screen time, not always though. And research is unclear as to whether ADHD children's brain wiring help them settle infront of playstation/TV etc or whether they are ADHD because of the volume of screen time.

Talking to his teacher sounds like a good place to start.

He sounds just like my 9 year old DS........not the talking over bit but def the jumping about, sot sitting still etc.

Yep, talk to his teacher. I was worried about my DS a few years ago and spoke to my doctor...he said if his behavior at school was ok then there was nothing wrong with him. I still wonder sometimes tho

My eldest is 8 and forever mumbling something, jiving down the street makingnoises.... he's not like this in school so I don't worry. He's very similar to me at that age, simply away with the fairies, daydreaming etc.,

I think some children are just very active. Have you considered asking him if he'd like to try a sport?

My Dd is as you describe - could never walk anywhere, zero inability to sit still at home and so on. So I signed her up for gymnastics. As soon as she was old enough she was selected for the squad, and she now trains 12 hours a week. It helps to contain her, but not entirely. However, I do find it reassuring that most of the other girls there are little whirlwinds just like my DD and it is one of the few places I don't get comments like "just watching her tires me out".

She is not a naughty child though - almost hyperactive in the sense that she just doesn't stop.

My little brother was like that. the coping mechanisms my mum used were basically wearing him out - get him to run around the playground 3 times before taking him home after school, send him out to play in the garden before getting him ready for school (whilst getting his lunch ready etc), sports clubs in the evenings and weekends.... It really did help a lot.